


MINE - Suna Rintarou

by kageyamaswaterbottle



Category: Haikyuu!!, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Aoba Johsai Week (Haikyuu!!), Childhood Trauma, Consensual, Daddy Issues, Dom/sub, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Inarizaki, Karasuno, Love Triangles, Manga & Anime, Marking, Possessive Behavior, Praise Kink, Public Hand Jobs, Shiratorizawa, Shower Sex, Spit Kink, University, degradation kink, toxic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-18 22:01:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 41
Words: 61,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29496972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kageyamaswaterbottle/pseuds/kageyamaswaterbottle
Summary: The ever so optimistic Y/N Kang becomes the Inarizaki University's Volleyball team's club manager, but she has a lot to learn with the help of her friends from the team, including her best friend Miya Atsumu, and the boy she has a crush on, Kita Shinsouke, and other schools. One boy in particular, though, catches her eye. The dark & mysterious Suna Rintaro. Why was he so cold to her? What did Y/N do to him? More importantly, why did he look so familiar? What will happen between two repelling magnets?Also hello if you're here from tiktok:))*MATURE CONTENT*18+; TW: toxic, death, smut, kinksI DO NOT sexualize characters/people who are younger than 18.I do not own any of these characters in this story.All of them come from the anime, "Haikyuu".(Some AOT references)
Relationships: Kita Shinsuke/Reader, Miya Atsumu/Reader, Oikawa Tooru/Reader, Suna Rintarou/Reader
Comments: 10
Kudos: 82





	1. C1

It was a new day. I got out of my bed in my 2 bedroom apartment, ready for what was going to happen. I had applied and gotten in as the Inarizaki University's volleyball team's club manager. Honestly, I wasn't surprised, considering I was the only one that applied. I put on my uniform for school, nervous but also excited to be a part of this new club. I grabbed a bowl, a box of cereal, and milk and sat down at my small kitchen table.

_Ring Ring_

Dad was calling me. I picked up the phone to talk to him. Dad's never really home, the apartments to myself for the most part. He's a truck driver, so he's always going all over Japan making deliveries all the time, I'm not really sure for what because it's always for different companies, but the few minutes that I talk to him in the morning and at the night mean the world to me.

"Y/N! How are you my sunshine? Did you sleep well?"

I giggled as I ate my Honey Nut Cheerios.

"Good morning Dad! I'm just fine. And yes, I slept like an angel. Surprisingly since I told you about how I became the manager for our boy's volleyball team."

"Well, this is your second year of college, so I'm sure you know many people by now right? Wouldn't you know who's on that team already?"

This sort of calmed me down. Surprisingly.

"Actually, that's true. I do know two of them. But the rest, hopefully I can become friends with them."

Dad said, "You'll be fine darling. But, you better not be doing this just to be near boys Y/N. I expect you to still be doing as well as your doing in school right now. I'm clear about that right?"

I laughed. "Of course dad. I'm only doing it because the community service hours I'm getting from this is CRAZY. Besides, I haven't played volleyball in so long, so it'll be cool to watch others play it for a change. Boys are the last thing on my mind. Listen, I'm gonna go now since I have to catch the bus, I'll talk to you later. Bye dad!"

"I love you sweetheart!"

I went to my room and quickly applied some light makeup. Just some lipgloss and mascara. I don't really like wearing a lot of makeup to school, just because I'm not really trying to look good for anyone. I combed my long h/c hair, which was probably my favorite part about me and then tied it up into a ponytail, leaving two strands on either sides of my face. I grabbed my backpack which I put my gym clothes in, and my uniform jacket and left the apartment.

Two blocks later, I reached the bus stop, I plugged in my headphones and played some music, my current favorite being from The Neighborhood, and pulled down my skirt as I waited for the bus to come. School started at 7:30, but I always get there half an hour earlier because I like seeing if there's anyone new I could talk to who may be by themself. It's just something I do. It may be cringe, but it's something I like doing to maybe help someone out if they need any, and I like getting to know new people. There may also be a chance I'll run into Kita.

Kita Shinsuke is one of the players for the volleyball team. Actually he's team captain. I'm very fond of him. Okay, yeah, I have a slight crush on him. But nothing else. He comes to school earlier than I do, and I've seen him clean the bathrooms a couple of times, he also helps people out in the library sometimes in the morning, since he's academically very smart. He's actually tutored me in the morning twice before too, that's how we became acquaintances. I just admire the amount of work he puts into the smallest things and he really inspires me in cool ways.

Once I got off the bus, there lays my school, nothing too odd about it. It was just your normal school. When I walked into the courtyard, I smiled and said hi to everyone I saw or if they waved at me.

I wouldn't call myself popular, but I'm definitely not a nobody here. I've introduced myself to lots of people, but I never get close to anyone. Well anyone but one person at Inarizaki.

Chasing up to me and putting his arm around my shoulder, came Miya Atsumu. Atsumu's actually in my class, but we've been family friends for a long time. His twin, is also a friend of mine, but I'm way closer to the blonde than the darker haired one.

"Y/NNNNNN! IS IT TRUE? ARE YOU GOING TO START WATCHING ME PLAY EVERYDAY?"

I laughed as we continued to walk towards the library, "Unfortunately Atsumu, yes, I have to watch you play everyday." I looked at him with a pouty face and then rolled my eyes. He started to jump up and down and he reminded me of a golden retriever.

"Well at least I'll have a fan watching me all the time now." He said with a big grin.

"PFFFTT FAN? Atsumu, as your manager I can't have favorites and you know that!" I said with a smile.

He said, "It's okay (Nickname for Y/N), I know deep down, it's me."

When we walked into the library, the first person I saw by themself, was Kita.

Atsumu looked at me and said, "Y/N Y/N Y/N! THIS IS YOUR CHANCE!" In a loud whisper.

I slapped his shoulder and said in a fast whisper, "ATSUMU! SHUT UP! You know I can't talk to guys easily."

He rolled his eyes and said, "Yeah I know you can't, that's why your clearly talking to a hot guy like me right now."

I scrunched my eyebrows and said, "That's different."

He said, "Well actually, you can talk to him, but you don't want to talk to him. But before I push you to talk to him, let me help you real quick."

Thank god Kita was so heavily into his textbook.

Atsumu turned me around, pulled my rubber-band out of my hair, and then fixed my hair with his hands before pushing me to the desk where Kita now looked up.

I turned around to look at Atsumu who waved at me and ran away, and I sat down across from where Kita was. Kita smiled.


	2. C2

I looked down and could tell I was blushing. Even though all I did was see Kita smile.

"Hey Y/N-Chan! Are you ready for practice today?"

I nodded my head. "C- can't wait! Seriously, I'm excited to meet a bunch of knew people."

Kita then took one of my hands in both of his arms, and did I look like a tomato. "Please, if you EVER, need help with ANYTHING with organizing for the team, please let me know. As the captain, I'm so lucky to boast about you to our team. We could not have gotten a better person to be our manager." He tilted his head and smiled. I took my hand out from his hold and scratched my head in an awkward way and said, "Well of course I will, but as the manager, your job is to give me some of your struggles! So please, use me however you need to!" I widened my eyes, realizing what I said may have come off as weird. I covered my hand over my mouth and said, "I MEAN! In whatever any of you guys need to do your best at your games, I'll try my hardest to give the best assistance I could give."

He chuckled and I smiled. I love his cute laugh. I looked at his textbook, "What are you working on?" I asked him.

"Well I'm trying to figure out how to do this one math problem. It's kind of confusing but I think something like it might be on my next exam even though my teacher hasn't covered it yet."

"Let me take a look at it!" I told him.

Somehow, I stood up, moved, and sat right next to him instead of across of him. He passed the book to me and I pulled out a piece of paper and a pencil from my backpack. I looked at the problem and realized it was a quadratic equation.

Kita said, "It's fine if you can't do it Y/N! I mean your a second year after all, you probably haven't even learned it yet since I'm in my thir-"

I put my pencil down with my work neatly organized and even out some small notes for Kita.

I smiled, "What was that about me being a second year?"

 **KITA'S POV:**  
I was sitting in the library when I saw Atsumu come in with someone. It was his classmate Y/N Kang. She's very well known at our school as one of the most brightest people on campus. It's crazy, how fast she's able to make someone smile, but I think that's always her goal and I admire it.

I saw the two of them bickering over something and the next thing I know is she's right in front of me. Her bright hazel eyes were looking down.

I asked her if she was ready for practice today, since she became our manager and then the next thing I know, she sitting right next to me and is helping me with my math. A minute had gone by while she was silently working, and I looked at her features.

Y/N was very pretty. She was short, probably the same height as that bright orange haired kid at Karasuno, and her hair was very nice as well. Her face was small, but it had features that popped like her jawline and her lips that were parted at the moment as she worked.  
  
I watched as she worked and was about to tell her it's fine if she couldn't do it but she left me impressed. She did what I've been working on for forty five minutes in basically forty five seconds. She even wrote notes for me so I can look at them.

"What was that about me being a second year?" She gave a confident smile.

She gave me the piece of paper which had all of her work neatly organized and said, "I like studying in my free time, so I've been trying to learn things in advance so I'm more comfortable with them in the upcoming year."

I smiled as I thanked her and she said she was going to go to the gym to see if the coaches needed anything prepped for today, and I told her, "I'll come with you!"

I didn't even know why I said that, but it came out.

Y/N looked excited and said, "The more the merrier!"

 **Y/N's** **POV:**  
When we walked into the gym together, I realized how clean it was.

"This is one clean gym." I said.

One clean gym? Really Y/N? That's the best thing you could've said?

Kita said, "Well we haven't had a manager for a couple of weeks, so I took it upon myself to do all the cleaning around here, but I'm glad you find it sanitary. Once the boys come though, it'll get dirty just as quick, but if you need help cleaning, I can always stay after with you."

I shook my head, I don't like giving people work to do when it's supposed to be done by me.

"As much as I would love for you to stay, you guys have to go home as soon as your done with practice because I know how exhausted you guys will be, I've got this Kita-San!"

And so we went to our different classes, me sitting next to Atsumu and him asking me how was this morning and I smiled and thanked him for the opportunity of letting me talk to Kita.

The rest of the day passed by quickly, and now I changed into my track shorts and gym jacket with a white tank top in the girls locker room. I was starting to feel nervous of what I'll have to do today, since I only knew three people on the team. The twins, and Kita.

I put my hair up into a ponytail as it was this morning, and made my way towards the gym.


	3. C3

I walked into the large gymnasium and the first thing I saw was a bunch of boys jogging around the court. I saw the coach and introduced myself.  
  


"Hello Coach! I'm your new manager. My name is Y/N and it is an honor to help you guys out!" I smiled, tilted my head, and reached out my hand for him to shake. I guess you could say I knew how to get adults to like me easier than others.

The old, yet wise looking coach blushed a little and shook my hand back. "Oh my, well aren't you a sweetheart! The boys and I are so fortunate to have you with us." Said the nice man. He then continued, "Why don't I let you introduce yourself to the team?"

I nodded and tried my best to look excited when deep down I was still a little nervous and said, "Of course!"

He looked from where we were standing near the benches to the court where everyone was still running and yelled, "BOYS! That's enough jogging for now. All of you come here so our new beautiful manager can introduce herself!"

I blushed a little and scratched the back of my head, "Aww you think I'm beautiful coach?"

The man who's most likely in his 60s said, "I- I- of course you are!"

I giggled as all the boys ran up to where we were and said, "Well I think your a very handsome man!" And both laughed.

My eyes went immediately to Kita, who was smiling at me and I smiled back. All the boys were now in front of me and Coach. I put my hands behind my back and sounded as peppy as I can.

"Hey everyone! I'm Y/N L/N, I'm a second year here, and I will be your new manager for this volleyball team. I'm responsible to be there if you guys need anything off the court, so don't ever hesitate to talk to me because my job is, obviously, for me to communicate with you guys! I promise I don't bite!"

All of the guys seemed completely fine, a couple smiling and then my eyes landed on this one guy. He was not smiling but not looking at me either. His eyes seemed almost cat-like. A shade of yellow but green. His black hair was messy and long but not too long. He was also pretty. I MEAN PRETTY TALL.

And pretty cute I mean.

"GUYS SHES LYING SHE DOES BITE!" Atsumu yelled to everyone.

I went up to him as everyone was around him and smacked his head.

"Don't make me look like a weirdo, you idiot! Truth be told I try my hardest not to get mad but I will always be honest with all of you. I'll be Inirizaki's number one fan!"  
  


Unintentionally, and sort of in a dorky way, I put my hand, which was at the moment a fist into the air, to show that I supported them, but then put it down when I got a little embarrassed.

All the members, except the cat-eyed guy, laughed at me and I laughed to even though I knew they were laughing at me. Atsumu then put his arm around me.  
  
  


"Guys Guys Guys. I know she's cute but she's OFF-LIMITS. She's our manager after all."

Osamu yelled, "We know you like her you idiot just date her already."

Atsumu and I looked at each other then started LAUGHING so hard and could not look at each other for a couple of seconds.

"Oh Osamu I forgot how funny you are!" I said to him.

Atsumu said, "Y/N and I could NOT be together. After all, she's basically like family. That's why I have to look out for her. But the only guy that I see that I can reason with, IF they would like to be with her is you."

He then stuck out his hand and pointed it in Kita's direction.

I looked at what Atsumu just did, and looked at him, then his hand, then at Kita, who also looked a little confused, and then I looked at coach, or Kurosu-Sensei, and said, "COACH! ISN'T IT TIME FOR PRACTICE?"

He smiled and said, "Yes of course Y/N dear. BOYS! GET INTO POSITIONS AND STRETCH FOR TWO. We will then have a 15-point game. I'll split you guys in half. Oh right, Yuto isn't here today, so Y/N will be taking his spot."

"Y/N will be?" Said who I would later know as Aran Ojiro.

"Actually, I used to play volleyball back in middle school! I had to stop playing all the time because of a knee-injury, but I still play with the twins sometimes and can play now and then. I do have to apologize in advance though. Because I know I'm not going to be as good as any of you, so please criticize me if you have to so I don't slow your team down."

Osamu smiled and said, "Y/N is surprisingly talented. I think you guys will be shocked."

On my side of the court, I had the libero named Michinari Akagi, Heisuke Riseki, and myself obviously.

But the other two players on my side intrigued me. I had Kita there, so I was feeling nervous already. Then, I also had the cat-eyed boy who coach said was named Suna. Rintaro Suna.

I was in the front row, on the left side, and Kita was right behind me. To my right was Suna, in the middle blocker position.

I quickly tied my hair up again and left some strands out, and looked behind me to see Kita already looking at the other side of the court.

On the other side were the twins, Ren Omimi, Aran, and Hitoshi Ginijima.

This seemed like quiet the competition.

I looked back at Kita staring intently at our components and when he made eye-contact with me, his eyes almost vanished and he gave me an adorable smile.

"This team relies on you too now, Y/N."

"I'll try my best not to let you guys down!" I looked to my right and saw Suna, who was looking at me with his, in the best way I can describe it, scary, eyes. I smiled and said, "We've got this!"

He rolled his eyes and looked back at the front of the net. I stopped smiling, a little embarrassed that he didn't like the positive attitude I was showing. I then got into position by bending my legs as much as I could without my knees feeling any pressure because I tend to give them pressure as the game continues. I really should get a knee-brace again, I thought.

As the whistle blew for the game to begin, Atsumu who was in the serving position, took a deep breath than took a couple of steps.

 _Jump Serve_ I thought. The ball was going to fall between Suna, Kita, and I. I yelled "MINE!"

I went back and bumped the ball slowly but steadily into the air, towards Riseki so he could try setting the ball.

"NICE RECEIVE!" Kita yelled.

Riseki passed the ball to Suna, who was blocked by both of the twins, but made a cross-shot into an empty area.

That first point was ours.

When we got the point, everyone looked at me.

"What's wrong?"

Kita said, "No one ever gets Atsumu's serve on the first try. I'm really impressed Y/N."

I started to rub the back of my neck and said, "O- Oh! Well I've gotten used to it a couple of times. It's sort of obvious which serve he's going to use depending on his steps."

"Y/N! THEY DIDN'T KNOW THAT DUMMY!"

"Oh be quiet Atsumu as if you knew you did that either. Besides your team should be aware of what you're going to do."

Everyone, including the coach looked at me. The court was completely quiet. "We should've gotten you sooner!" Said the coach. I smiled.

The game continued, the other team was ahead of us, 11-9.

It was my turn to serve. I made a service ace the first time, so the score was now 11-10. The second time, they got the point, meaning it was Atsumu's turn to serve again and Suna and I were in the back row.

The whistle blew.

Atsumu threw the ball into the air, but now, he decided to switch the amount of steps he takes, to throw us off, so now no one knew which serve he was going to make.

I guess Suna and I realized it was going to be another Jump Float, so we both went towards the middle of the back row, and yelled "MINE!" together.

We looked at each other, still running towards the ball, and then the next thing I know, the ball was about to hit my face but Suna grabbed me and we both fell.

When I opened my eyes. In the middle of the court, Suna was on the floor, on top of me.


	4. C4

His arms let go of my back and he put them to either sides of my shoulders. I couldn't even tell if he was breathing. "Are you okay?" I asked.

He didn't say anything. He just nodded. But, even though it was about two seconds, I looked into those eyes, wanting to determine if what color they were. "Oh! so their green!"

"What?" This was the first thing he ever said to me.

"Your eyes. They're green."

He looked at me. as if I was stupid and got off of me. He then walked back into his position. Kita ran over to me.

"Are you okay Y/N?"

"Oh yeah, I'm fine! Thanks for asking Kita-san. Sorry that was my fault." I sat up.

"No one makes a mistake on their own. Everyone is responsible for each other." He kindly smiled and gave me his hand to help me stand up. I took it and once I stood up, I gave him a big smile back. I then saw that he was still holding my hand. I looked at it, and then he did, and he let go and walked back into his position in the front row with the hand that was holding mine on the back of his head. I couldn't help but smile.

The game ended with the other team winning, 15-13. Atsumu looked at me and stuck his tongue out. I rolled my eyes out stuck my tongue back at him. We had a ten minute break before the boys do some studying about who they're playing against tomorrow so I went to go fill up everyone's water bottle since I'm still the manager.

I held five bottles at a time.

That was a mistake. 

I was looking at Kita talking to the coach and while I was walking the opposite direction. One of the bottles popped open, and the water fell directly on him.

On Suna.

He looked at me with his almost bored eyes, now wide open, in rage. I put the other four water bottles on the bleacher.

"Oh my god. I am SO sorry. WAIT YOU MUST BE FREEZING!" I quickly ran to get a towel from the supply room and came back to give it to him. He snatched out of my hand and said,

"You're just a good for nothing."

Atsumu was right next to us to hear Suna say that.

"HEY! DON'T BE SO RUDE TO Y/N. SURE SHE'S ONE OF THE CLUMSIEST PEOPLE YOU WILL EVER MEET, BUT IT'S ONLY HER FIRST DAY SUNA."

Everyone was looking at us. I looked at Atsumu, then at Suna.

I don't know why, but I started laughing. I was so embarrassed. But, I didn't want to cry. Especially not on my first day. So to hold in the tears I was feeling coming forward, I laughed.

"I am definitely clumsy. But, on the bright side, you were probably feeling really hot from the practice so I think in a way I was able to cool you down since the water wasn't exactly "hot" either." 

Suna said, "God. You're annoying"

I didn't say anything back. I just smiled. I didn't want to screw anything on the first day.

I took the other empty water bottles I had to fill for the rest of the team, filled them up but took them back with smaller numbers, so I don't make the same mistake again, and Coach said I could leave since it was already 8 and practice would only be five minutes longer.

I went to the Girl's Locker Room. Thank god I had packed some sweatpants because it was FREEZING outside. When I unzipped my bag, which was just on the floor, I saw my keys, my school uniform, and my regular shoes. But my sweatpants were not in there.

I forgot to pack my sweatpants. Good one Y/N.

Luckily, I checked my phone to see if there was a bus stop to my part of town nearby, and indeed there was. I RAN from the locker room with my bags and sat down for a minute on the bus bench. I looked up at the night sky, it was really pretty. I heard footsteps run up towards the bus bench. Since it was dark, I couldn't tell who it was until they came closer, near the street light.

Lit up by the moonlight and that street light, was none other than Suna, who was looking at me sitting on the bus bench.

"Please don't tell me you're taking the bus."

"And what if I am?" I talked back.

"I would much rather walk home than see you."

"First of all, you've only talked to me today. Today only. You don't have enough circumstantial evidence to COMPLETELY dislike me. So I would advise you to stop being so overdramatic and dead set on finding me so annoying."

His hands were in his pockets of his sweatpants, so I guess he had the opportunity to change. I stood up as I saw the bus come into view, "And besides, I love walking more than taking the bus, but I don't exactly feel like walking a lot today after my first practice." 

As the bus stopped, I walked on then sat in the back of the bus. He came in the back and set opposite of me.

The first 7 minutes were quiet. I looked out of my window and I knew he was on his phone. "Why are you wearing shorts in the freezing cold?" He asked in his deep, dark voice. 

"Why can't I wear shorts in 32 degree weather?" I clapped back.

After giving me a stare, "Okay." That's all he said.

"It's because I left my sweats at home." I said, still avoiding eye contact with him.

He didn't say anything in return. His eyes were still on his phone, which is where they were this whole time. 

For another 5 minutes, absolute silence. I realized he didn't get off of the past two stops.

I asked, "Are you following me?"

He then looked up from his phone then at me.

"Why would I possibly follow you?" He said in that yet again deep voice.

"Well you haven't gotten off. What stop do you get off at?"

"The next one."

"Oh! Same! I've never taken the bus from here at night, so I guess we didn't know we lived nearby."

He then said, "I did."

Silence for a couple of seconds. I nodded my head.

"Oh" was all I could say. Then just silence again. We had a minute left before we got to our stop. I took out my school uniform jacket and put it over my legs which were freezing. Once we got to our stop. I got out of the bus first, then Suna. He was walking the opposite direction, so I figured he lived in the neighborhood next to me. He had his earphones in his ears.

I yelled, "See you tomorrow!" He turned around to look at me.

I waved with a smile on my face. I wasn't going to let this guy make me upset.

Besides, he's not my ex. He's not Oikawa.

None of these volleyball players are going to be able to get me super mad anytime soon. At least I hope.

Without smiling, he turned around and kept walking.

"Just smile Y/N. It's a new day tomorrow."

And I headed home.


	5. C5

It was a new day. Yesterday was my first day as a manager, and I guess one could say it wasn't the most successful first time, but it definitely WAS NOT the worst thing in the world.

I was still in my bed and I checked my phone, it was 6 so the bus came in half an hour. I put my phone back on the counter and stared at the ceiling. I started thinking back to yesterday.

Kita held my hand. I liked it. Did he? He probably didn't even think about it. I couldn't stop from smiling. And then my eyes got wide. Suna was on top of me and his eyes were almost....mesmerizing. I thought back to that moment.

Did he wear...eyeliner?

But then I remembered that everyone was around us. I covered my face to bury a scream from embarrassment.

After being ashamed of myself for two more minutes, I got up and took a quick shower and put on my light makeup again, then put on my uniform. I checked my phone and it was 6:23 A.M. I grabbed a healthy grain bar and put on my shoes, grabbed my volleyball bag making sure I packed my sweatpants this time then left. I plugged my headphones then head out toward the bus stop. How come I haven't noticed Suna on the bus before? Does he not take it in the morning? When I got on the bus, I looked around and I didn't see anyone else except a teacher at the school and another random person.

I sat down in the back of the bus like I always do, taking out my History textbook and highlighter. As the bus made it's way to school I continued to study, thinking of nothing but what was in the book, and how I could be more helpful for the team. I'm 19 years old, I need to be able to act like my age.

When I got to school, I went straight for the library. On my way, I noticed the gym. Suna was already there. So was Osamu. They were serving and talking to one another. I assumed Kita and Atsumu were in the library so I kept going.

Once I got to the library, I saw Astunu and Kita next to each other at a table. I walked over and took a chair and sat next to Atsumu. Kita and Atsumu both smiled and Atsumu yelled, "Y/N! I MISSED YOU!" Kita and I both shushed him and laughed under our breaths.

"So how was your first day as our manager y/n?" Kita asked me.

I looked at him and smiled, "Honestly, I really like you guys! I'm really hoping to get to know all of you more and be of more help."

Kita nodded and took in every word I said. "Well, your bright energy is already enough for us. Everyone notices how you change the mood anywhere you go. It's obvious y/n." 

My eyes were wide open. I can tell I was blushing. "Oh, thank you Kita. That means a lot to me." My smile was so wide right now and I looked at the floor of the library and avoided eye contact.

How stupid are you Y/N? He's just a guy giving you a compliment, not confessing his love for your

Atsumu looked between the two of us and laughed and said, "Well, I'm going to leave you two nerds alone. I think Suna and Osamu are practicing right now in the gym. Kita, you coming?"

Kita looked at Atsumu and shook his head. "I have to clean the ladies' bathroom. The one no ones using right now in the building next to the gym. I have twenty minutes before class starts anyways so might as well start now."

As soon as he said that, I said, "Why don't I help you?"

Kita looked at me and said with a sincere smile, "I don't really need any help Y/N!"

I asked again, "Are you sure? I really don't have anything else to do. I don't mind!"

"Are you sure?" Kita said.

"Yup! I'd love to help." I smiled at him.

Kita looked at me and paused for a second before saying, "If you don't mind, then I would love if you helped me."

Atsumu said bye to the both of us and patted my head and Kita and I headed to the bathroom with no conversation. It was comfortable silence. 

The bathroom was dimly lit thanks to the little light coming out of the dirty window, and the bathroom itself was a MESS. It would be so satisfying to take off a bunch of these spots on the wall next to the sinks. I checked the sinks to see if they were still working, which they were, but since they weren't used the actual sink was dirty. So I took some water and threw it around the sink to get some stains off and I saw some paper towels in the dispenser and cleaned the rest. Kita took out a spray and new white rags from his backpack and sat down in front of the wall. I chuckled.

"You keep rags in your bag?"

He nodded, "You don't?" He laughed.

His laugh was almost contagious. I loved hearing it.

Once I cleaned the other two sinks I sat down next to him, making sure my skirt wouldn't get dirty.

I took the spray and sprayed in the area I was about to clean. I picked up a rag and asked if it was okay if I used it and he said it's completely fine.

I started wiping down the wall and there was a CLEAR difference between what the wall looked before we cleaned and after just one wipe.

While wiping in another moment of comfortable silence, I looked at Kita, with a face that looked like he was deep in thought, I wondered what he was thinking about. He was the captain of the volleyball team, cleaned all of these bathrooms, maybe even had something going on at home since everyone always has something, regardless if it's a conflict, little or big. I look back at what I was cleaning and continued to wipe.

"What's that?" Asked Kita.

"What's what?" I asked.

"The song you're humming."

I was humming?

I asked, "I was humming a song?"

And then I remembered.

"I'm SO obsessed with this anime called Attack On Titan, and there's this song called 'Red Swan'. It's so addicting."

"Really? I'm not a big anime watcher, but, I might watch it now that you told me about it!"

I got happy. Imagine. A guy watching an anime for me. That sounds like a dream. He probably won't watch it, but the thought of it makes me happy.

"You should! It's really good! The action is SO intense and mesmerizing, and the TITANS. They're kind of creepy but the suspense is so intense and I have no clue what comes until it all hits and I literally-"

Kita started laughing.

"Y/N I didn't know you could talk so much about the things you liked."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

I mean I could go on for hours and hours about certain anime shows but I was only getting started.

"Y/N. I need to tell you something."

He continued to clean the wall and I looked at him.

"What's wrong? Did I bore you? Oh, if I did then I'm really sorry. I won't go on and on about something like that if it bothers you. I know anime isn't for everyone."

He didn't look at me, but he said,

"I like you."


	6. C6

**Kita's POV:**

I was in the library sitting with Atsumu, talking about the game we have in a week. We'll be playing against Aoba Johsai University, which has some really strong members like Hajime Iwaizumi, but more fearfully, their server, Tōru Oikawa. 

"You know Kita, Oikawa isn't all that you know." 

"What do you mean?" I asked Atsumu. 

Atsumu responded, "He makes being cocky a personality trait, I mean he acted literally like a piece of trash to-"

He stopped halfway then looked back and I saw Y/N enter.

"Trash towards our team." He completed the sentence. 

**Atsumu's POV:**

I don't think it's my place to tell Kita what happened in Y/N's past. I'll always hate Oikawa for what he did to Kang. I was glad that after Y/N completed high school with that worthless piece of trash, she came here. Now I could protect her. She's like my little sister and her smile is one of my pieces of motivation for where I am today. It was her always encouraging me to do what I love, no matter what my parents thought. I get to play volleyball with Osamu, and I partly feel like I owe Y/N for where I am today. 

When I was about to tell Kita by accident though, I saw her enter. She was holding a textbook with a bunch of sticky notes sticking out. 

That's the dorky Y/N I know. 

**Kita's POV:**

When I saw Y/N, we made eye contact and she gave me that kind & sincere smile she always gives everyone. While she was walking our way. 

I told Atsumu, before she got here, "Maybe we should be worried about Aoba Johsai, but also we should remember that only consistently practicing with the team will make us better." 

Once Y/N sat down, I asked her how she thought her first day went. 

"Honestly, I really like you guys! I'm really hoping to get to know all of you more and be of more help." 

Her smile was just so serene. It always was. Why is it that I'm just noticing it? We had talked last year, but seeing her more now, I had felt almost, excited, to get to talk to her. Although I knew she was embarrassed by what happened with the water bottles last night, I had texted Kita a bit later that night. 

_Kita: Be a bit nicer to Y/N, it's only her first day.  
_

_Suna: why do you care._

_Kita: It's just called being respectful. I know you don't like talking to new people, and you don't have to talk to her, just try being more calm._

He had left me on read after that. But seeing her here today, looking completely fine after everything, it made me extremely happy. 

Without thinking, I said, "Well, your bright energy is already enough for us. Everyone notices how you change the mood anywhere you go. It's obvious y/n." 

I looked up from the book I was skimming over and saw Y/N blushing. She was always easy to blush. That made me smile. But she avoided eye contact with me as she thanked me. Atsumu said he was leaving so I told them that I was also going to go clean the bathroom. Y/N asked to clean the bathroom with me. I was honestly surprised, who would want to clean a dirty bathroom? But Y/N was always open-minded about things. I said that she could come along. 

When we walked in silence, I noticed her eye-lashes, they were so long. Her skin was also so surreal. It seemed so smooth and perfect. Once we started to clean, she asked if I kept rags with me, and for the first time in a while, I laughed. Genuinely laughed. 

When we were cleaning, she started to hum. Her voice was so soothing, so I didn't say anything for a minute or two. 

I asked her what she was humming, and she said it was from an anime. Honestly, I'm not really into anime that much, but I wanted to have something to keep the conversation going, so I told her I would watch it. Maybe I would. Probably not though. 

"Y/N, I need to tell you something." 

I was not going to lose anything by telling her. She was still our team's manager. 

"What's wrong? Did I bore you? Oh, if I did, then I'm really sorry. I won't go on and on about something like that if it bothers you. I know anime isn't for everyone." 

"I like you." 

To be completely honest, I don't know if I like-liked her, but I haven't felt this way about anyone before. I saw Y/N stop cleaning, her rag still on the wall. She looked at me. We stared at each other for what seemed like forever, but was probably 30 seconds. 

"Huh?" Was all she said. 

I chuckled. "I like you, Y/N. I want to take you out sometime."

"Like, on a date?" 

I nodded my head, avoiding to look at her and continued to clean. 

She also began cleaning and didn't speak for another good half a minute. While we were cleaning. I thought that the silence meant no. But her rag touched my own rag on the wall. 

I looked at her looking back at me once again. 

"I'd love to, Kita-san." 

I smiled and continued to clean. I checked my phone and we had 5 minutes to get to our classes. She saw the time too and I took the rag from her and we both washed our hands. Neither of us could stop smiling. We grabbed our bags and headed out of the bathroom. 

"Do you want to continue cleaning the bathroom tomorrow morning?"

Y/N nodded and said, "Well, I'm headed to class now. See you during practice!" She waved goodbye and headed the opposite way. 

**Y/N's POV:**

HE ASKED ME OUT. ON A DATE. After I said bye, I was feeling giddy. There was no other way to describe it. I texted Atsumu to meet me during break so I could tell him what happened. 


	7. C7

After the class came break so Atsumu and I headed out and went to our secret spot that only the two of us knew about. It was at the near back of the school where a little fountain was. Well maybe it wasn't a secret but no one we knew came here, so we called it our little hideout. There were a bunch of trees that covered this area and we had found it when he was running away from me our first year in college last year when he stole one of my textbooks and had told me to learn how to relax. 

I tucked my little hair strands behind my ear and started explaining today's earlier events. "You won't believe what just happened this morning. Kita asked me out." 

Atsumu's eyes widened and he jumped from where he was sitting and faced me. 

"WHAT? Tell me everything that happened right now, from the beginning." 

I nodded. "Okay so I know you always knew I had a small thing for him, but we were talking while cleaning and well, he just said it out of the blue. And well, I didn't want to say no."

Atsumu started, "But Y/N, are you sure you're ready to start dating again? Do you remember the last time what happened? I had to come to your house every day for almost a year to make sure you were okay. Do you know how much money I spent on buying ice cream for you? How was your stomach okay after all that sugar?" 

He poked my stomach and I slapped his hand. 

"Don't be going around poking peoples' stomachs you idiot. Anyone in their right mind would wonder if there's something wrong with your head. But, I don't know. It's been more than a year since I've gone out with someone Atsumu. I miss the thrill. And it's Kita. Kita is probably the total opposite of Oikawa. You know that better than I do. I don't think he could even hurt a fly." 

"What about our rule about no going out with the manager?" He asked me. 

I laughed, "YOU created that rule stupid. I'm not asking for your permission obviously. I can go out with whoever I want to. Have I stopped you from hooking up with my friends before?" 

"No but I just need to make sure you're okay." He took his hand and pulled out a strand of hair that was behind my ear. 

"If someone were to hurt you again, I would never be able to forgive them." He said. 

I looked at him while he looked at my strand of hair that he pulled out. I tilted my head so my eyes were in front of his. 

"Hey. I'm going to be okay. You're by my side after all. And I'm by yours. And besides it's only a date. There are no labels, no anything. Just two people who are going out on one date. Besides, I haven't even told him that I like him yet."

"You didn't?" He asked. 

I nodded and looked behind me at the little fountain that had water flowing out of it. 

"Nope. I want to see how this goes first. I can't let myself go to the first guy who tells me he likes me you know. I know my worth to know I'm better than that." 

He smiled and patted my head. "Well, I hope you two have fun. When are you going?" 

I froze. WE NEVER CAME UP WITH A TIME. 

"Good question Miya." 

He laughed. "You don't know?"

"No, but we'll figure it out. Don't you even worry. Come on break is almost over. And don't you dare say a word of any of this to Kita." 

We both stood up. I started walking first and then Atsumu called my name. 

"Y/N. I forgot to tell you. Our next game is against Aoba Johsai." 

I looked back. 

"What?" 

Atsumu said, "I'm sorry. I didn't tell you sooner. I just found out this morning when Shinsouke and I were talking. But I can come up with an excuse to tell the team you can't make it."

I shook my head. 

"No. I can go. I'm not afraid of him you know." I smiled and continued to walk. 

After school was over, I changed in the locker-room immediately and headed to the gym. Surprisingly, but proudly, I was the first one there. Coach had said he would be late today too. I gathered all of the water-bottles which were empty, and filled them up and carried them to the benches two at a time, so I avoid any messes happening again. When I filled up my last two bottles for the team, I heard someone come in. 

I turned around to see Suna walking in. 

I looked at him and saw him look at me then role his eyes and I swore I heard him say, "Tch", and roll his eyes. 

I walked up to him with a bottle in my hand. "Well, good afternoon to you too." 

He looked at me then at the bottle. He snatched it out of my hand, not saying a single word. He walked away but as he walked away, his shoulder pushed my own. 

Why did this guy hate me so much? What the fuck did I do to him?

But then again, why was he so familiar? 

I looked back to see him walking towards a bin full of volleyballs, and then I saw the rest of the team coming in. 

When I saw Kita, I smiled, forgetting how much of a bitch Suna was being to me for absolutely no reason. 

When he saw me, he smiled back. 

After practice was over, everyone got the water-bottles I filled up for them and were ready to head back to their locker-room. Before they were about to head back, Kita said, "Remember everyone. Next Saturday, we have a match against Aoba Johsai." 

I was about to head out to go grab my things, but Kita jogged up to me and stopped me as everyone started to disperse, "And this Saturday afternoon, will I be having a meeting with a certain Y/N Kang?"

I looked up acting as if I was thinking, "Hm, I'm sorry, I might be a little busy. I have a little thing with someone on Saturday afternoon." 

He looked down, and almost, sad. 

I laughed. "I'm sorry Kita! I was kidding! I'd love to go out on Saturday. Text me the when and where."

He looked almost like a husky. "I will. Do you want me to walk you to the bus stop?" 

I was going to shake my head, saying it's fine and that he doesn't need to do that. But something unusual happened. 

Suna came up from behind, with his phone in his hands and not making eye contact with anyone, and said, "You know she can fucking walk herself to the bus stop." 

Kita looked behind him to Suna, who was still on his phone. 

"Suna! What type of language is that?" 

"She's not 10 or your little sister. She has legs and can walk herself to the bus." 

"But a woman shouldn't be out by herself so late at night if she can-" 

Suna scoffed, "Her? A woman? She sure as hell doesn't act like one." 

I looked from Kita back to Suna as they exchanged these words about me as if I wasn't in front of them. 

"He's right. I can walk myself Kita. Thank you for worrying about me though. I'll see you tomorrow." 

I gave a small smile acting like I wasn't offended, turned around, and walked toward the locker-room. 

What was Rintarou's problem with me? 


	8. C8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Suicide; smoking; alcohol
> 
> AOT S4 SPOILER INVOLVED TOO*
> 
> I just wanted you guys to know that some of the things that I talk about in this story can become very deep or intense, and if you ever feel like you need to talk about ANYTHING, I am always willing to listen.

Once I got my bag and headed out to the bus stop, I looked at my sweats. I was so thankful for them because I was FREEZING. I checked my phone. November 11th. 

As I kept walking towards the bus stop in silence, I didn't think of anything but my mom. 

Tomorrow would be 10 years since she died. I was 9 when it happened, but I was definitely closer with her than I was to dad. When I remember her, I remember that she always got me anything I wanted, or if I was scared of something, I remember how I would just crawl into her bedroom and sleep next to her since my father was always out and about doing deliveries. I remember the way she comforted me, rubbing my back and patting my head and giving me head kisses. 

But I remembered how I could smell the alcohol whenever she kissed me those nights. She oozed of it. I could also see the empty bottles next to her on the nightstand right before I crawled in. 

But what got me more scared, that I chose to ignore, were the 5 empty cigarette boxes she would go through everyday. 

I never thought badly of her. But one night, I remember very clearly, my father had came home and mom and him got into a big fight about something. I don't exactly remember what, but it was huge. I remember peeking into their room, and I saw mom throw a bottle towards my father. Not at him, but next to him. I never figured out if she tried hitting him or if she missed on purpose. But I do remember hearing some parts of the conversation, 

"YOU SPENT $4300 DOLLARS ON THESE BOTTLES IN JUST ONE MONTH. JUST ONE MONTH. ARE YOU AN IDIOT? CLEARLY YOU ARE. WE COULD HAVE USED THAT MONEY TO PAY FOR OUR BILLS BUT NOW WE HAVE TO PAY EVEN MORE THANKS TO YOUR ALCOHOL AND THESE." 

My mom seemed as if she was going to go hysterical. It was clear to me at eight years old that my mother had an addiction. I sat down behind the door, hearing more bottles thrown in the room that was not even a couple feet away from where I was sitting. I don't even know if it was my mom or dad throwing them anymore. I had curled up and was crying in silence so they couldn't hear me. 

That was the last time I had seen my mom. I never got to say a formal goodbye to her, because a month into the rehab my father forced her into, she jumped off of the building. 

As I was sitting waiting for the bus, I felt a shiver run through my body as I thought of my past. 

I'd still like to believe that my childhood, for what it's worth, was still okay, because I was able to meet the Miyas. They truly were like my second family. After mom had died, I would spend the majority of my time at the Miya's home. I slept over there many times since Dad would almost always be out and if I needed a break from my distant relatives who had chosen to take care of me nearby, since it wasn't the most comfortable to sleep at their place since when they looked at me, they automatically thought about my mom. And most of my family hated my mom after she passed away. Once I was 16 however, my father bought a place for him and I, and I stayed there on my own whenever I needed to, and that's where I live today. 

I then heard someone walk over to where I was and sit down across the bench. I look to my left, but my vision was blurry. Oh god. I was crying. I quickly looked to my right and rubbed my eyes, not caring if my mascara smudges or not or if it was even still on. Today was just a day I wanted over so tomorrow could pass by even faster. 

"Are you crying because I wouldn't let Kita fucking walk you to the bus stand?" 

I looked at Suna, who was sitting next to me with a straight face, looking right at me. 

I laughed. I'm just tired of his bullshit at this point. "Not everything is fucking about you. Leave me alone." 

He smiled.

He literally smiled. 

"Oh, is the sweetest angel in our school really not so sweet?" 

I was confused, "What?" 

"You act as if you're all sunshine and rainbows, but there's no way in hell that's who you really are." 

At this point, the bus was here. 

I ignored him and walked to the back of the bus. He followed me. Before I took my seat, I turned around and looked at him. 

"What did I do to you?" 

He looked at me, with that always blank look on his face. 

"Why do you ask?" 

"Clearly, you don't like me. Is it because I embarrassed you in front of our teammates? If it's because of that, truly, I am sorry, but I'm really, REALLY, not in the mood to get you any more angry with me more or less." 

"Y/N, you don't remember, do you." 

"Remember what?" 

He scoffed and looked at the window then shook his head. He then took a seat across from me. I sat where I was planning on sitting. 

I looked at Suna. He did wear eyeliner. His eyes really were something. But his personality, really not so much. I plugged in my earphones and pressed shuffle on the first playlist I saw and closed my eyes. 

I then felt something come next to me and I open my eyes. It was only the first 5 minutes of the bus ride out of 30, what could possibly be happening? 

Suna sat next to me and took out one of my earphones and put it into his ear. 

"Suna what the heck?" 

He still had that same damn look on his face. 

"I knew it."

"Knew what?" 

"It was Red Swan". 

Why am I always humming. What the hell is this. 

"You watch Attack on Titan?" I asked him? 

"Uh, of course. It's one of the best animes to ever be created. It's literally a cinematic masterpiece." 

I sat up straight. 

"No way. Did you watch the last episode where-"

"She died? Yeah. I really liked her. She was so funny too."

"I KNOW. I blame Gabi."

"You sound like your on Eren's side Y/N."

"And what if I am?" 

"NO WAY." He looked at me with his eyes wide. 

He continued, "How could you possibly be on eren's sid-" 

He was interrupted as the bus came to an unexpected break that caused Suna to use his arms to support himself by holding onto the window and the other arm over my own chair. Now one of his arms were over me as he was reaching for the window, while the other was behind me and the lights of the bus had gone out. 

Suna's faces was inches from mine. His eye's were closed as his head was down. That was odd. 

I looked at his arms. They were veiny and looked so porcelain. The hand that was on top of my chair was going into a fist then letting it go then making it go back into a fist. He opened his eyes and that's when I made eye contact with them. 

Neither of us moved. 

"Are you scared of the dark?" I whispered. 

"What makes you think that?" He whispered back. 

We were still inches from each other. 

"Your eyes were closed, and you were constantly gripping your left hand." 

He looked at me with his cat-like eyes, I didn't know what I felt in that moment, but he moved back into the way he was sitting before the bus stopped. Even though he was still in the chair next to me, whatever just happened was weird. 

I changed the topic while the lights were still off. "Maybe I am a Jaegarist. how could you not be? We've been watching him for 4 seasons now fighting for his family and friends." 

The tension I felt before started to go away. 

"Well Gabi was just a kid defending her people. Same for Reiner." 

I laughed, "I really like that about the show. There's no actual right or wrong." 

He smiled as he looked at the seat in front of us. "You're right, there really isn't is there." 

I turned to look at him as it was still dark. When I turned, the lights turned back on and the bus driver said, "Sorry guys, that was unexpected but shouldn't happen again!" 

His smile was so. 

So breath-taking. 

"You should do that more often." I said. 

He asked with a confused face when he looked at me, "Do what?" 

"Smile" I blurted out. 

And then his smile went away. 

Now it had become awkward again. However he still had in my other earphone, so I played my playlist and looked out the window and became drowsy and felt my eyes closed. 

When I woke up, the bus driver had tapped my shoulder. Suna was gone.

"Miss, isn't this your stop" the kind driver asked me. 

Where did he go? 


	9. C9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: fat-shaming; burning; thoughts about death

**Suna's POV:**

"Smile" Y/N said.

I didn't realize I was smiling before. But now that I did, it had to go away. Why was I talking to her?

I despised Y/N. Hated her since I saw her again last year.

~ 

It was the beginning of freshman year of high school, when she had been there for me.

When I was a high schooler, I didn't look like what I do now. I know that much about myself. I was called a girl, because my hair was long, and since I was overweight, my chest made it look slightly as if I had breasts. Since my parents were poor, I could only wear my older brother's hand-me-downs, and those were two sizes too small for me. I was in hell from late elementary to early high school thanks to my constant tormentors. Two of them I don't remember anymore, but one of them, the trio's leader, was Tōru Oikawa.

My high school life wasn't the happiest.

My dad loved to smoke, and he always had an extra pack on him. It couldn't hurt him if I took a box.

I had never smoked before then. But I had no friends to stop me. I had had enough of trying to look out for myself.

They picked on me because I didn't have any motivation to tell anyone.

No one would care.

After school one day, I had gone to a classroom that I thought was abandoned. I wanted to try a cigarette since my mom said that the house was being torn down that day. It was purely out of stress that I wanted one. We were going to be staying with extended family. 

That meant more comments about my weight from family members I didn't care about.

When I walked in, I saw the three boys in there already, I was about to leave when Oikawa said,

"No no no! Stay with us! I see what you're trying to hide in your hand there."

I looked at my hand holding the box of cigarettes.

"We want to try one too." Said one of the boys with hair that reminded me of an onion.

I look at my box of cigarettes then at the three guys.

Maybe if I give them one, I thought, they might want to be friends with me and stop beating me up for no reason. 

I give Oikawa my box of cigarettes and give him the lighter from my backpack, and he lights one up. 

He's about to put it in his mouth until he looks at me and then smirked. 

"Boys hold him." 

The two guys hold me from either arm. 

What was happening? 

I had to speak, "I thought you said if I share, we co-" 

Oikawa laughed. 

"You think people could become friends by smoking together? How much of an idiot are you?" 

Oikawa kicked me in the shin, then put the cigarette in his mouth then let out a cough. I didn't make a sound. 

"Ugh. Smoking is nasty. Never doing THAT again. But at least I tried it once. Now to burn it out." 

He took the cigarette and brought it near my stomach. 

And then I felt the heat from the cigarette touch my skin. 

"AH-" I yelped. I couldn't hold it. It burned. 

Tears were in my eyes and I struggled as the boys kept holding me. Laughing. Oikawa pulled the cigarette away. 

"What's wrong little girl? Can't handle it?" 

"ARE YOU INSANE?" I yelled. He was right. I couldn't handle it. 

Oikawa punch me in the gut. 

"Are you? Yelling? At me?" 

He punched me again. 

I looked up, thinking about how long it would be until he let me go. Until I heard someone come in the room. 

"HEY! WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK YOU'RE DOING?" 

I turned around to see a girl, a bit taller than I was. Maybe 5'4? I was only 5'2 at the time.

The boys let go of me and I ran, not forgetting to take the box of cigarettes and lighter with me. 

My dad always said that, "These were stress-relieving." 

I ran, and ran, as the boys explained themselves to Y/N. 

I had found another classroom that was empty for sure this time, and crawled into a corner and huddled. I cried more that day then any other day in my life. Luckily, the burn mark only left a small red spot since I had yelled, scaring Oikawa from continuing, but it still hurt. Maybe I was crying from the pain. The pain I felt from that mark, the pain I felt from my family. 

The pain I felt from being alone. 

I continued to cry, and as tears were running down my face, I looked at the cigarette box. 

"These better be stress-relieving". 

I took one out, and I was about to light it, until I stared at the flame. 

Is this worth it Suna? 

I then heard someone burst through the door. I thought I had locked it, but apparently not. 

She was there. 

Y/N came up to me, and looked at what I held. 

She snatched both the lighter and the box of cigarettes from me. 

"Trust me." She started. 

"These will not make your life any better. I can promise you that". 

She looked at the box then threw it in a trash can in the front of the dusty classroom. 

She came back to where I was and sat down cross legged as I stay huddled. 

"I'm Y/N. What's your name?"

I didn't answer. She didn't care. She pitied me. 

"That's okay. You don't have to answer if you don't want to." She continued. 

"You know, smoking actually kills. I'm sure you know that, but it's true. It doesn't fix anything. If you're down about something in your life, the best thing to do is have the right people by your side. That may seem hard, but trust me, it happens. As many bad people are in this world, there are twice as many good." 

She seemed to still be staring at me. I nodded my head. Taking in her words. 

_"As many bad people are in this world, there are twice as many good."_

I repeated those word in my head. 

She then did something I was not expecting. 

She hugged me. 

Even though it hurt because of the burn mark. I didn't stop her from hugging me. I've never gotten hugged by anyone before. I was always anti-social, never talking to anyone. I was quiet as I heard my whole classroom call me "Cat-girl", even my mom and dad never hugged me like this. 

From that hug, I felt the pain she felt for me. We shared that in common. 

She hugged me for 5 whole minutes without us sharing any words. I put my head over her shoulder and continued to cry. She rubbed my back as I let it out. 

After I stopped crying, she let go. 

"Do you need a ride home?" She asked me. 

Y/N continued, "Not that I have one either, I take the bus, but I'd be more than happy to pay for you!" 

I shook my head. 

She stood up and reached her hand out to me. 

I looked at it. 

She smiled and shook her head and bent down to grab my hand to help me stand up. 

"I'll be heading out then. I hope I see you soon!" 

As she exited the classroom, she looked back inside the class at me and said, 

"DON'T smoke got it?" 

I nodded my head. 

I didn't go to school for a week after that incident, as the spot where I got burned ended up infecting me, and since I couldn't go to the doctor due to not wanting to ask my parents to spend more money on me, I stayed home and painfully waited for it to heal. 

When I went back, nothing had changed, except that the three boys stopped bothering me. 

Maybe Y/N had actually stopped them. She really did care. I smiled.   
  
"Suna. Suna?" The teacher was calling me. 

"Suna you are 14 years old. Please learn to answer when I call on you the first time." 

As I was smiling, I said, "Sorry, Miss." 

I was happy that whole day. 

I wanted to go find Y/N. Thank her. 

If it weren't for her, I might've smoked, but not just that, I might've decided not to live at all anymore. 

When I looked for her, I found a classroom, it was the classroom where she had hugged me. I smiled, thinking about that small interaction that changed my life. 

"Y/N...listen." 

Who was that with her?

"I'm sorry, I didn't know about your mom. My dad had dinner with the Miya twin's parents, and they were talking about how sweet of a person you were and what happened. I didn't know she committed suicide at a rehab center." 

"Oh. It's not your fault she died." she responded back. 

The male continued, "But, it made me realize, I want to be a better person. For you." 

Y/N scoffed. "You? Be a better person? Really." 

I peeked inside the classroom, I could see Y/N's back. 

She was talking to Oikawa, who was caressing her face. 

She retorted, "Do you know how many people I have had to talk to because YOU screwed them up? Just last week I had to talk to a guy who was sobbing because of you. Do you find it fun? This isn't anything NEW with you Tōru." 

So, I wasn't the only one she took care of. 

I was just someone who meant nothing to her. 

Oikawa shook his head. 

"Y/N, the people I've been hating on. I regret it so much. After hearing your childhood story, I've realized that that ends now. I'll be apologizing to everyone I've ever hurt. Getting on my knees if for them. They deserve that much respect from me. I've been nothing but an asshole. But I've made you do so much for me. Please teach me how to be a better person Y/N." 

He got on his knees. 

Y/N also got on hers. 

"DON'T DO THAT OIKAWA. I'm not the one you're supposed to be apologizing to. But, if you are dead set on becoming a better person, then I'll believe you." 

She believed him. 

She believed the guy who burned a cigarette on me. 

Not that she knew he did that, let alone know he smoked that cigarette too. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *A/N - I just wanted to point out that personally, I would NOT choose to be friends with someone based off of the fact if they smoked or not. I genuinely think that doesn't mean anything because everyone is allowed to make their own decisions in life. If you choose to smoke, that's YOUR decision! If you don't, once again, YOUR decision. It's just that for this story, Y/N hates it because of what had happened to her mom.*


	10. C10

**Suna's POV:**

Coincidentally, A couple of days after I had heard Oikawa and Y/N's conversation. My parents had wanted me to go to the US.

I had stayed there for 3 years, up until I had to go back to Japan, as I wanted to do college there at Inarizaki.

America was really fun. I had made friends on the volleyball team, and lost a ton of weight. Aran had actually been the only person who would be going to Inarizaki with me. Senior year in high school, I was forced to go to a bunch of parties and hooked up with a couple of girls. It was really just meaningless sex though.

My first day of my first year at college, I had seen someone I thought I'd never see again.

It was Y/N, she looked even...even

prettier.

I didn't even know that was possible. But, her eyes. I saw hurt in them. I was staring at her intently, until I saw a guy put an arm over her shoulder.

I put my hands into fists. Another guy?

I walked a bit closer, but pretended to be on my phone not listening to the conversation.

"Come on Y/N. It's been almost 3 months since you two have broken up, yet you're still not over Oikawa?"

"Atsumu, him and I dated for 2 years. And we were friends for 2 years before that. It hurts a lot you know. And on top of that, I KNOW he was manipulative."

"So manipulative Y/N." The blonde haired dude, named Atsumu, agreed with her.

"You know Miya, you're a good friend."

"Obviously I know that, who do you think I am? I'll be coming over with some food later. I'll see you then."

As the year progressed, I became close with the volleyball team here. I was happy. I didn't think about Y/N anymore, even though she was best friends with my own close friend, Atsumu.

Until the second year of college came, and here we are. On a bus together.

I despise Y/N. Yet, I'm sitting next to her on this bus now.

I hate her because she never really was there for me, when I thought she was. She's just too nice to anyone who she meets. I didn't get any special treatment.

While we were listening to her playlist in silence, I realized that I knew most of the songs she played, I didn't know anyone else who listened to anime songs like I did.

Or talk so highly of some anime shows either.

Then I remembered, her Mom's day was sometime around now.

"Hey Y/N." I started.

I looked at her. She was already asleep.

She deserved the sleep too. She played really well the past two days. I assume because her and the twins would play together.

Suddenly, the bus hit a speed bump.

The speed bump caused Y/N's head to fall on my shoulder.

I looked at where her head was, to anywhere but there.

And then, 2 minutes later came another speed bump.

This time, her hand fell, palm facing up, right on where my thing was in my pants.

Oh no. I think IT liked it.

But I couldn't lift her hand, otherwise she would wake up. So I looked up and tried to hide any signs of anything my body was feeling.

We had 5 more minutes until we would get there.

Suna you could handle this for five more minutes. Just let her sleep.

I then looked at her other hand, where her phone lit up with a message from Kita.

_Kita: So, for our date on Saturday, how does going to this cafe sound?_

Anything I was feeling vanished.

As we got to our stop, I gently lifted her hand, and she didn't wake up. I guess she was a heavy sleeper. When I got up, her head tilted upward toward the chair, and I left.

I told the bus driver that there was a passenger still in the back of the bus and that this was her stop and head to my house.

**Y/N's POV**

When I got home, I went straight to bed without changing. I checked my phone to see two texts.

_Atsumu: Do you want to hang out at my place tomorrow? You haven't been over in a while and mom and dad want to see you to make sure you're doing good._

I know that Atsumu and Osamu's parents care a lot about me, and that makes me very happy, but sometimes they remind me of things I rather not be reminded of. But I do appreciate them, and haven't seen them in a while.

I texted back:

_Sure! Can't wait to see them:)_

And then I had another text from Kita. He was asking about going to a cafe.

I texted him too:

_Sounds good! Just text me the address, does 1 sound good?_

I put my phone away, not really caring for an answer right now, since he probably won't even respond anytime soon anyways and I fell fast asleep.

~ 

The next morning, I got up earlier than usual, At 5:30 am since I just couldn't sleep all night and checked my phone. 

Kita had texted me just 15 minutes ago, at 5. I'm not surprised that he's such an early bird. 

_Kita: 1 sounds great:D_

I put my phone back and got up. I pulled my legs together and huddled on my bed, as it was still pretty dark and I just needed to relax. 

I closed my eyes, breathed in, then out, then in again and opened them. I remembered that my regular bus doesn't come until 6:30, but there is an earlier one at 6, so I'll just take that one. 

As I got ready and packed everything, I headed out. 

As I walked toward the bus stop, my stomach grumbled. As I sat down on the bench I buried my face in my hands. Maybe going to school this early wasn't the best idea.   


"You know, covering your hands in your face might ruin all that makeup you wear." 

I looked up to see Suna standing right in front of me wearing a black crewneck over his uniform. 

For some reason, I looked up and smiled, 

"I'm not wearing any makeup right now. So jokes on you."

"You're not? So your eyelashes are actually THAT long." 

"Well, no one has ever really talked about my eyelashes before, but I guess so." 

I covered my face again as he turned around as we waited for the bus. 

Then my stomach grumbled. LOUDLY. 

I uncovered my hands just to take a peak to see if Rintaro heard that. 

He did, I assume since he was giving me a side eye look. 

"Are you actually going to judge me for not eating a decent breakfast?" 

I fiddled with my skirt. 

"You know, it's quiet common to not eat sometimes. Although, it's not common to not eat all the time. Well it is. But then that's considered an eating disorder which many people in our world today do have. It really does suck, but I hope one day people understand their value in their world truly doesn't come from how they look, but how they act. Did you know that every-" 

He interrupted me. "If I give you my whole grain bar will you shut up?" 

I shook my head, "You don't HAVE to do that. Then what will you eat?" 

My stomach rumbled again. 

He turned around to face me and from his backpack, he pulled out two bars. "I always have two on me." 

I was so happy he had two and graciously took one of the bars from his hand. 

"May god bless you." 

"I don't believe in God." He rebutted. 

"Then may whoever you believe in have faith in you." 

The rest of the day passed by with me being deeply into whatever task I was doing, so I don't remember the events of today and it really worked. Even after practice at Atsumu's house, his parents made me a dinner with all of my favorite meals from when I was younger, and Osamu, Atsumu, their parents, and I shared stories from when I was younger and they dropped me back home. 

The next few days passed by quickly and then came Saturday. 

My date with Kita was today. 


	11. C11

When I woke up, it was 9 am. I got up and took a shower then straightened my hair. I curled the front two pieces just a little though. I haven't gotten ready for a date in so long, that I was looking forward to this. But I had no clue what to wear. I go on Pintrest and see what's currently trending, and see an outfit that I do own. It was a pink corset top with light wash mom jeans, and some Nike air forces.

Wow Y/N, you really can dress nice when you want to. My curves were showing from all the right places, and with my hair down and little makeup I wore, I was ready to go on my date. I grabbed my little white purse and phone, to see that it was only 11:30, so I had an hour before I actually had to leave the house.

I ended up studying for half an hour at my kitchen table, until I heard a knock at the door.

Could Kita already be here?

I opened the door only to find Atsumu staring at his phone, finally looking up after I opened the door all the way.

I asked him "What are you doing here?"

"Well, we were on our way to go out somewhere, but before we left I wanted to check up on you to make sure your ready for your date." He said.

There was no one next to him. "Who's 'we'?"

"Oh he's parking my car right now. There he is!"

Out of the car came Suna.

Atsumu invited himself in and I waited for Suna to come in. Before he entered, he looked me up and down,

"I didn't know you could dress like that Y/N." he said with his deep and husky voice, then made his way to the sofa where Atsumu was.

It gave me small chills.

Atsumu looked at my textbook in my kitchen, which was literally five steps from the "living room" since my apartment wasn't big, and saw the book I was taking notes from.

"You're studying? On the day of your date Y/N?"

I played with my hands.

"I didn't know what else to do! I finished earlier than I expected. What else would I do."

"I don't know, gossip to all your girl-friends how excited you are about this date."

We made eye contact and laughed.

"What's so funny?" Suna asked, looking between the both of us.

"It's not as funny as it is sad, but little miss popular Y/N doesn't talk to that many people when she doesn't have to."

I responded back, "In my defense, it's better to have 1 or 2 close friends then none at all, so I don't complain."

"Tch Tch Tch Y/N, you should have girl friends for advice though."

"Like what? Like how to impress a guy based off of something I already don't know? No thank you. Besides, I don't want a Lindy 2.0 situation again. Lindy was my old close friend in high school."

"I know." Suna said.

The tension became awkward again as I stood in between my kitchen and living room and I rubbed my neck trying to find something to talk about, until Atsumu said, "Can I use the toilet?"

I nodded and he went since he already knew the way.

I looked at Suna, who was looking around the place.

"Do you want something to drink?"

He shook his head.

I rolled my eyes, "No thanks Y/N, thanks for asking though! THAT would be a better response you know."

He looked at me then looked back at the small shelf that was across from him and walked towards it. I followed him.

He took one picture from freshman year of high school, the class picture of everyone from that year.

"That was from my-"

"Freshman year of high school. I know."

"Weird. How did you know?"

He put the picture back then put his hands in his back pockets and made eye contact with me.

I was scared. I looked away. But then, he took his hand and took my chin so I'm forced to stare at him.

"You really don't remember Y/N?"

I looked in his eyes, trying to remember what he wants me to.

"Remember what, Suna?"

He scoffed. This time, he let go of my face which he was holding with such force, then moved a strand of my hair back and rubbed his thumb along my cheek.

"You're just such an idiot. Remember that. No matter how much you study for those tests, you're a real idiot."

He was still holding my face, getting a good look at it.

"I- I don't know how you want me to answer that." I whispered.

"There's nothing for you to say. Just shut up and stand still."

He took his hand and moved my face from the right, to the left.

"What's on my face?" I asked.

"You wore all of that makeup to look like a whore for him?"

"A WHAT."

I looked at the TV screen since I didn't have a mirror.

"Are you INSANE. YOU CAN'T JUST GO AROUND CALLING GIRLS A WH-"

"What are you two possibly fighting about now?" Atsumu had come out of the bathroom.

"Your friend Suna over here just cal-"

Suna put his arm over me, pulling me closer to him,

"Nothing." He responded.

I looked behind me at his face. He was smirking.

I looked back at Atsumu and shook my head.

"Nothing." I said.

Why didn't I tell Miya the truth? Why did I just easily agree with Suna?

I walked away from Miya and Rintaro, grabbed my phone and purse, and told them to get out because I was going to lock the door. They both left and I closed the door. I had gotten to the bus stop 10 minutes earlier, as I wanted both of them to leave after what happened.

That was the most random thing to have happened to me today. Actually, no this week. Actually, no this year.

How did Suna Rintarou change so fast?

I genuinely did not know how to feel by that. Was I okay with it? Was I not? I had no clue.

Y/N! YOU CAN'T BE THINKING THIS WAY YOU'RE ABOUT TO GO ON A DATE. I thought to myself.

Once I got to the cafe, called "Tokyo Cafe", even though we just weren't in Tokyo, we live in , which is in the Hyōgo Prefecture, and Kita was already waiting for me, wearing a maroon crewneck with beige jeans.

"Y/N you're early!"

I nodded, "Yeah by 15 minutes! How long were you waiting here for me?" I asked him, worried I kept him for too long.

"Oh, don't worry I only got here 5 minutes ago!"

"Oh okay, great!"

"You look great Y/N."

"And so do you Kita. Well, should we head in?"

He smiled and nodded. As I started walking, he took my hand. I looked down at the action then looked back at him.

"This time, I won't be letting go."

That warmed my heart. We walked inside of the cafe, which was absolutely breathtaking as it had show stars all over the ceiling, and the theme of the restaurant was extra-terrestrial. The seats were silver, and made so that there's a table, but a sofa that people share, so that you're not sitting across from each other, but next to each other. Kita ordered drinks for the both of us.

"I'll take one iced americano and the lady will take one.."

"I'll take an iced hot chocolate."

The waiter wrote down our drinks and showed us to a little area in the back of the restaurant where no one else but us were. We sat next to each other. His thigh touching my own. We were really close.

"So, how was your first week as our manager?" Kita asked me.

"I think it got better as the days went on! I'm excited for next week. I can't believe I'll be watching your first game!"

"Will you be cheering me on?"

"Of course! I'll be cheering all the boys on obviously."

And then I realized, he meant if I would be cheering him as in him only on.

"I'm glad, Y/N."

I played with my hands as we waited for our drinks. Usually, the silence was comfortable, but right now, it was just anything but that.

We made very small talk that never lasted long for a couple of minutes.

Like about the weather, or why iced hot chocolate was called ICED hot chocolate and laughed, but the conversations almost seemed forced.

When our drinks arrived, we both thanked the waiter and drank our drinks.

"This is really good!" Kita said, looking like a puppy once again. I found him really adorable in that moment.

But once again, I was bored. I needed to do something to break the tension.

"Can I taste it?" I asked him.

He nodded his head and gave me the drink.

I put it on the table and then took hold of his face, then kissed him.

"Hmm, I like it." I said.

I still had my own drink in my other hand, and took a sip of it.

Kita looked dazed, like what he looks like when he's cleaning the bathroom. I put my drink down and waved my hand toward his face.

"Kita. Kita? Did I break you? Oh no I'm sorry if that was too fa-"

He took my face with both of his hands and kissed me. Slowly and softly.

He laid me down on the sofa we were on, where no one was still around us, and moved my hair.

"I like this." He whispered.

And closed the gap in between us.

I nibbled on his his lower lip, wanting more, because honestly, I wasn't feeling anything right now, but this was helping him relax, and that's what mattered.

He kept his hands in my hair. Me doing the same. His hair was fluffy, but it was short so there wasn't too much that I could do with it.

I heard footsteps coming. It seemed from a corner of the shop. I patted on his back to get up. And as he got up quickly, I fixed my top which was extremely low because of what just happened, and fixed my hair and grabbed my drink again and looked at the place where I heard footsteps coming from.

It was Suna and Atsumu.


	12. C12

"What are you two doing here?" I asked.

"What were you two doing? Kita? Your collar is so crooked." Atsumu responded back to me.

I looked at his collar, it was slanted by a lot. Kita looked at me, totally blushing.

I laughed, "What happened is absolutely none of your business. Now tell me why you two are here?"

I crossed my legs. Wanting to hear a response. I looked at Atsumu, then at Suna, who of course, was looking down at his phone, and then looked back at Atsumu.

"Um. well Suna said he wanted coffee, and we were trying to find the cafe nearest to his place, but he said this one was better."

I looked back at Suna, who still did not take his eyes off his phone.

I was so lost. I said, "And you chose to come here? Out of any other locations? Here?"

It seemed almost like it wasn't just a mere coincidence. The timing was just too weird. Did they come here knowing that we would be here? Was this Atsumu's way of looking out for me? Because if it was, then clearly he doesn't know what personal space or boundaries mean.

I stood up taking my half finished drink with me.

"Well we're done here. Come on Kita, let's go."

Kita got up with his drink in his hand, and said, "See you two for practice on Monday?"

They both gave him a nod, Suna not taking his eyes off of his phone the whole encounter. Before I walked, I needed to make sure I was right.

"Wait, Kita you go first, I need to talk to Atsumu in private."

Suna finally looked up. When he did, our eyes locked for just a small instance. He then proceeded to look back at his phone again.

Atsumu and I walked to the other corner of the cafe, Suna still in our eyesight, but unable to hear us from where we were standing.

"Do you want to tell me why you two had to interrupt our date? You KNEW we were going to a cafe even if I didn't tell you which one."

"Y/N, do you remember what I said? Suna chose this place, not me. I followed along with his plan because I had nothing else to do. Nothing more, nothing less."

"Are you sure? I know you feel the need to protect me, but just showing up to our secluded area where things were just starting to get good too, that was so weird Atsumu."

"Get good? Did he touch you Y/N?"

"Well, yeah. What does it have to do with you?" I asked, confused why he was trying to get details of the date he interrupted.

"Just. Nothing. Nevermind. I'm coming over to your house tonight so we could talk about it. Does that sound okay with you?"

I looked back at Suna, just to make sure he wasn't hearing this conversation, because maybe it all was just a mere coincidence since I know he would rather be as far away from me as possible. I looked up to Atsumu, who was probably a good 7 inches taller than me, always wanting to know the details of my life like an older brother.

"I think I might be taking Kita to my place since it's nearer than his, but when he leaves, I'll text you to come. But DON'T bring Suna. I just feel comfortable telling you the details."

He nodded, and I left, not looking back at either of them. Kita was outside the cafe, and when I came outside, I saw him on his phone, but once he saw me, he put it in his back pocket.

"Y/N." He smiled.

"Well, that was surely unexpected what happened back there."

"You mean the kiss? Or the meeting with the boys?"

I laughed. "Both." I responded back.

As he laughed, I saw how his eyes closed into little crescents. His smile was so pretty.

I added, "Why don't you come over to my place for a while? I didn't know how long we were going to be at the cafe, but if you want, I'm totally okay with us chilling there."

He looked back at his phone which he took out of his pocket, and said, "Sure! I can spend about 2 more hours before I have to go back to my grandma's place. We have family coming over today so she needs my help to make her cook."

Wow. Kita was such a family-oriented man.

That must be fun, I thought.

"I think that's totally fine!"

So we started to walk towards our bus stop, and made small talk about what he would be making with his grandmother. Not that I really cared, but I just didn't want it to be silent again. We then reached my place about 25 minutes later.

**Atsumu's POV:**

After Y/N left, I went back to the corner Suna was standing in.

"Did you know that they were going to be here?" I asked him.

"Well, I assumed so. Why?" He didn't look up from whatever game on his phone he was playing.

I was confused. Why did he choose it if he knew they were going to be here?

"How? And Why?"

He looked up from his phone and made eye contact with me.

"How? Well I assumed Kita would be taking her to a cute place for a date spot by searching it up." He turned around his phone, showing a search engine with the search titled, _Cutest First-Date Spots_. He continued, "And why? Well I assumed you would want to see how Y/N is doing since you look out for her so much. And also, the coffee here is really good."

We went to the order station, Suna heading first, and I ordered one medium whipped caramel mocha, while Suna ordered one iced hot chocolate.

"Well, I do care for Y/N, and I appreciate that you thought about me worrying about her, but I know she's fine without me being over her ass about everything. Besides, she ALWAYS tells me when she's upset."

Suna looked up from the drink he was drinking.

"You sure about that?" He questioned me.

I looked at him with a confused look. "Well, I would assume so. Although now, she's been doing much better, a year after breaking up with her no-good SOB ex-boyfriend."

"I think a lot more in her life is going on than just her worrying about her ex, Miya."

He then took his phone and took a picture of me, flashing me in the eyes.

"What was that for?" I asked him.

He turned his phone around to show me the picture he had just took of my whipped cream mustache,

I yelled "HEY!" Making everyone turn their heads towards us.  
  


Suna smiled.

"I sent it in our volleyball group chat already."

I sighed. "What are we going to do with you, Suna?"

After hanging out in the cafe for about an hour, we went back and played video games for an hour more.

I then got a text from Y/N saying,

_He just left, if you want to come over._

I replied back,

_Be there in 5, just coming from Suna' s house._

I had always known since last year that Y/N and Suna lived close to each other, but I was surprised that they didn't know about each other until last year. Guess the world isn't THAT small.

I told Suna I was leaving to go to Y/N's house, and made my way by driving with my car, getting there in 2 minutes. 


	13. C13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: A little bit of sexual content

**Y/N's POV:**

The two hours Kita was here, his arm was around me in the small living room, as we watched _Snow White & The 7 Dwarves _together. It was the first thing we both saw on the TV that both of us didn't mind watching. There was no conversation, just the two of us watching a Disney movie with his arm over me.

I wanted more. Was that too desperate for me? I haven't gotten into any sexual activities for over a year, and I think I deserve something by now at least. But if I do something now, Kita might think I'm just a horny girl. I don't want him to think that way of me when he seems like this angel.

I played with my hands, while his arm was still around me, as we both focused on the movie. An hour and 45 minutes into the movie with no conversation, except maybe two or three about some of the dwarves or why the concept of the poison apple is so confusing, I put one of my hands on his thigh. Middle of his thigh.

He didn't look at me, still keeping his eyes on the movie.

That's a good thing, I think. It didn't bother him. I wasn't looking at him either.

I started to rub my hand up and down on his thigh for a minute, this time, he looked at me. He looked at my hand, which was slowly grazing his leg. Volleyball sure had made him have a nice build.

With his other hand, that was next to him and not over my shoulder, he took my hand which was touching his thigh, and held it. He was yet again looking back at the movie.

Well, it was worth a shot, but I guess nothing of the sorts would be happening today.

Once the movie was over, Kita checked his phone to see the time, it was 3:30, and said he would be leaving now.

As we stood up, I played with my hands again and said, "Well, that was fun."

He smiled and nodded. "I'd like to do that sometime again, Y/N. But maybe not now, since the tournament against Aoba Johsai is a big one, and then we have one against Karasuno the week after. They're a strong team all of a sudden."

I hummed in agreement. My small crush for Kita was still there. I mean how could it not be? He was adorable, and so caring, and so sweet.

Was he the best kisser? _No, Oikawa was._

Stop thinking that way Y/N. Oikawa is the absolute worst. Kita was an angel right in front of you. The captain of the Inarizaki Volleyball Team, their hope.

But my crush for him didn't grow at all after this date. It seemed as if I was the one trying to impress him. Not that I mind, but if we were supposed to have more dates like this in the future, I think I would get tired really quickly.

"Just to be clear, we aren't officially...dating or anything, right?" Kita asked me.

I'm glad we were thinking the same thing.

I smiled. "I think for now, you should focus on your responsibilities as a captain, and I should focus on my own responsibilities as a manager. We could go on some more dates in the future, but I don't think we have to have labels. Just "volleyball club members" and "friends" is fine for me!"

He nodded. I'm so thankful we were on the same page.

"Well, I'll be heading out now. I'll see you on Monday, right?"

"Yup." I nodded as I responded back. "Bye Kita!"

He waved his hand and I waved mine back.

I opened the door for him and he left. I waited for him to be a little bit out of view from me, and closed the door. I fell back on my sofa, covering my face.

Did I embarrass myself? I just hope I didn't make it uncomfortable. I sighed as I stared at the ceiling for a minute. I went into my room and changed into a plain white hoodie and gray sweatpants, took off all my makeup and tied my hair up into a messy ponytail with some strands sticking out. I watched an episode of the first season of Attack On Titan to take my mind off of things, then checked my phone.

No texts from Kita. I texted Atsumu that Kita had left, and in less than 20 minutes, he arrived at my place. I paused the next episode I was watching, and opened the door.

He entered himself into my apartment, taking off his shoes and sat down on the couch that was maybe not even 20 steps from the door.

I walked into the kitchen, there was an open space between the kitchen and from where Atsumu was sitting, so I asked,

"Ramen?"

He got all happy. "Yes, please" He said.

I heated up two bowls of ramen, then brought them to the small dining table which was next to the sofa. Atsumu got up and sat down in one chair while I sat across from him, bringing some chopsticks so we could eat.

As we ate, we talked about Osamu trying a new technique and it being really good and just other things that we usually talk about. Once we finished eating the ramen, I got up to throw away our bowls and then we both sat down on the small beige sofa in my living room. Him sitting on one end, me sitting on the other with my legs to my side, and him crossed legged. I scanned his face for a moment.

It was almost 5, and the sun was starting to set already.

"You know, you would look really good with an eyebrow or tongue piercing." I said out of the blue.

"That was completely random Y/N. Do you really think so?"

"I know so."

"Hm, maybe I'll think about getting an eyebrow piercing. But anyways, tell me what happened before I got there."

I played with the strings of my hoodie as I avoided eye contact with Atsumu.

"Well, we weren't really talking, as much as we were, you know...kissing...until you two idiots had to show up and ruin it."

"So THAT'S why your boobs were hanging so low out of your top."

I sat up straight,

"HUH? Why were you even paying attention to my boobs in the first place?"

"Y/N I'm literally a guy, I literally pay attention to every female who I come into contact with. I didn't think I would have to clarify that."

I nodded my head as if I understood.

"Please get that weird straight male energy out of my way please."

He laughed. I guess he thought I was joking.

But I continued my story, "But the weird part was, when we got home, he just wanted to watch Snow White. You know, which is fine with me, it's just that I assumed we might've finished what we left, or gotten things a little hotter and heavier."

"Then again, Y/N, it was only your first date. Not everyone is comfortable with things like that so quickly. I know that thanks to lots of experience, obviously."

What Atsumu was saying was actually making a lot of sense. I never thought about it that way.

I slapped my head. "Ugh, I can't believe I'm about to say this. But, you're right. Not everyone wants to just get straight to things so quickly. I guess it's because it took me so long with Oikawa, that I wanted to try something new."

Truth is, I liked the rush of things with Kita. But, maybe that's the only thing I really enjoyed from our date. And his company, of course.

"So you guys didn't do ANYTHING at your place?"

I shook my head and scooted a seat closer to Atsumu so that our legs were touching. I took his arm, which was resting over the sofa, and put it over my shoulders.

"This is what we did the whole time for those two hours. Until I decided to try this."

I took my hand and gently placed my hand on Atsumu's thigh, running it up and down, so I could show him what I tried to do with Kita. Maybe he could tell me if what I did just wasn't something guys liked, or if it may have been a mistake to do on Kita and I's date.

"Would this be considered moving too fast?"

"Y/- Y/N. What are you doing?"

I was looking at where my hand was, determining whether or not it was a mistake to do the same thing to Kita, until I looked up to see Atsumu looking at me in a way I've never seen him look at me.

"What? Do you think he hated that?"

He was still looking at me, until he got up and said,

"Before I answer, I need a second. Let me go to the bathroom real quickly."

He got up and walked towards the bathroom which was a simple left from the kitchen.

**Atsumu's POV**

While Y/N was telling me what Kita and her did on her date back after they got to their place. She came closer to me all of a sudden and took my arm and put it around her own.

All of a sudden, my heart fastened. Usually, I'm the one making moves on girls, but not the other way around.

But with Y/N, this was different.

She then placed her small, little hand on my leg, and started moving her hands with her slender fingers, up, then down.

Something was happening to me.

"Y- Y/N. What are you doing?" I said that out loud on accident.

"What? Do you think he hated that?"

I looked at her in a way I've never seen her before.

No, that's a lie. Everyone that we're friends with have always thought we were a couple of sorts, as we never left each other's side when we were together. Y/N was my best friend, and I was hers. But watching her right then, I wanted to know how far her hand would go upwards.

Atsumu, she's your friend, she's like a SISTER.

I stood up immediately, needing to be anywhere but there in the moment.

I headed to the bathroom and locked the door.

I put my head on the back of the door and breathed in and out really quickly.

Y/N had looked pretty tempting just now.

I know she only did that with me so easily because she doesn't think anything of me in a "romantic sense", but I don't think of her in that way either, I'm sure of that.

Then why did my mind automatically go to wanting to see her on top of me, without that hoodie or sweats of hers?

I took off my pants in the bathroom, and quickly took off my boxers to let my thing hang out for a second. It was PAINFULLY hard right now. Just imagining Y/N there. On top of it. With her smile that always was looking for challenges to come her way. I couldn't stand it.

I tightened my fist and began to pump away for a minute. Something to ease the tension I was feeling. 

I really needed to hook up with someone fast if I was thinking of Y/N out of all people. The high didn't last long at all, which was a good thing because I just could not let myself think so sinfully about Y/N. I felt something in my throat, but urged myself to keep it in.

I pulled up my pants and washed my hands.

"Well, I could tell you that I'm pretty sure he didn't like it."

Because sure as hell I didn't. It made me think things I've never thought before.

I saw Y/N make a straight line with her mouth.

"Oh." Was all she could say. 


	14. C14

**Y/N's POV:**

Once Atsumu came out of the bathroom, he stood in front of me and said, "Well, I could tell you that I'm pretty sure he didn't like it."

"Oh." So was Kita uncomfortable? Did I make Shinsuke find me less attractive? Things weren't looking good for me, were they.

"How did you kiss him?" He asked me.

I looked up at Atsumu, who had a serious look on his face.

"What?"

"I mean, was he a good kisser? Were you a bad kisser?"

I shrugged my shoulders and hugged myself.

"I don't know. The only other person I've kissed besides Kita was, well, Tōru. I wouldn't know. He was more obligated to tell me that I was good, considering that we dated and all."

"Well, why don't you show me?" He suggested.

I gave him a confused look. "Huh?"

While I was still sitting on the couch, he got down on his knees, so our faces were leveled with each other.

Atsumu said, "Why don't you let me be the judge of that?"

I pursed my lips into a line and looked into his eyes. This guy was actually SO funny. I started laughing hysterically.

"ATSUMU! Man, you sure know how to make me laugh don't you."

I continued laughing, while he just looked at me.

"What Y/N? I'm being serious. Come on, it's not like we have feelings for each other, it's just so I can let you know if you screwed up or not."

I stopped laughing and looked at him with a quizzical face.

"It would be like kissing a family member, Atsumu." I said.

"Well, think of it that way but I'm only saying it for your own benefit. I mean, we're best friends, it's pretty normal to help each other out when we need to."

I put my hands on each side of the sofa.

"I mean, I guess you're right."

Atsumu has been there for me since childhood. He was the person I trusted most in this world, even though I never told him the majority of what happened in my life, he was still the most loyal person I knew. I never found it easy to open up to anyone, and I still don't, but if I were to open up to someone, it would probably be him, we just never found the need to talk about these things though.

I looked at his lips, which were unintentionally slightly parted. They were so full, it would be great to try this experiment, I guess.

I mentioned, "But, you can't tell anyone. They're going to think we're actually a thing. I don't want that. Besides, even though I might not be a thing with Kita, he should never find out about this, it's sort of..well embarrassing if you think about it."

He looked down and chuckled then grinned.

"Y/N, I was only kidding."

Oh. Well, that's embarrassing.

I got up and smacked his head.

"THEN WHY WOULD YOU KEEP THE JOKE RUNNING YOU IDIOT."

He fell backwards and laughed out loud.

"Y/N YOU THINK I WOULD ACTUALLY WANT TO KISS YOU?"

I pouted. "Well, you said it was to help me, and I thought it actually might be." I crossed my arms. "Besides, I've heard about best friends who actually do kiss to help each other become better, so I thought we would try that, but I guess not." I felt myself blushing. I was so embarrassed.

I walked over to the door of my apartment, opened it, and pointed out. "Leave." I said.

He couldn't stop laughing. I was still red. He walked over to me, then closed the door with his left arm, but kept it there, and then he walked and stood right in front of me, almost hovering over me. Was I tripping? Or, was that his heartbeat that was so fast?

He took his right hand, and held my face. I looked at him.

"A- Atsumu?"

His face came closer to mine. Closer. And closer. When his lips were less than a centimeter away from mine, his face tilted right, tilting my own face left, I saw his eyes, they were closed. I closed my own.

And then, I felt a set of lips touch my forehead.

I opened my eyes. Atsumu took me into a big hug.

"You know, I only want you to be happy, Y/N. I don't want to do something which one of us would regret. I like our friendship the way it is."

I hugged him back. "I like the way we are now too, Atsumu."

"I'm sorry for scaring you. I'll try not to make jokes like that again."

I nodded my head into his shoulder. "It's okay. I guess it was pretty funny."

He let go of me after a couple of more seconds, and opened the door and made his way out. He stopped for a second with one foot out the door and the other in.

"Besides, you were always easy to fluster." He grinned and went out the door, closing it as he left.

I stared at the door.

Well, that was weird. I sat back down on the sofa and continued to watch some anime. The day came to an end just like that.

I had fallen asleep on my couch at midnight, and woke up the next day at 10 in the morning.

Still in my sweats and hoodie, I got up and went to the bathroom to freshen up, then went to the kitchen and grabbed a bagel from the pantry, noting that I would have to go shopping for some food later this week.

Today also meant the new episode of Attack On Titan would be coming out at 12. I was SO excited and couldn't wait to see what would happen.

For an hour and a half, I sat down and took out my laptop that Inarizaki provides me and studied for my English, Math, and Finance class and took notes from the resources my teachers had given me.

At 11:30, I decided to look over the spreadsheet to look at the rotation of the boy's positions for the game this coming Saturday.

By the time it was 11:55, I microwaved some popcorn, ready to start watching the new episode that was coming out in five minutes on my TV. When I grabbed a big red bowl and put all the popcorn inside of it, I heard the door knock from the kitchen.

Who could that be?

I grabbed my bowl of popcorn with one hand, and opened my door.

While I was looking like I had just woken up, with a messy ponytail and my hoodie and sweats still on, with his usual black hoodie and black sweatpants, stood Suna Rintaro, outside of my apartment. 


	15. C15

"Suna? What are you doing here?"

He walked into my house saying nothing and sitting at the edge of the far end of the couch. He spread his legs and put both of his arms around the sofa and rolled his head, cracking his neck.

"My internet went out and I know you watch this show. So play it."

I closed my door and walked towards him, standing right in front of him.

"You know you can't just barge into someone's house that you aren't even close to, right?"

"Okay. If you won't play it, then I will."

I put my bowl of popcorn down on the table next to the sofa, and picked up the remote which was on the opposite side of the couch, as he scooted across and went for the remote.

"You have to say, please."

"Yeah, that's not happening." He said.

"You're so stubborn, I hope you know that. But since I can't miss this. You can watch just this once."

I picked up my popcorn and sat down crossed-legged on the opposite side of Rintaro as I pressed play on the remote.

As the episode began, I looked at Suna, sitting in the position he was sitting in before. His legs spread apart from each other.

It was a good place for me to bob my head in between his legs as he held my hair and-

Y/N. Why are you so goddamn horny?

I looked back at the screen and stuffed my face with popcorn. I could not think these things about someone I barely knew.

A couple of minutes later, as the theme song was playing, Suna said,

"Could you chew any louder?"

I looked at him looking at me with those cold, and monotone, green eyes of his.

"You know, if you want some, you can just ask."

I took a small handful and threw it at him. He closed his eyes then opened them.

"What was the fucking point of that?" He said, as he popped popcorn in his mouth that had fallen onto his hoodie.

"I don't know. I just felt like you should shut up for a second so I could watch. Now let me watch." I responded back.

I was proud of myself for doing that.

While watching Suna would ask me things like, "How could you like Eren?" Or "Wait, do you think Zeke might actually support them?" and we talked so easily to each other.

Halfway into the show, Suna scooted closer to me, not so close that our legs were touching, but close enough that I could take a good look at his side profile as he grabbed some popcorn from my bowl.

His cheekbones were so high, and his jawline was so sharp, yet round at the same time. As he chewed on the popcorn, his nose would cutely move as well.

"Why are you staring at me?" He asked in his usual deep and unbothered voice, while still looking at the screen.

My eyes widened. I didn't know I was staring at him.

He just always seemed so familiar to me.

"No reason, I'm just wondering why I feel like we've seen each other before, like outside of volleyball."

He finally looked at me. But this time, his eyes seemed almost sad.

We stared at each other until we heard Eren scream then both turned our head to see what happened.

Someone was dying in the show, nothing new, but this one caught both of our eyes.

We continued to watch the rest of the episode, which was almost over by the time we looked at the screen at the same time.

The bowl of popcorn had finished, and I got up to go wash my hands and put the bowl in the sink. Suna took out his phone and stayed on the couch.

I did not know if I should ask him to leave, since the episode was over, or let him stay. It's not like I was doing anything today.

When I came back into the living room after drying my hands with a towel in the kitchen, I looked at my shelf which was close to the door of my home. Suna was back in the corner of the sofa.

"Yesterday, you were looking at this picture." I picked up the freshman class picture and gave it a good look. "How come?"

He turned off his phone, looked up, then put it in his pocket.

"You're a total fake." Is what he said.

I looked up to him, who was now sitting with his legs closed, while one arm rested on the sofa's arm, his other hand was resting on his face, almost as if he was bored.

Those words hurt me. I brought the picture and sat down next to him.

I looked at the frame again, then him. I looked back at the frame and looked at everyone individually.

And then, I saw a guy, wearing some shorts that looked torn, and a shirt with a bunch of stains on it, being too tight on his body. Separated from the rest of the class, with long hair, and eyes, that looked like they belonged to a feline.

His body threw me off, as if what I think is right, that boy was now the man sitting in front of me.

I pointed at the boy in the picture, when Suna was staring at the floor in front of him, he then looked at my finger, which was pointing at the boy who looks completely different now.

He then chuckled. But it was sarcastic.

"It took you this long to realize? How genuinely dumb are you?"

Why did he seem so familiar?

I didn't remember talking to him in school.

Does that mean he knew about the guy I dated? It was the talk of the school for the first year.

"I- I'm so sorry Suna. I didn't even know you went to the same high school as me. But I know for a fact that we didn't have any classes together."

Suna never stopped looking at the picture.

"That's true. We didn't. But I hope you know, even though you may act like you're such a goddess, I know deep down, that it's an act. I hate you for it, Y/N. I find it disgusting. You're disgusting."

I looked at him, he was a little blurry.

Was I seriously crying? In front of Suna? Again?

When I blinked my eyes to clear my vision, I saw Suna looking at me, his eyes filled with pure disgust, and I could tell, I was impulsive to him.

He got up and left my apartment. Closing the door so loudly, that if my neighbors weren't awake, that would've woken them up.

I was alone. Again. No one at my side. The tears started to come, endlessly and teardrops on the sofa next to me, as I huddled on the corner of the couch.

The reason I was crying was not because Suna had called me disgusting. It was because he was right.

I was a fake.

The reason I felt the need to be so nice or quirky to so many people around me, was because I felt like they needed it. But then I realized as I continued to sob, maybe me being nice wasn't what people needed, but I was always scared to do what I wanted to do, or scared to say what I wanted to say, and I thought these people around me who are in pain, never deserved any of it. Of course they don't.

But the main reason I felt the need to help these people, was because I didn't know how to help myself.

And somehow, Suna knew that.

I stayed in the corner until 6. I had spent almost five hours staring off into space, and thinking of my past with whatever was playing on the TV in the background.

I wish mom was here, so I could talk to her about everything I was feeling.

I thought back to how Oikawa bullied SO many kids in our grade.

I then remembered the last kid he bullied. No one had heard from him again. They had never even told me their name. But I remembered how they felt the need to smoke to get away from their problems. It was either the day before or after my own mother's day to end her life had come.

Wait. That same long hair, thinking back, those eyes.

I had not remembered that I had talked Suna out of smoking.

Did he resent me for it?

I needed to go see him right now.

He thinks that I never cared about that kid who was crying in the corner because of something terrible going on in his life.

Yet, that same kid had changed my life after I had left him, once he had finished crying. 


	16. C16

_~ Flashback to Y/N's freshman year~_

Once the little boy had finished crying, I headed to the bus stop.

When my mom had died, 5 years before then, I had only actually cried once about it. My head couldn't wrap around the events that occurred until I was 11. Even when I did realize what had happened, I never blamed my mom.

Not even once. She had enough of this world, and chose to give up. I pitied her, if anything. I missed her more and more everyday, and rehab probably do not make her happy.

But then, I saw this little boy, who cried into my shoulders. It reminded me of the one time I had cried because of my mom. It unlocked a feeling I didn't feel in a long time.

I was scared. Scared of being alone. Yet here I was, sitting on a bus bench in the freezing cold by myself, and my uniform not being able to cover me probably to give me warmth, as it was a skirt.

I was cold, and afraid. I always was, I could never admit it until I saw the boy, it was as if I stopped him from doing something he would regret.

Something I could never do for Mom.

I did not know the boys name, and never got around to learning it, even though I wanted to, but, I did know that there was a "cat-boy" in another class.

I went to the attendance office a week later, to find out his name, since no one in his class even knew his name too, and I was never able to see that class's teacher.

How lonely the boy must've been.

An office member told me,

"Ah, there was a boy who had moved to America just yesterday, Y/N. His name was Rin-"

"Y/N! I was looking for you!" Oikawa came into the school's attendance office.

"Hey Tōru. Wait give me a second let me just check something out real quick."

I turned to look back at the lady who was on the computer who was about to tell me his name, but she had taken a phone call and opened her eyes wide. She covered a part of the phone and said, "I'm sorry, please give me a second something just came up."

She had gotten up after transferring the call to go to another office, I assumed something business-wise had happened that had to be dealt with as soon as possible.

But, he had moved to America.

Oikawa said, "Come on, you know when people sometimes say a minute, they mean way more than that. You can come back tomorrow if you want, but we need to go see the new episode of Attack on Titan together."

I looked at Oikawa and nodded. If that boy was gone, there was no reason for me to learn his name now, since he was gone.

Not that I knew him, but somehow, he had also left me like other people in my life.

_~ back to present ~_

I put on the first shoes I saw, which were just a pair of nikes, and grabbed my phone and ran out of the door of my apartment. I covered my head, as it was raining, hard.

As it was pouring, I ran. I know the direction Suna lived in since we would get off at the same stop. I just didn't know where he actually lived, or if he still lived with his parents. I didn't know anything.

As soon as I made a right, I saw the only complex in the area,and they were tiny condos, as there were trees everywhere else. There was nowhere for me to go hide under the rain from, so I stood right outside the building.

I yelled.

"SUNA!" as loud as I could.

From where I was standing, those apartments looked about to be the same size as my own, not very big, but enough to have everything you need.

I took out my phone from the pocket of my hoodie, and texted Suna, who's number I had thanks to volleyball.

I called him. After two rings, the call declined. I called him again. This time the call declined after one ring,

I texted him.

_I'm outside. Please listen to me._

Delivered.

2 minutes later, I saw he had read the chat.

I put my phone back in my pocket, and used my hands to cover myself from the rain. Maybe it would be faster to go knocking on every condo until one of them turns out to be Suna, I thought.

Until I saw a figure appear out of a condo, he had an umbrella in his hand, looking at where I was standing. I ran towards the silhouette, and it was Suna.

"It was you. You had moved to America. I tried looking for you, but I never got to find you."

"Why would you have looked for me." He didn't say it as a question, but more as a statement. As if what I said, I did not actually mean them.

But I did.

I heard thunder in the back and jumped a little.

"I never got to thank you. You helped take my mind off of other things. But you also taught me that day, that it's okay to be sad, and show it."

His stone-cold facial expression did not change.

He threw the umbrella to the side, and walked up to me. Grabbing my neck by both of his hands.

"You don't even know how much you hurt me. You hoe."

I never failed to look away from him. I couldn't. I needed him to look at me and know everything I said, I was meaning them.

"Wh- What did I do?" I asked him.

He let go of one of his hands, one of them still around my throat, and laughed. Another sarcastic laugh.

"What did you do? You immediately went to the man who ruined my life and sucked his fucking cock. You were nothing but a desperate bitch."

"N- No. I wasn't." I answered back. All of these emotions I was feeling. They were too intense.

"You went to a manipulative prick, because you just wanted to satisfy your own fucking needs, not giving an actual shit about anyone else, and acted like you cared. Did you know he did this to me?"

He pulled up his hoodie a little bit, and forced me to look down as he held my neck. I could see his stomach, and to the side, I saw a small little black mark. It seemed permanent.

With the hand that he held my throat, he pushed me back, letting me go and I fell on my ass. I couldn't control myself.

"BUT I DO FUCKING CARE. I WANTED TO SEE YOU AGAIN. I WANTED OIKAWA TO APOLOGIZE TO EVERYONE HE HURT. WHICH HE DID END UP DOING BUT YOU HAD LEFT BY THEN. You helped me grow, Suna." I put my head into my knees, trying to calm myself down.

He came over to where I was sitting, and looked at me, once I saw, I noticed the rage in his eyes lighter, as he saw my face, not being able to notice if it was the rain or tears on my face, and reached out his hand to help me get up.

I took it, feeling his warm hand take my cold, wet one.

I got up and let go of his hand. I took his face with my two hands. So he could look into my eyes as I said my next words.

"I am so, so fucking sorry, Suna." He avoided eye contact with me, looking at a spot on the ground as it rained hard. "Look at me, please." I need him to know. After a pause, as the rain being the only sound between us, he looked at me. "I know for a fact, that dating Oikawa, was the worst decision I ever made in my life. I wish I hadn't fallen for his lies. I was stupid. I was gullible. I was lonely. But the words I said to you then, I never forgot them. I never forgot our brief encounter. I hated seeing you cry, but you let it out. I wished right then, that I could've done the same all those years ago with my mom. I'm so sorry he did that to you. After everything, you taught me that it's okay, to not be okay."

I saw Suna's eyes. I thought for a brief moment, that he might've been crying too, but I know for a fact it was either my own tears, or the heavy rain, I think. The next thing I knew scared me more.

Suna, being as tall as he is, took me into a big hug, while my hands were on his chest, not being able to hug him back since he held me with such strength.

We stayed like that for a minute, rekindling our past memory that we shared, feeling that pain we once felt at the same time.

I was outgoing, loud, and social, he was introverted, quiet, and distant, yet that one day in high school, we had shared together.

The hug we were in now, was just like the hug I had given him then.

I cried into his chest, nuzzling my face into his hoodie, feeling everything I felt wash away with the rain.

"It's okay, Y/N. It's not your fault. It's okay." He brushed my hair with his hand, patting it and letting me cry.

It reminded me of those nights where I was terrified, crawling into Mom's room. I cried even harder, my hands in fists over his chest still, as we stood there in the rain, he listened to my small cries.

"I miss her." I whispered.

"I know you do." He said.

We stood there for ten minutes, in each other's arms. I had eventually wrapped my arms around him.

"Thank you." I whispered again.

I felt him nod on my head.

He let go, and started walking back towards his condo. He didn't look back at me. He got his umbrella that he had thrown to the side, and opened his door. He took a step in and turned around and said, "Come inside for a second."

I nodded my head, I was freezing.

I quickly ran over and went inside of his home.

It was exactly how I imagined it to be. It was dimly lit, and he left me in his living room which had a black leather sofa, unlike my old beige couch. He told me to follow him, and we went inside of his room.

This was not how I imagined it though. His closet's door was a full mirror, and his bed was huge, with light brown comforters on a white bed sheet. He had posters of some of his favorite animes, like _Bungou Stray Dogs, Hunter X Hunter,_ and of course, _Attack On Titan_ was there too. I looked at them. While I did, apparently Suna had taken off his hoodie, and when I turned around, I turned back around to look at the posters.

From the side of my eye, I saw him going through a drawer in his closet, and he took out yet another black hoodie, and put it on. He then took out another hoodie, which was navy green and came up to me and gave it to me.

"Thank you." I said.

"Change." He responded.

"I- In front of you?" 


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FOR MY LOVERS WHO R WONDERING ABOUT A NSFW PORTION, I'll be delivering soon don't you even worry. (I'll let you guys know in advance because I know some are not comfortable with these things and that's 100% understandable!)

Suna's eyes widened when I said that. Was he....blushing?

He put his hands in his back pockets of his jeans.

"You're such an idiot Y/N. I'm going to go out of my room so you can change."

I sighed out of relief.

"That scared me." I said.

He walked up, closer to me, "And why should that scare you?"

I can definitely feel my cheeks heating up. With my hoodie in my hand I opened his door and pushed him out of his room then closed it.

I quickly took off my hoodie which I had on right now, which was soaking wet and put on Suna's green one. I looked in his mirror. It was huge on me. Maybe a size or two larger. My hands were having a hard time coming out of the sleeves since the hoodie was that big. But it was warm, and better than what I had on before.

Although my sweatpants were still soaking, I was not going to ask him for a pair of those. I took out my ponytail to see what the humidity had done to my hair. It was just wet, looking as if I had come out of the shower. I didn't bother putting it back into a ponytail or anything, and came outside. Suna was waiting outside of the room.

He looked me up and down, then looked back up to me then smiled. It was the same smile I had seen that day on the bus.

"What? Do I look weird?" I asked Suna.

He shook his head. "You look cute." 

I avoided eye contact with him. I don't know why one minute, he;ll be a total asshole, but the next minute, he'll act like this.

I scratched the back of my head, "Well, I think I'll be going now, thank you for the hoodie, I'll wash it and give it back to you."

His smile vanished just like that.

"You're leaving? You do know it's still raining like crazy outside right? Y/N, you're still shivering. You can't go home yet."

"I'm sure I can handle it. It's not a far walk."

He grabbed my arm forcefully, and pulled me to his living room, and made me sit down on the sofa. He was right in front of me. 

"You stay here until I tell you to leave."

There was no use in fighting this guy. He's as stubborn as ever.

"Okay 'master'." I said sarcastically as I rolled my eyes.

"What did you just say?" Suna straightened his back, eyes wider than usual, taken aback by my words.

Oh, did he take it the wrong way.

I layed down into the seat. "Get your mind out of the gutter, Rintaro. I'm listening to you already aren't I?"

He turned away from me then left the room.

I was alone for 5 minutes, as I stared out into the window next to his sofa, it was a nice view. The trees made almost a fence around his condo, and the farther you looked, you could see some of Japan's prettiest towers in our area.

"Y/N. Come here." Suna said loud enough for me to hear from wherever he was.

I got up and followed his voice. I decided to put my hood of Suna's hoodie up to cover my messy hair. I got to the kitchen, where I saw two bowls of chicken soup laying.

"What's this?" I was curious.

With his hands in his back pockets, he answered, "Well, if you can see, you can tell that there's a bowl of soup in front of you. It had just rained and we were there for a while. Now drink it."

I smiled. No one had really done something this nice for me in a long time. I had felt acknowledged.

I took a seat, as Suna sat down across from me, eyeing his soup.

I looked at the soup lying in front of me. It smelled really good.

"Did you make this?"

"Does it look like I have a personal chef hiding somewhere in my house?" He spoke back.

I laughed. Sometimes, his comebacks were so bad, that they were funny.

"It smells good."

"Wait until you taste it." Suna said.

I took the spoon that was next to the bowl, and blew on the soup as I saw smoke coming from it. I took a spoonful of the soup. Suna was right, it tasted really good.

"This is actually, REALLY good. Who taught you to make it?"

As Suna took his own spoonfuls of soup, he said, "My mom taught me back when I was younger."

"Do you live with anyone else?"

He shook his head, his eyes on his soup. "I live alone." He said.

"Where do your parents live?"

"They live in America, with my older brother."

I took another big spoonful of his soup, I couldn't get enough.

"You should show me the recipe, I really like it. But didn't you live in America for a couple of years? What was it like?" I asked in anticipation.

"It was fine, I guess."

"Just fine? Really now. I would assume it would be really fun with hollywood and all those theme parks there."

"Not like I could've afforded to go." He said as he took another spoonful. He then paused as he went for another bite and looked at the table. I think he said that without thinking.

I nodded my head, thinking of what to say. "I really like where you live right now." I looked around the kitchen we were sitting in. All of the walls in this condo were a crimson red color, it was really nice. Not what I expect a 20 year old guy to be living in, on his own.

"Thanks, my parents used to live here with me. The room I own used to be theirs."

That was the only room I saw in this condo, that probably meant that Suna either slept in that room, or slept out in the living room, though I thought I shouldn't ask.

"You cleaned this place up by yourself, didn't you?" As I looked around, I can tell that there were slight renovations, as some parts of the wall seemed newer than others.

"You know, you talk a lot."

We were both almost finished with our soups.

"So I've heard." I said. I took the bowl to my mouth to finish up the soup Suna had made, and put the bowl down.

I burped really loudly. Suna looked at me, but not with his usual dead face, but almost, shocked.

I covered my mouth. Then uncovered it. "What? Never heard someone burp before?"

Suna looked at his own bowl, then took it up to his mouth and finished it in one go. He wiped his mouth after placing the bowl down, and put both of his hands on the edge of the table.

He burped even louder than I did. I looked at him in shock, as she wasn't embarrassed, but found it more entertaining.

We both pursed our lips, and then started laughing out loud.

That was the first time I heard Suna laugh, and it was even more intoxicating than his smile.

I could stop but stare at him.

As he laughed, he looked at me.

"What?" He said with a smile.

I shook my head. "Nothing. Here, give me the bowls. I'll put them back."

Once I put the bowls in the sink, we both sat down back in the living room, on opposite sides, and talked more about what his life in America was like, and it was fine. He had told me it was better than the circumstances for him than in Japan at least.

"I haven't talked this much in so long." He told me.

"Well, I haven't met someone so easy to talk to yet so hard to talk in so long."

"Somehow, that's a statement I also agree with for you."

I laughed. When I looked up, he was looking at me. The disgust he once had for me, it was not there anymore. His green eyes were always so nice to look at. I took my hands and crawled over the sofa to him. My hands were next to his leg, as he was sitting the same way from when he had come over this morning with his legs spread and arms relaxed on top of the sofa.

"Do you remember, when I had told you that your eyes were green?"

He nodded, not taking his eyes off of me.

"It's because they had reminded me of that boy I had seen with the box of cigarettes in the abandoned classroom."


	18. C18

Suna looked at me with his eyebrows after I said that.

He took his hand slowly, then put it on my face, as I still was in a catlike position on the sofa. He rubbed his thumb gently across my cheek.

I leaned into his touch. I felt safe here. I didn't feel as lonely as I usually did.

I closed my eyes, and slowly opened them, to see Suna smiling at me. He closed his eyes and came closer to me. I didn't stop him.

Until I realized that I also just went on a date with his teammate just yesterday. Suna didn't have any actual feelings for me, this was because we were just two people who were grateful for each other's company.

I pulled myself back. I needed to learn self-control.

I looked out the window, to see that it had stopped raining. "Well, I guess I can go now. Thank you for all of this."

Suna looked at me with confusion. "Leave? Now?"

I nodded.

He looked out to see it had stopped raining, and said, "Okay. Get out then."

I stood up and made my way toward the door, turned around to take one last look at Suna, who had already left his living room and was probably in his room.

I went home.

Y/N, did you just reject Suna?

Well, it's not like we did anything, we were not even friends until a couple of hours ago. Well, maybe we were never friends. I have no clue.

I am so confused about my feelings.

I laid down on my bed, and yelled into a pillow.

You had just missed your chance to act on your thoughts. Why are you so dumb?

Well, maybe you're not. You didn't know you're feelings, so you stopping whatever was about to happen gave both you and him time to reflect on our actions.

Even though the actions never happened.

I put the blanket over my body, and fell fast asleep, since that was the only way I could forget about everything.

Oh my god, tomorrow, I would have to see Atsumu after our weird encounter, act normal around Kita, and pretend nothing happened with Suna.

I could do this, I think.

~

As I woke up the next morning at 5:45, I realized I was still wearing Suna's hoodie. My sweatpants which were wet before, were now dry and wrinkled.

As I took off the hoodie, I put it into the laundry basket that I would bring downstairs to the laundry room in our building later, and took off my sweatpants and got in the shower.

The hot water felt nice on my skin, and my hair felt much cleaner than it did as it got soaked by the rain.

Then I remembered how Suna held me as it poured, with the thunder in the background.

I got goosebumps in the shower, the being held-in-the-rain was something I had never experienced.

But I definitely wanted to experience it again.

As I continued to clean myself, I rubbed soap along my thighs and thought back to what had happened when I had done that to Kita.

Then I remembered how I did not do that to Suna, obviously, but for a brief second, I had wondered what Suna would've looked like if I was below him, playing with his-

Maybe Suna was right and I really was desperate for cock.

I chuckled at myself in the shower.

It's not like I had done the deed with Oikawa, as we did not.

In senior year, Tōru was just good at eating out my pus-

I think we're clean enough to get out of the shower now Y/N.

Once I put on my school uniform and packed my volleyball bag, I ate a bowl of cereal, texted my dad since I have not communicated with him in a while, and made my way towards the bus stop.

I imagined that Suna was probably at school since he took the earlier bus, and my suspicions were confirmed once I saw that he in fact was not on the 6:30 am bus.

When I got to school, I decided to go to the bathroom that Kita and I had cleaned, not to my surprise, he was already there spraying the wall, wearing his uniform with the volleyball team's windbreaker on top.

I leaned on the door. "Cleaning again?"

He turned around.

"Y/N." He smiled as he said my name.

I returned the smile.

"Need any help?"

He took out another rag from his bag and said, "If you don't mind."

I shook my head. "I could never mind if it was you asking me."

As I stood next to him, we talked about how our day was yesterday. I had told him I just stayed home watching TV.

He told me about how his family gathering had gone, and talked about his little 10 year-old-cousins with such a smile on his face.

I listened as I continued to clean.

We cleaned for about 20 minutes and continued to make little conversation about the big match coming up that he could not wait for.

As we washed our hands after putting the supplies back in his bag, Kita took my hand as we exited the bathroom.

"What happened to just being friends?" I asked him out of confusion.

"Can friends not hold hands like this?" He said with a child-like smile.

I looked at our hands again then back at him. He walked me halfway to where my first class was about to start, and then looked behind him to see if anyone was looking our way, then quickly kissed my cheek.

He let go of my hand and walked back towards the direction we came from, but looked back to wave bye to me.

I waved back, returning a grin.

As I turned to walk into my classroom, I saw Atsumu with his arms crossed, standing a few feet in front of me.  
"Good morning Sumu." I said to him as I tilted my head and smiled. I felt good after that little moment with Kita. Who knew cleaning was so calming?

He nodded his head and walked into the classroom before me. That was strange of him. "Whoa whoa whoa. Not so fast." I took hold of his wrist and pulled him back out of the classroom. "First of all, you're usually the one initiating the hi's or hello's, but even if it is me, I know for a fact I get a response only Miya Atsumu would give me."

"I just wasn't feeling it, Y/N."

"Garden. Now." I commanded him.

"But what about class?"

"And what if we're late? I'll give you my notes that I took in advance. There's clearly something wrong with you, Miya."

He rolled his eyes as I pulled him out of our class building to our little area, near the tiny fountain.

When we got there, Suna was leaving from that same area.

Our eyes locked for a second, then Suna looked at Atsumu, who I was still pulling on.

"Suna!" Atsumu said. He continued, "Were you skipping class?"

He shook his head. "No, I was just going to be a little late."

He looked back at me, I could not tell what expression he was showing me, but I ignored it, as Atsumu was clearly frustrated about something.

When we sat down, Atsumu was kicking the ground.

"So, what's wrong?"

He then turned to face me and shrugged his shoulders then scratched his neck.

"I don't know, Y/N, I feel like we're fading, or at least we don't talk as much as we used to talk."

I nodded my head as I listened to him. I do agree, we used to talk everyday, but this year has been so busy already.

"I miss us too, but we're growing up, Miya, we have to focus on what we want to be as adults once college is over. Are you going to play volleyball your whole life?"

He looked at me with a face that seemed like he was saying "Obviously" even though he did not say it.

"Y/N, you already know the answer to that."

"Well, at least you know what you want." I said. I was jealous of Miya, I had no clue what I wanted to do. I was working towards a goal I was not sure of myself. Was it nothing? Was it something? I did not know.

"I thought I did too."

"What does that mean?" I asked him.

"Nothing, nevermind. But I just miss the 'us' from before."  
  


I brought my lips to his ear.

" _Atsumu._ " I whispered.

I then proceeded to burp in his ear.

"Y/N! Eat a mint, your breath smells like fruit loops."

I laughed. "Wait! That's what I had for breakfast! Good sense of smell you've got there. Now come on, let's get to class. You head in first, I'll come from behind you so we can make it seem as less planned as possible."

He nodded his head, giving his usual grin again. He grabbed his bag and started heading towards the classroom again. Before I followed him, I wanted to check something.

I headed toward the gym, and to no surprise, found Suna setting a volleyball in the air.

"Can I join?" I asked him.

He held the ball and kept his head in the air, eyeing the volleyball.

"If you think you can keep up with me."

I took off my bag and positioned myself across the net, on the opposite side from where he was.

"Try me."

He smirked. He setted the ball towards me, and with minimal effort, I got it in my hands, setting it back towards him.

We passed it back and forth for a couple of minutes, until I setted back to him and instead of doing the same for me, he held onto the ball. "What were you doing with Atsumu?"

He setted the ball towards me again. As the ball kept going back and forth, I answered him. "He was acting weird, so I wanted to find out what was wrong with him."

We continued to pass the ball in silence, now switching to bumping the ball, as he suggested, "Maybe he likes you."

I wasn't able to get the next bump pass from him. I looked at him as the ball rolled next to me.

"What?" I said. I scoffed. "Yeah right. We've been friends for almost our whole lives, there's no way that's possible."

"Well, I don't know, sometimes, you can just tell by the way someone looks at you, what they think of them. "

We continued to bump the ball in silence as I picked it up and passed it to him.

We continued to practice for ten more minutes, until I asked him,

"Well, what do you think when you look at me?"

This time, when I passed the ball to him, he wasn't able to bump it, he had just caught it and looked at me.

The bell had rung, meaning that it was time to go to our next class. I did not know I spent the whole period practicing with Suna.

He had still looked at me, until he said, "I think that you're a clueless idiot."

I turned around to grab my bag, and took out my phone to see Atsumu text me multiple times.

_Where are you?_

_The teacher was just talking about you being a good student, literally when you're not even here._

_Y/N???_

_Are you okay?_

_The teacher won't let me leave, but I hope you're okay._

_Did you get kidnapped?_

_I'm going to try looking for you after class._

I texted him back,

_With Suna. Playing some volleyball. Don't worry!_

I put my phone away and smiled at Suna. "I know that's not what you actually think of me, you know."


	19. C19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: LITTLE BIT OF SEXUAL CONTENT

Once I walked out of the gym, I headed back towards the little garden, where Atsumu was already waiting, looking at his phone, probably trying to text me again.

Once he saw me, he ran up to me.

"You could have told me you weren't coming back. I would've stayed with you if you didn't feel like it."

"It's okay Miya, I was with Suna and we were just doing some easy drills."

His eyes made a straight line. Squinting at me.

"Did he do something to you?"

I rolled my eyes, "What could Suna possibly do to me?"

He pointed at my neck.

"Why is that red?"

Something was red? I took out my phone to check my camera, and there, I saw a red rash.

I thought back to last night, when Suna had grabbed onto my neck with such force, and put my hand over it.

"Nothing that concerns you. I think I got it when I slept last night. I might've scratched myself or something. Well, now that you know I'm alive, I'm going to my next class now, I'll see you during practice?"

I waved at Atsumu and jogged toward my next class, which was my math class.

After school was over, I changed into my shorts, tank, and windbreaker with some random volleyball shoes I owned, and made my way towards the gym. I thought I would be the first one there, but it was actually Kita. He was folding some towels. I went next to him.

"You know, that's supposed to be my job."

He smiled as he continued to fold, "Well, you've been giving us some really good tips, so I figured I might help you out a little."

I shook my head. "I don't do anything compared to the way you guys practice. I'm really fortunate to be a part of it."

We continued to fold towels, until the rest of the team came in two minutes later.

As practice went on, I eyed all the members. Each of them had such a special talent that made this team go to nationals so many times.

After practice, the boys all sat down next to a whiteboard, while Coach and I were standing next to it.

I went in front of the whiteboard, facing my back to the team, and started to draw the model of the formation the team will be having on Saturday. As I wrote, I heard a few of the boys whistle.

I turned back around, to see Riseki Heisuke, the pinch server whistling and Hitoshi laughing with him. The rest of the boys were either smiling or laughing along.

"Nice view!" Heisuke yelled.

The only boys that weren't laughing or going along with it were Suna, and Atsumu.

"Pay attention!" Atsumu yelled.

I turned around, keeping my back straight as I moved to the side of the whiteboard so they could see their positions, and went into the supply room to organize some of the bins with some volleyballs to see if they needed to be reinflated or not. I didn't bother to close the door. As I was sitting on a bunch of mats piled on top of each other and separating the balls, I heard a knock on the door, and looked up to see Kita.

"You okay?" He asked me.

I nodded, the first year's words did not hurt me at all, in fact, he was complimenting me, I think. Besides, Kita had also gone along with it, so I didn't mind. "I'm fine! I was not expecting that, but I didn't really mind."

He walked up to me, without closing the door, and sat down next to me. He took his hand, put it on my cheek, then started to bring his hand down, to the side of my neck, then brought his hand to my chest. His skin was warm on mine, as my jacket was only halfway zipped up, so he moved his hand down, brushing past my breast, then his hand went over my tanktop, his fingers light, and then, he zipped up my jacket.

"It's cold outside." He said.

I couldn't help but smile. I liked when I felt someone else's touch. I liked when I felt Kita's warm touches.

Although, I was not sure anymore if I wanted him to touch any more of my body. I have no clue why, but maybe it was just because this weekend was draining me so I'm thinking about what I would want right now, this instance.

He got up and left, and once I had finished making a box of balls to reinflate, I left the box and the cramped supply room, which was filled with mats all over the place, and went to the locker room to grab my things.

Once I head to the bus stop, I would expect to see Suna there, but he wasn't. Maybe he decided to go with one of the boys to their places.

When I got on the bus and got home, I studied until 10, and then fell asleep.

**Suna's POV:**

After practice, I saw Kita go into the supply room, where Y/N was. As Heisuke was heading out, I ran up to him.

"Can I talk to you?" I asked him. He nodded. As we walked over to the locker room, I told him, "Don't do that to her. She's new."

Heisuke laughed.

"What's wrong with what I said?" He remarked.

"Just don't say stuff like that."

"Why? Do you like our manager, Rintaro?"

I scoffed. "That hoe? No I don't. She gets with anyone and everyone."

_You know, damn well, that that's a lie Suna._

_If anything, you want her for yourself only. You want to see her at the bottom of your cock, not Oikawa's, not Kita's_

I shook my head, getting rid of any thoughts I just had in that split second.

Heisuke pouted, "That's a bit mean, don't you think?"

I rolled my eyes, trying to hide anything I really felt. I could not see Y/N after what I had just thought. I'll only remember what I had thought not only a few seconds ago, not to mention when she had come over just yesterday.

I can't talk to her anymore. I needed her out of my head like that.

"Heisuke, I'm coming over to your place." 

I knew if I had seen her at the bus stop, I would want to talk to her. 

**Y/N's POV:**

The next day was like a repeat of yesterday's morning.

I went to the bus stop at my normal time, got to school in the morning then cleaned the bathroom with Kita, this time wiping the door of the stalls. We made little conversation about the upcoming game again. I went to class, not skipping it this time. Atsumu sits right behind me in class, so he annoyed me by throwing small balls of paper at the back of my head. While class was going on, I turned around, with his hand in the air with another paper ball ready to throw.

"Miya Atsumu. We are literally adults in college. Please grow up." I whispered a little loudly as the teacher continued her lecture.

He smiled.

"With you, I never feel like growing up Y/N."

I looked at him and squinted my eyes. What was he even going on about. Was he high at 8 in the morning? No, his eyes seemed clean. I turned back around, focusing in class.

After class was over, we had practice. I played a game with the boys, they all took turns in every position in the court.

By the end of practice at 8, I picked up my things and went to the bus stop.

Suna wasn't there again.

When I got home, it was the same drill like always, studying and sleeping.

When I had gotten into my bed, I checked my phone.

Kita had texted me 20 minutes before 11.

_Good night, Y/N <•~•>_

I giggled.

_LOL, what's that face after my name?_

Not even a minute later, I saw typing bubbles.

_I'm not sure, I was trying to make a face. I thought it was cute, like you._

I looked at the text. You would think that if someone flirted with you so sweetly, you would like it.

But I don't know. I didn't feel anything.

Yet I had felt something when Suna had held my throat with such force.

I texted Kita,

_Good night <•~•> :)._

After I put my phone away, I covered myself with my blanket.

I missed Suna's sometimes rude, but sometimes terribly-thought sarcasm.

It was just one day, where we hadn't talked, but somehow, he comforted me. We had not even talked that day at practice.

I put my hands on my chest, as I still had on my tanktop and shorts from practice.

I caressed my breasts. Thinking of when Kita had touched me right above that. I moved my hands down, lower, until I got to my inner thighs. I slowly rubbed my hands on either side.

I haven't had any actual action down there in so long.

I put one of my hands in my shorts, feeling my newly shaved vulva. It was smooth.

My fingernails were always well kept, since I had always played volleyball, and then, I slowly grazed my bottom lips. I moved a little as I was laying down, not sleeping, but trying to satisfy myself.

I took my index finger, and pushed it up into my clitoris.

I arched at my sudden, impulsive, decision.

I brought it back out, then put it in again. Slowly, but surely, I felt myself arching and wanting more, but I couldn't give myself what I really wanted.

The touch of someone else.

As I put my middle finger in too, and went faster, I thought back to when Suna had come over, and the way that he sat, was so damn hot.

I moaned a little bit.

I went faster, trying to climax myself. I closed my eyes, sucking in the oxygen around me.

My toes were curling and I eventually felt myself come a little on my bed.

I took my fingers out then got up and washed my hands in the bathroom. I looked at myself.

What was I doing? I had thought of Kita as I had slowly begun that, but then I thought of someone else.

I looked at my hands, with their perfect manicure I constantly give them, then closed the sink and headed to my bed, but changed the bed sheet and put the one that had a little bit of myself on it in a basket to wash later.

I was embarrassed at myself. How did I think of 2 different people?

The next day, I hadn't gone to the bathroom, as if I was guilty for what had gone on last night:

That whole day, I just focused in my classes, even ignoring Atsumu in the morning as we studied while he tapped me constantly to ask what the teacher had said a minute before that. I told him I would text him the notes I took and he gave me a thumbs up.

After school, came practice, I stayed next to Coach Kurosu all practice, not looking at either guy. After practice was over, I was taking everyone's sweaty towels. When I went to grab Kita's he thanked me like everyone else. When I was about to take Suna's, he held onto it before I grabbed it and said,

In his deep, low voice, with no one in earshot, he said, "I need to talk to you." 


	20. C20

"I need to talk to you."

"What's up?"

"Meet me at the bus stop in ten."

It was after 8, and I had gotten my bag from the locker room and lightly jogged to the bus stop. Suna was already there with his headphones in his ears, facing towards where the bus comes from. He hadn't noticed that I was there. I slowly walked up to him, then took his left earphone and put it in my ear.

He was listening to "found & lost" by Survive Said The Prophet.

I smiled and looked up at him, who was looking down at me right after I had taken his earphone.

"I didn't know you watched Banana Fish, Rintaro."

He took the earphone I was wearing back.

"Don't do that, you'll tangle the wires." He said. He took off his other earphone as well, he pulled the two wires up into his left hand, I saw him scrunching the earphones.

"Aren't you tangling the wires right now?" I asked him.

"Y/N, this is serious."

I looked back at him. His face seemed almost...

Worried.

"We can't be friends anymore."

We were just starting to acknowledge each other. What happened?

"What?"

"I just told you, we can't be friends anymore."

I felt my eyes start to blur. I always had a validation to be liked by everyone, but getting Suna to like me, and get him to forgive me was so difficult for me, since I never knew how to confront my problems.

"W- why?" I whispered.

Was he kidding? Was it because I had just found out he had watched Banana Fish? I know he gets mad very easily, but that's not something he could possibly want to end our friendship over, can it? Was it because he did not actually forgive me for forgetting him? I know I hurt him really badly. He's allowed to hate me still.

I am a terrible person. I always was.

"I still...I still hate you, Y/N. How easy do you think it could be for me to forgive you?"

"Bu- But Suna."

"Besides, you have so many guys on your ass already, I don't want to be one of them. I have to focus on the game coming up. Focus on my goals. Hell, I don't even know what my goals are, but having friendships with people outside of Volleyball just isn't meant for me."

I took his arm with both of my hands.

"But we can find our goals, TOGETHER Suna. We couldn't do that if we stopped talking all together. We relate more to each other than we lead on, and you know that." 

He avoided eye contact with me.

"I don't want to be friends with you, Y/N."

Suna's POV:

I don't want to be friends with you, Y/N, because since the day you saved my life, I cannot just see you as a friend. However when I try, you always come back to me.

You're hurting me, Y/N.

I did not say those things out loud. I did not know how to.

Y/N's POV:

I held onto his arm tighter.

"D- Don't leave me please." I whimpered out.

He made eye contact with me. I was not thinking anymore, I just started saying whatever I thought. 

"You're useless, Y/N." His deep voice sent a pang to my heart.

He let go of my arm, and jogged, pushing my shoulder in the process.

Even though the bench was next to me, I sat down on the ground, huddling with my knees to my chest.

Maybe I was useless.

Maybe that's why Suna left me.

Maybe that's why I didn't know what I was doing in the near future. Because I was a useless piece of trash in the world.

Maybe that's why I was afraid to show the real me to people.

Maybe that's why I couldn't save Mom.

I broke down, then and there, letting out painful sobs, and sniffling. I had not even noticed that the bus had gotten here.

The bus driver had gotten off and tapped my shoulder.

The old man asked me, "Miss. Are you okay?"

I nodded my head which was still covered in my chest.

I looked up and wiped the tears with my hands and smiled towards the driver.

"Yes sir. Thank you."

He reached out his hand, and I took it, getting up and brushing off any dirt that was on my shorts or jacket. I had not changed into sweatpants, as I had come out as soon as Suna told me he had to talk to me.

I walked into the back of the bus, ignoring the one or two people who had looked up to look at me, and tilted my head up, relaxing it on the seat and closed my eyes.

When I wiped my face, I saw my fingertips were a little black, probably from the mascara I had on.

How would I face him at school tomorrow?

I changed into a random blue hoodie I owned and sweats, and fell asleep. Once again, it was the only way to not think about anything in the world.

When I woke up, I didn't even bother wearing makeup. I put on my school uniform and went straight to school. I did not go to the bathroom, that was not even near to being clean, and went to the library. As I was reading a book, my eyes slowly closed, and I fell asleep.

I had woken up, when someone had tapped on my shoulder from behind me. I immediately turned around in my chair, to see him.

"Kita?"

"Are you okay Y/N? You've never fallen asleep in school. I thought you loved it!"

I shook my head and rubbed my eyes, my hair was probably a mess since I didn't tie it up this morning.

"Just...It's just...we have three more days until the big match, I'm just hoping it goes well and it's been stressing me out. I just hope I'm doing a good job as a manager, is all."

He parted some of my hair that had gone all to my right side of my head, placing it back into the middle part it was in before.

"Y/N, you're doing a great job. I'm proud of you. You're one of the most supportive managers we've had in a long time. Now come on, go get to class, the late bell rings in a few minutes."

Had I really slept through the first bell?

I gave a fake smile, nodded my head, and got up and went my way.

When I got into class a second before the bell rang, I saw Atsumu give me a concerned look. When I sat down, he tapped on my shoulder and pushed himself over the desk.

"Are you okay?" He asked me.

The teacher looked at us. She said, "Miya, Kang, don't flirt in the back there."

"Sorry Miss." Atsumu said, as I turned around to look at him.

I tilted my head and smiled.

"Yeah, I'm fine Sumu."

He furrowed his eyebrows.

"You know, I was thinking of getting a tongue piercing."

I put my hands over my face.

"REALLY?" I said it in a non-whisper, so a couple of students turned their head around to look at me. I blushed as I looked at them.

Atsumu chuckled. "It's always so easy to make you excited over the small things, isn't it Kang."

I rolled my eyes. I turned back around and the rest of the day passed by just like that.

Once practice came and I had changed, I saw everyone, except Suna.

I went up to the Miyas after practice, and asked them if Suna had come today.

"No, he said he wanted a break today, but he should be here tomorrow."

I nodded my head, and headed home after grabbing my bag.

How bad did I fuck him up?

As I changed into what I had worn the night before, I slept without even studying, and woke up earlier than usual.

It was 5:30 in the morning, meaning I could take the 6 am bus. Maybe I would see Suna then. I had gotten a text from coach, saying that practice was postponed by half an hour today, and to text everyone.

I'll do that later, I thought.

Immediately, I got up and took a 10 minute shower and put on my clothes. Today, I wore a little bit of a concealer to hide my eyebags which looked so tired, and grabbed a healthy grain bar, and left my house by 5:50.

When I got to the bus stop, Suna was nowhere to be seen. I sighed. Maybe he was skipping again today?

Although volleyball was his passion, he would not skip it today if he did yesterday.

When I got to school early, I went to the library, but to my surprise Kita and Atsumu were already there.

I walked up to them and sat down.

As I sat down, Kita stood up to go to the ladies restroom, he asked if I was going to come, but when I was about to say sure, Atsumu said, "Wait, I need to talk to Y/N by herself. You go on, Kita."

He nodded and waved bye to me.

Atsumu took my arm and dragged me to our little garden.

We sat down. He turned to look at me.

"Look."

He stuck out his tongue, stretching his arms behind his back.

He had gotten a tongue piercing.

"You did it?" I asked. I did not think he was going to actually do it after I said it, but he did.

He nodded his head, grinning. "The girls dig it. Now tell me what's been wrong with you the past couple of days."

Atsumu's POV:

Do you "dig" it? That's what I really wanted to know.

Y/N's POV:

I shook my head. "Nothing. Why?"

I lied to him. I had just lied to Atsumu.

"Stop that, Y/N. What's stopping you from telling me what's bothering you? Is it one of the boys? Did Kita hurt you in some way? Did Suna say something to you again?"

His name. I hated hearing it. I wanted to see him again.

I wanted to feel him embrace me again.

"Yeah....yeah." That's all I said, recollecting my thoughts.

"Which one?"

"He...he said what he wanted to say. But, I never got to say what I felt about it."

"What?" He scrunched his eyebrows, his forehead wrinking.

I jumped into Atsumu's arms.

"Ugh, you're so dumb and smart at the same time. I love you Atsumu. Thank you."

I felt his arms wrap around me.

"B- But I didn't even do anything."

"But you did. Trust me."

As the bell rang to get into our first periods, I took out my phone and individually texted every member of the volleyball team, the same message.

Practice will be 30 minutes after school instead of directly after. Rest while you can for half an hour:D.

I texted that to everyone, except Suna.

Hopefully, the boys would not see each other until then, I was almost positive that Suna skipped many of his classes, and kept to himself until the volleyball club. If my plan was not secure, then it was not.

I hadn't taken off my uniform, which was just like the boys, except that instead of a blue vest, purple blazer, and purple pants, it was a purple skirt. I brought both of my bags into the gym and dropped it into the supply room, knowing I could change in there if anything, but I needed to see him.

I stood next to the gym door, until I saw him.

5 minutes later, walked in Suna with grey sweatpants and a black shirt, ready for practice today.

Once he stepped in, I grabbed his arm and with him in my grasp, ran into the supply room, closing & locking the door behind us.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: SMUT; PLEASE BE AWARE!

"Y/N-"

"Just shut up for a damn second." I told him. I needed to talk. I didn't need to act like someone else in front of him. I knew that.

The supply room was big enough to fit maybe 3-4 people tops, so 2 was a party. As soon as you walk in, there's little space for one to sit on the actual floor, and a couple of steps in are blue mats that the gym class uses for stretching and what not.

I took his arm and forced him to sit on the mats. I stayed standing and let go of his arm. The only light we had, was the one coming from the bottom of the door, from the gym's lights that were open, so we could barely see each other, but I could make out his features, and hopefully he can make out mine.

"You're right, Suna, what I did was not right. But I did not know. I did not know how much he truly hurted you. But truth be told, if you had stayed here, in Japan, I would've continued to try being your friend. Just like I am now. I know you get me, more than anyone else, that's why I need you. I don't know anyone else like you."

Suna was looking up at me.

"Y/N. I can't be friends with you."

I got down on my knees, putting my hands over his knees as he sat on the mats, me on the floor, my knees probably getting dirty from the unclean floor.

He looked at the floor next to me.

"Because you do shit like this." He continued.

"Like what?" I whispered, paranoid if someone could hear us.

I took his face in my hand making him stare at me as he answered my question.

"Like what, Suna?" I repeated.

He rolled his eyes.

He grabbed my arm as he stood up, forcing me to also stand up and pushed me onto the mats.

He grabbed onto my throat with his left hand.

He came close to me, and in my ear, he whispered, "You tease me, like this."

With his other hand, he moved the hair that was covering my face from when he had pinned me a minute ago.

"I can't be friends with you, Y/N, if I wanted to see you smile only for me. That's not fair for you. I can't be friends with you, because I make myself vulnerable when I'm with you. I can't just be friends with you Y/N.."

_"Without wanting to know what it would be like if you got on your hands and knees for me."_

I blinked. I took my hands, and held his face.

"You know," I said in a low voice. "You saved me."

He searched in my eyes, for what I was trying to imply.

I smiled.

"I can tell, that you don't actually hate me. I feel the most open when I'm around you too. But I don't see that as a bad thing...I like it." I lightly grazed over his sharp cheekbone as I continued.

"I smile when I'm with you, I'll smile if you ask me too. But I want to see your smile, too. It makes me happy, Rintaro. As long as you don't leave me again."

Suna, with the hand that was on my face after moving my hair, came closer to me. We closed our eyes.

I felt his breath mix with my own.

Then, his lips slowly, but surely,

grasped onto mine.

We stayed there like that, for a while, his lips glued on mine.

I started to lick his upper lip, and he opened his mouth slowly. He tasted like cinnamon. It was something I could get addicted to.

His other hand never left my neck, instead, he grabbed onto it with more force, and pulled me closer. Closer than we already were.

I got a mouthful of him, against my own tongue. This time, it was passionate. I felt his lips move in such rhythm with my own.

I opened my eyes, to see how he looked, only to see he had opened his eyes at the same time. His green eyes staring with such need, just as my own. My hands went down to his shoulders, to push him back for a second.

"I want to know what it would be like, to get on my hands and knees for you too."

He straightened his back, sitting on his knees.

"Y/N, are you sure?"

I bit my lip, and nodded.

Suna got up, "And how do you want to do that, you slut?"

I stood up too.

I turned around, my back facing against the door, and pulled on Suna's shirt, tugging him back in my direction, as I kissed him. Our tongues were fighting each other for dominance, not knowing who would win this competition, as Suna grabbed onto the top shelf that was on one corner, and grabbed onto the door with his other. I took off my blazer and threw it a corner, and took off my vest, only wearing the white buttoned undershirt which was underneath it.

With the hand that was holding onto the shelf as we kissed, trying to learn more about each other, I felt his fingers slide up my shirt, then, it went upward toward my bra. With his whole hand, he squeezed my breast.

"Those are big." He said into the kiss.

He then moved his hand onto my back and gripped onto me, I felt his nails scratch my back.

I used this moment to turn him around, so now his back was against the door as I kissed him.

"The whore's got moves, huh?" He smirked.

"Say that one more time." I knew I had to show him, that maybe he's been the dominant in relationships, but I can be the top when I wanted to, too. I started to kiss his lips, and slowly move down onto his jawline that seemed like it could cut a diamond in two.

"Hm? Is Kang mad?" He whispered.

I ignored him. I moved down to his neck. I licked a little spot right above his collar and shoulder bone.

He groaned.

I pushed his arm which was gripping my back away from me, for a second, so I could unbutton my shirt.

As I unbuttoned the first few buttons, catching my breath. He pulled on my shirts collar, bringing me back to how close we were before.

"Let me do the rest of them. We can't let this get dirty."

I went back to gently sucking on his neck as he unbuttoned the rest of my shirt, helping me take it off and then throwing it to the side, where my bags were.

He choked me with his veiny hand. I saw my saliva leave his neck.

"Suck on me, like a good little girl, to show that you really care about me, you bitch."

I nodded without hesitation. I wanted him to know how much I really appreciated him. Appreciated this.

With his hand still around me, he forced me down.

I saw his bulge, already formed, through his grey sweatpants.

Before I took off his pants. I palmed it. Suna tilted his head up, rolling his eyes. Letting out a sound I could only describe as a deep and heavy groan.

I smiled. I had the control over him now.

Or so I had thought.

He pulled down his pants, as I pulled down his boxers, and out sprung out his cock, which was as long as the height difference between us.

I took my hand, and started to pump it. My other hand right below his legs, getting balance as I held the door. Going slow, then fast, then slow it again.

Suna had grabbed my hair, and pulled my head back as I continued to use my fist to please him.

"Not so fast." He slapped my arm away from his penis, and held it with his own hand. He moved his hand up and down slowly, and then, brought his hand up.

He slapped me with his dick.

"I tell you what to do. And you do it."

That turned me on, oh so much.

"Y- yes, yes Suna."

"No, yes SIR. What do you call me?"

"Yes, sir."

He gave me his devious smile, as he looked down at me.

"Now tell me, what do you want?"

"I want your dick."

"And what do you want to do with it?"

"I want to suck on your cock, sir."

As if his 7 inches couldn't get any straighter, it did.

He tilted his head up again. Pursing his lips to avoid making another sound that I wanted to hear. This was paining him. He needed me to relieve him. He looked back down at me.

"Open your mouth as wide as you can, like the sweet little angel you are."

I started to open my mouth. With no warning, he put his length in my mouth.

He grabbed my hair, and pushed me farther down, my vision already start to become unclear as tears started to come. I am just so glad I had a really good gag reflex.

As it was in my mouth, I swirled my tongue around his tip, which already had some pre-cum on it, and looked at him only to see him looking up again.

But this time he didn't hide that noise.

"F- fuck. You bitch. You're d- doing this to me" He said breathlessly.

I used my hands to balance myself, taking one of them up to his erection, so I could put even more in, and swirled my tongue around whatever it could as he tried grabbing my hair, helping me so strands didn't go in my mouth.

I really wished I had a rubber band just now.

I had taken all 7 inches in without many problems, and it had felt so good to finally have some sexual action again, even if it wasn't to please me.

As I continued to bob my head up and down, sometimes with his hand forcing me to, while others by my own decision as he put his hands into fists, he whined.

In a hitched and deep voice, I heard him say, "Fuck Y/N. I'm about to cum."

I took his cock out of my mouth, rubbing away any of my spit from my mouth. He took his hand to my chin, "Who said you could let me go out of your mouth? I know I didn't. I want you to take it."

"Yes, sir."

I put my lips around his tip slowly, then gathered more of his dick in my mouth, opening it widely and tilting my head up and lowering myself.

I felt him ejaculate into my mouth.

He commanded me. "Swallow it."

I closed my mouth, and took in his cream. It tasted slightly sweet.

His pain had surpassed, and I put my hands behind my knees, relaxing a little as that was not something I was expecting to happen today, and looked up to see Suna still panting, his hands on his thighs.

He pulled up his boxers, than his sweats. He stood right in front of me, and pulled me up by grabbing onto my shoulders. He used his index finger to wipe any excess semen off of my lips, and sucked his finger.

He put his hand onto my face, and pulled me close to his mouth.

His lips brushed my ears, as he whispered "Thanks, my sweet little angel. You were so fucking good to me."

He turned my head with his hand and tilted me himself, the opposite as him, and kissed me.

I felt shivers go through my body.

I was still wearing my bra and skirt, and I have never felt so wanted in so long.

He laid me down on the mats, and hovered over me. His silver chain came out of his shirt now, gliding over my face. He moved his hand lower; circling my thighs, going higher, and higher, until he was underneath my skirt, making small little circles right below my underwear.

I loved that feeling. The one I wanted so badly just a couple of days ago. I whimpered under his touch.

He continued to kiss me roughly, telling me, without using words, that he wanted me.

I wanted him just as much.

But, in what way?

Until, we heard someone serve a volleyball loudly outside of the supply room. 


	22. C22

He stopped making little circles under my skirt and got up. My eyes widened, as I was in nothing but my bra and that skirt.

He turned to look around at the door.

I used my elbows to prop myself up. "That's Atsumu!" I whispered.

"How do you know that?" He said, looking back at me with a worried look.

We did not want to get caught. We could not get caught.

"I know that serve from anywhere." We then heard him laugh.

"Nice serve Miya! Now if you take a deep breath before starting, you could put in a lot more power. Don't rush things." Kita said.

Oh my god, what about Kita?

I had just given head to his teammate.

I looked at Suna with my scared eyes.

"Suna what are we going t-"

He covered my mouth with one of his hands. It was so much larger than my face.

"Shhhh." and whispered, "I'll take care of it."

He then gently kissed my forehead.

He got up and grabbed my gym bag. I caught it.

"You stay here until you hear nothing."

I nodded.

Suna opened the door and closed it just like that.

I quickly unzipped my gym bag to take out my tank top and put it on me as quickly as I could. I then took out my spandex and took off my skirt and slid those up. I took my windbreaker out, an did not bother to fold my uniform and just stuffed it all into my bag.

I changed my shoes, and went close to the door.

"Hold on, I need to grab something from the supply room." Yelled Kita.

"WAIT!" Suna yelled. "Can you help me look for my phone first? I need it to look over the videos for our upcoming match."

I heard the steps go away from me.

I sighed out of relief.

Then, a minute later, silence.

I slowly opened the door, to see no one there, then exhaled.

**Suna's POV:**

What was she doing to me?

No one has ever given me as good a time as she just did. Her tongue knew what it was doing. Both in my own mouth and down there.

It was better than I had imagined.

She was so damn good. But I could not let her know that.

When I was tracing her thigh, ready to pull down her silk underwear I felt her wear, I had heard them outside.

I told her I would take care of it. But I could not really take care of her own sexual needs. She gave me such a good time. And in return, I wasn't able to repay the favor.

I guess I would have to do that soon.

I had told the twins and Kita that I lost my phone and I needed help to look for it. I started to walk out, until I saw Kita look at the supply room.

"Kita? What's wrong?"

"Hold on, I need to grab something from the supply room."

Without thinking, I yelled, "NO!"

I asked him to help me look for my phone. I felt bad yelling at him, considering he was the captain. But I could not let him see Y/N in there, exposed like that.

As he followed me out. I thought, if Kita and Y/N were on a date just last week, had she also touched him like that?

Well, it's not like I asked Y/N on a date either.

But that kiss, I felt something in me go off. I felt her feel the same way I did in that moment.

We were obviously on, "friend" terms, but was it more now?

Would this be the only time both of us did that? Would it not be the last? Because I know I did not want it to be the last.

Were we friends with benefits?

I have no idea how to bring all of this up to her.

When I got to the locker room, I took my phone out of my sweatpants and placed it on top of a locker when no one noticed.

I headed to the bathroom to check what I looked like in the mirror.

Just as I thought, when I pulled down my shirt collar a little bit,

Y/N had left a hickey on me. I smiled as I tried to fix my shirt. I looked at my eyeliner which was a little smudged. I rubbed some of the smudge away.

I went back, and I told Kita to call my phone, and he did, and on top of the red lockers, it vibrated.

I grabbed it.

"Thanks guys."

Once I looked at my phone, next thing I knew was that the Miyas were tackling each other in the locker room, probably because of another stupid fight. Kita laughed and I turned on my camera app, ready to take pictures of the idiots.

**Y/N's POV:**

I ran to the locker room to place my bags, and once I walked into the gym, I saw the twins, Kita, Suna, and now Aran all together, practicing with each other. I smiled as I saw the boys working so hard.

I sat down on the bleachers with a notepad, and a couple of minutes later, all the other guys came onto the court. I observed each guy individually, taking notes as the coach told them what to work on.

I eyed Atsumu. The man was literally perfect at this sport. I knew if he wanted to, he could, and probably will, make a living out of volleyball.

Then I saw Suna. His body was perfect in every way. His arms were somewhat buff, and his hands were huge.

They had made a great necklace on me, didn't they?

But I wondered as I looked at him block a shot,

What we had just done, if it would happen again.

I had clarified with Kita, that we were nothing. But Shinsouke still acted so sweet towards me. I felt guilty, just a little.

But I did not regret it.

I looked at the captain. He had a serious face, as he watched and looked out for his teammates, he had an innate sense of compassion towards each of them. Everyone who knew Kita, knew how wise of a person he was, and it was very admirable.

After practice, the boys were told that they would not have practice the next day, since it was the day before the big game.

2 more days until I would have to see Oikawa again.

Once I got into the locker room, I checked my phone. Kita had texted me.

_Y/N, the boys are going out to dinner to relax for a while. You wanna come?_

Would Suna be going with them? I thought.

I changed into my sweats and kept my windbreaker on. I opened my phones camera to check how I looked.

All my makeup was gone, and my under eyes were black because of dry mascara underneath them. I am so glad no one was close enough to notice it.

But then I remembered. What Suna and I had just done. It was just a heat in the moment event. It was passionate, but I had no clue if he would want more.

I don't even know who I liked anymore.

_I'd love to! But I have to study:/. Definitely next time!!_ I responded.

As I left the locker room and headed to the bus stop, the bus was just arriving.

I got on and headed home, thinking of how today had gone.

Kita was so close to seeing me hiding in the supply room.

Once I got to my apartment's door, I looked for my key.

I could not find it. It might have dropped in the supply room when I was rushing.

_Shit._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be sure to follow my tiktok, because I might end up writing another story, and I just love interacting with all of you! I would also LOVE mutuals! Just DM me on tiktok :)))
> 
> tiktok: @.kageyamaswaterbottle


	23. C23

Luckily, I kept a backup key under the welcome mat.

As I opened the door, I laid down on my sofa, thinking about how today had gone.

Suna had kissed me. And I liked it. Even though I did not get anything back, I felt needed. When would be the next time we would do that again? Let alone, would there even be a next time?

I got up and went behind the kitchen counter and filled up a glass of water and drank it, the taste of him leaving my mouth. I went to the bathroom to check how I looked, and as I took off my shirt, I turned around to see the small fingernail marks he had left on me. I smiled.

I changed into some comfortable shorts, and put on whatever hoodie I saw around me. This time, it was Suna's hoodie he had given me. I will just wash it again before I give it back to him, if anything. I was just too lazy to look for another one.

As I fell into bed, I pulled the top of his hoodie closer to my face. It smelled of cologne, and cinnamon.

I had easily fallen asleep that night.

-

When I had woken up the next morning at my usual time, I checked my phone.

Atsumu had texted me.

_Since there's no practice today, I'm gonna take you home and we're going to hang out. No other option for you. Sorry not sorry ;)._

I smiled at the text.

_It genuinely sucks that I have to hang out with you. Genuinely. ://._

As I got up, I felt my throat feel weird.

It wanted what happened yesterday to happen again.

I shivered at the thought, and took a shower.

Once I got out, I had seen that my throat had a bruise in the corner. It was not from a hickey, but from his grip alone.

If he could get aggressive just by making out, I wonder how much more aggressive he could get if we ended up doing more than just making out.

Once I got ready, I plugged in my earphones and headed to the bus stop. I stood, playing a game on my phone until I got one of my earphones taken out.

"Suna?"

He did not smile or anything. He put the earphone in his ear and nodded his head along to the song.

"Is this The Neighborhood?" He asked.

I nodded. "You know who _The Neighborhood_ are? They're one of the best groups to ever be made, in my opinion."

He held onto his backpack and turned, facing the same direction I was towards the bus, not taking out my earphone.

"No one else I know listens to it."

I looked at his face. In the cold, his face seemed whiter than usual, but his green eyes popped out against his skin.

I looked back at the street ahead of us.

He continued, not making eye contact with me. "Yesterday...Do you regret it?"

I stared at the streets, thinking it over.

"No, I don't."

He nodded.

"Do you?" I asked.

He also took a second before answering.

"No, I liked it."

The air around us became awkward all of a sudden.

"I-"

"Hey-"

We faced each other, starting to talk at the same time. We stared at each, both of us were blushing. We looked away again.

I started, "You go first."

"I- I just wanted to say that I know you and Kita were a thing. Or are a thing. I don't know. That's why I think maybe it was...good to be a one time thing."

I nodded. Taking in his words.

I was going to tell him that I did not want it to stop. I would not mind being friends with benefits. I knew I would not.

"Why do you think Kita and I are a thing?"

"I mean...aren't you two?"

That was a dumb question I had asked. But I told him honestly, "Kita and I had established that we were just friends. But, he does still come up to me and we do talk."

_But I haven't felt the things with him that you made me feel._

"So you are."

"I don't know." I responded.

Even though we were listening to the music together, the tension between us was brought up again.

I did not want what happened yesterday to stop us from being friends.

The bus pulled up and I took my earphone back, as Suna got onto the bus first, then me. Once he sat down, I sat down next to him.

"So why did you take the morning bus today?" I questioned him.

"I was running late today. It happens to everyone, you know."

"Right, right." I nodded.

He had gone on his phone, so I took out a book from my bag and a highlighter. Nothing like 6:45 in the morning to get your brain juices running.

After a while, with his eyes still glued to his phone, Suna said, "What are you doing?"

I looked at my history textbook, highlighting a certain war we had to know about for a test. "What does it look like I'm doing?" I sarcastically spoke.

"Studying." One word. That's all he said.

I looked at him. "Good job! I'm so glad you were able to state the obvious! What would you like as a reward? A treat?"

He rolled his eyes. "You're acting like I was the one on my knees begging yesterday."

I was in total shock that he had said that out loud. I covered his mouth with my hand that was not holding the highlighter. I looked around to see if anyone heard that, since he had not whispered it but the two or three people on the bus were sitting in the front.

I let my hand go then slapped his head. "DON'T SAY THAT STUFF IN PUBLIC." I whispered loudly.

Suna had pursed his lips, then all of a sudden started laughing out loud. As he laughed, I could not help but smile.

Whenever I smiled around Suna, it was never a fake one.

**Suna's POV:**

She had asked me why I was late.

To be honest, I just wanted to see her in the morning because if we did not have practice, there was no reason to see her after school.

As she was studying, I looked at her features as she focused on her book. She was such a nerd. But it was adorable.

Her eyelashes were so long, her lips were so pink and full. The way she bit her lips or chewed the inside of her cheek when she was in deep thinking. Her nose was so cute, too. And, her skin was so smooth. I wanted to touch more of it. But I knew I could not.

Once I said that she was acting like I wanted to get on my knees, I saw her face go from sarcasm to shock in an instant. Her cheeks had turned a really rosy shade of pink, as she blushed after my words. It was so easy to smile, just by talking to her.

But if I wanted her, I wanted her to myself only.


	24. C24

Y/N's POV:

Once we came to the bus stop, I started walking and turned around to see Suna walking far behind me, looking at the ground.

"You coming?" I called out to him.

He shook his head. "I'm going to the gym. Some of the boys are practicing there."

I nodded and waved bye to him.

When I had gone into the library, Kita and Atsumu were not there, but Osamu was.

I went up to him and sat down across from him.

"Well I haven't talked to you in a hot minute, have I?" I started.

He looked up from his laptop.

"Hey, well if it isn't my brother's girl." He said as he stuck his tongue out.

I slapped his arm and laughed. Osamu always made jokes about Atsumu and I being a thing. Even though they were twins, if they were not together, Atsumu was with me.

"You know that's not true." I stated.

"He literally talks about you all the time, Y/N. Why aren't you telling him how you feel?"

I scrunched my eyebrows. I did not know Atsumu talked about me often.

"He probably does that because he looks after me like I'm the youngest sibling. I mean I practically grew up with the both of you, didn't I?"

He shook his head.

"Y/N, he definitely did think that way at one point. But I'm his twin brother, I would know if he likes you or not."

"Whatever Samu, you think what you want to think and I'll think what I want to think."

He smiled as we continued to talk about how his parents were doing until the bell rang.

-

After school, Atsumu waited for me in the courtyard.

"Y/N!" He called my name once he saw me.

I lightly jogged over to him and hugged him.

"Hey, Sumu." He hugged me back.

"I'm excited to have you all to myself again. It's been so long since it's been just the two of us."

I thought back to what Osamu said.

He literally talks about you all the time, Y/N. Why aren't you telling him how you feel?

I pulled away from the hug and smiled. "Well, let's get going."

Once we got into his car, Atsumu played some throwback music and we had a hype session in the car. As we pulled up to my apartment complex, I said, "I missed this."

He shifted the gear to park and said, "I did too, Kang."

We got out of the car and when I was opening the door I realized that my actual key was probably still in the supply room, and I would have to look for it later.

Atsumu threw himself onto my sofa, as I went to go make some sandwiches for us in the kitchen, but from my kitchen you could still talk to whoever's in the living room, since it was not the biggest of places.

"So update me, anything new? Like ACTUALLY update me." said Atsumu.

Even though he was my closest friend, I did not know if I could tell him what had happened the day before in the closet. But I felt like I had to tell someone, I had felt guilty, even though I should not.

"Well, you know....same old same old...studying, managing the team, still being sexually frustrated...same old same old."

I stopped cutting the vegetable I was cutting, to look back up at Atsumu, after accidentally slipping up the last bit, but maybe it was not an accident, because I needed to tell someone.

He flipped his body on the sofa so he could look at me as I held a knife with my hand, which was frozen in midair.

"Why did you add the last part?"

"I think I did something bad, Atsumu. I don't know what to do."

He sat up on the sofa.

"First, I want you to put that knife away for a second. Next, I want you to come sit next to me. Then Y/N, I want you to explain what's wrong to me. I'm here to listen."

He patted to the seat next to him, and I put my knife down next to the cutting board with the half cut-up lettuce, and went to sit next to him.

I bit my lip, as I was nervous. This is probably the first time I had gone to Atsumu with a problem that deeply bothered me. Not because I did not trust him, but I was just never one to share them. Or maybe because I choose to never trust anyone. But screw it, I could not let the guilt build up.

"Okay...so, yesterday, Suna and I...well, we...talked in the gym supply room."

His forehead showed wrinkles.

"Talked?" He repeated.

I nodded my head. "Well...more...than talk. We may or may not have k- kissed."

I realized, I did not have to explain the other parts to Atsumu, as Suna never said if he wanted to keep that personal or not, but regardless I want to respect his boundaries.

Atsumu's eyes widened, as he grabbed onto my shoulders, shaking me.

"You KISSED....SUNA? I THOUGHT YOU TWO WERE NOT EVEN FRIENDS."

"Well, we had just become friends..." I said as I rubbed the back of my neck, nervous to be a little open about my problems. "And it was all in the heat of the moment...but the problem is...I liked it Atsumu. I liked the kiss. But I thought I had a crush on Kita. You KNOW I had a crush on Kita for so long. But I have no clue what's going on right now. I don't know how I feel."

"Y/N...I have a question."

"Yeah?"

"Have you ever had a crush on me?"

I tilted my head as I looked up. I mean, Atsumu and I did spend a lot of time together now that I think about it. But he was always just an older brother figure for me, if anything.

"No, not that I can remember. Maybe when I was like 10, when we first started becoming close. Why do you ask?"

"I have another question."

"You didn't even answer my first one."

"I'm still going to ask my second question." He continued, "How did you know you had a crush on Kita?"

I bit the inside of my cheek. I had no idea why Atsumu was asking me these questions.

"Well, I mean. He was a hard working man. Still is. And he's so kind, it's insane. He's just always been this man with good intentions, and so sweet, and his vibes were so positive. He was quiet, sure, but when he does have something to say, it's worth listening to."

I smiled as I thought back to when I had first developed my small crush on Kita.

"Well, I think you're a hard-working woman. And you're one of the kindest people I know. You literally walk up to anyone and everyone if you think they are alone. That's only something I know you would do. You also always have good intentions, and you're always optimistic. You're definitely NOT quiet, but you do always give me nice advice."

I was confused. Why was Atsumu telling me all of this right now? He kept going,

"But I never liked you for that stuff."

I rolled my eyes. "That was such a backhanded compliment, I hope you know that." I laid back down with my back on the seat. Atsumu laid down with his back on the couch as well. We both stared at the ceiling.

"But Suna. Now that I think about it, he's not that similar, but also similar to Kita. They're both quiet people, but they know when to talk and how to affect a person. With Suna though, he's a complete bitch to me. He's so damn rude, and definitely not a positive person."

But yet, here I am talking about him.

"How was the kiss?"

I thought back to the first time we kissed. It had gone from slow and gentle, to hot and quick so fast.

"It was...really good." I looked at him. "But you CAN'T tell anyone what I told you."

He smirked and took out his phone. "Really? Because I was planning on texting the whole team just now that you had kissed Suna."

He shook the phone in my face, and I tried to grab it from him and he raised his arm.

I sat on my knees, trying to reach for his phone. "ATSUMU. GIVE IT NOW."

He laughed. "Try getting it from me." He put the phone back near my face then raised his arm again. "Too slow."

I then tried using my arm to pull his own arm that was in the air down.

Atsumu's POV:

"Too slow." I said, as Y/N tried grabbing my phone from me.

"Sumu...don't text them please."

Obviously, I was not going to, but arguing with her was always fun.

"Only if you can stop me."

She started to tickle my neck, knowing I was ticklish. I started laughing.

Between laughs, I said, "Y- Y/N. You're. Not, Going. To. Win."

I took my free hand which was not holding my phone, and grabbed her waist and in just one go, jumped on top of her, tackling as we fell on her side of the couch. I

"MIYA!" She was laughing too as she stopped tickling me.

As I opened my eyes after laughing from her tickles, I saw her still laughing. I loved hearing that sound.

But I realized I was still on top of her. When she stopped laughing, she smiled as she looked at me with those e/c eyes of hers.

"What's wrong?" She said.

One of my hands was still on her waist, with the other on top of the sofa. She looked so pretty right then and there.

"Atsumu?" I always loved the way Y/N said my name.

I smiled. "Nothing."

I got up from where I was, sitting back in my corner of the couch, crossing my legs.

"Now how about you go make me that sandwich, you woman."

Y/N then proceeded to smack my head. Ouch, that hurted. I rubbed where she slapped me and she then stood up.

"Say something misogynistic one more time and I might just bring out that knife."

She rolled her eyes and smiled as she went back to the kitchen to make us the sandwich we were making before. Obviously, I never meant that. I love and respect all woman, but with Y/N, I am never afraid to make jokes like that.

-

Y/N's POV:

It was the next day. It was finally the day of the tournament.

Atsumu and I had spent all day yesterday watching a couple of movies together, including watching videos his parents had taken of us when we were younger, and it was just an overall fun and nostalgic day.

At 2, I got to school, with the bus all of us would be taking to Aoba Johsai, Oikawa's school.

When I got on the bus, I sat in the back, still standing, waiting until I could get a headcount of everyone on the bus. Suna was sitting next to Aran, and the Miya's were sitting together going over what they would do at the game. Once I sat down, I was about to see where Kita was, as I did not see him.

"Can I sit here?" Said Kita.

I smiled. "Of course."

When Kita sat down next to me, I marked down that he was here, and I told the two players in front of me to pass the paper to the coach, so we could head off to try and win against the other powerhouse school.

As the bus started, I looked out the window, looking at everything passing by. A couple of minutes into the ride, I felt Kita hold my hand.

I looked at the action he made, then at him. I then looked around the bus, to make sure no one could see. Our hands were in between us, under the seat.

"Nervous?" I whispered. He shook his head.

"Not as 'nervous', as I am 'excited'."

"I think this team will do really good!" I gave my words of encouragement.

With the hand that was not holding my hand, he put his hand on my bare thigh, as I was wearing some comfortable women's football shorts since I knew today was going to be a long day.

He squeezed my leg.

"You're my good luck, Y/N."

I looked at his hand that was holding my own, then at my thigh, then at him. He was the person who was definitely the most kindest to me.


	25. C25

He then laid his head on my shoulder, as he continued to squeeze my hand, and slowly rub my thigh, until he fell asleep.

We had then arrived at the school, so I squeezed Kita's hand, to wake him up.

I do not know what I want. To continue whatever was going on with Kita, or talk to Suna.

Suna said that even though he regretted it, he wanted it to end.

Everyone got out of the bus as I stood from where I was sitting in the back of the bus, and when I was about to get out of the row, Atsumu ran back up on the bus.

"What's up?" I asked him.

He walked up to me.  
  


"Are you sure you're okay with this Y/N?"

I smiled, knowing he always looked out for me. I slowly started to nod my head yes. "I'll be fine, Atsumu."

He then took my chin so I would look up to his face.

"If that motherfucker hurts you, or even comes near you, I won't just be ending him in volleyball, but I surely will be thinking about ending his life."

I laughed as I took his wrist from the hand that was holding my face, and gripped it lightly, to let him know I really would be okay. I knew I did not have feelings for him anymore.

But I might have been starting to develop feelings for Suna. Yet, I still liked being around Kita.

Hopefully it was just because I really liked the supply room day. That is probably why I am so confused. That's the only reason, Y/N.

Atsumu started to walk out, me following behind him, and once everyone was there, we all started to walk to the school.

Once everyone dispersed I started making my way towards the court first, I saw that the boys had gone to the guest locker room to freshen up.

The hallway was like an average university hall, with a bunch of lockers around the halls. They were all white, since that was one of Aoba Johsai's school colors, probably.

When I had started walking, with my clipboard in my hand.

I heard the laugh. I heard his laugh.

Oikawa was right around the corner, chatting up with his friends. I did not want to see him yet, I was not ready.

I hid behind one of the corners, hoping he will not see me yet.

I was afraid of him.

I was so afraid of Tōru.  
  


I used my clipboard to hide half my face, as I stood with my back a little crouched, closing my eyes.

_Please do not let him see me. PLEASE do not let him see me._

And then, I heard a light slam on either side of me. I kept my eyes closed. Did Oikawa find me?

Already? I had to look back at my past that I regretted so much so fast? I felt myself starting to tear up, even though they were not out yet.

I slowly started to open my eyes.

When I looked up, Suna was pinning me against a locker.

Hiding me from Oikawa.

His eyes were stuck on mine.

"Hey? Wasn't a girl you used to date manage the other school? I heard she was really hot."

Oikawa laughed hard. "That's all she is." is what he said back to his teammate.

Ouch. I thought. Then, I saw Suna bite his lip, and his fists clench. He took a step back. Letting his arms leave my side.

I grabbed onto his jersey.

" _Please stay._ " I whispered. I just needed to know they were gone.

He looked back at Oikawa and his teammate, who were coming closer towards us, but put his arms back where they were before. Right next to my shoulders. I could smell the cologne again. The one Suna wore, which made him smell like mahogany, and that cinnamon scent was back.

I didn't let go of his shirt that I was holding so tightly.

I closed my eyes as his voice came closer.

"That guy is definitely gonna get pussy tonight." I heard the voice of a guy I knew as Iwaizumi when I had looked at the roster of the team.

"Wow, I guess we're twins then!" Tōru said.

"And why is that?" Iwaizumi questioned him.

"Well, I wouldn't mind trying to talk to Y/N after the practice to see if she wants to hang out, then I could definitely hook up with her, she's so gullible Iwa-chan."

I held onto Suna's shirt tighter, putting my head on his shoulder, I did not want to hear him anymore. Their laughter started to fade away.

"Hey." Suna said.

I didn't say anything.

"They're gone."

I took my head out of his shoulder, as he still kept his hands to my side.

"Thank you." I said. As I looked up into his eyes, I saw his bright green eyes look right back at me.

"Thank you." I said again.

He took one of his hands and rubber right below my eye lashes.

"You're not a pretty crier. I couldn't let anyone see you look like that you know."

I laughed. He always knew what to say.

"That's the smile I like to see."

I saw Suna give a small smile too.

"Go back to the team now. I need to go set up in the court. I'll see you then."

Once Suna let his arms leave me and turned around, I took one of his arms.

I stood on my toes and kissed his cheek.

"You knew right when to be by my side. Good luck out there."

I started to walk back towards the gym, not looking back as I meant every word I told him.

Once I entered the gym and set up with the other coaches and the manager of AJ University's team. I sat on the bleachers with the coach.

Then, Inarizaki's team entered.

I looked at the boys, they were all so serious, ready to win this.

I saw the audience for our group, instruments and cheerleaders and all, we were so fortunate for them.

Then, I saw Aoba Johsai's team enter.

I tapped my pen on my clipboard, anxious for this game to be over, and it had not even started.

Then, I saw Tōru Oikawa, looking as good-looking, but as egotistical, as ever.

While his team walked in, I looked at my clipboard, even though there was nothing for me to fill out.

The teams were both as serious as ever.

"Y/N!" I heard Oikawa yell.

I looked up, and he was giving the grin everyone always fell for. He waved at me.

I gave a fake smile. I didn't want to make a scene in front of everyone, no matter how afraid I was.

He jogged up to me.

"How have you been?"

"Good. I've been good. How about you Tōru?"

"Ugh, I missed hearing you call my name..." He got closer to my ear, and whispered. " _Especially when I was devouring you and your sweet taste."_

My eyes widened. I could not believe he was bringing that up so casually.

"Oikawa, I-"

"I am so sorry, but Y/N is already occupied by another person."

Stood next to my side, taking my hand, was Kita.


	26. C26

"Y/N, you have a new guy now? Do you have a thing for captains of teams?" He laughed at his own joke.  
"Y/N, is he bothering you?" Kita looked at me with concern.

I shook my head. Don't start drama Y/N.

Just then, the whistle blew, and everyone ran to their spots.

Kita had let go as soon as he heard the whistle and ran back, same for Oikawa.

Oh. At least he helped me avoid any conversation with Oikawa, thank god.

When it was time for Atsumu to serve, everyone cheered him on, until he put his hand in the air to silence everyone. That move was always so powerful.  
The court became silent. And all of a sudden, the ball hit the opponents side of the floor with ease. Atsumu had gotten a service shot.

We had one the first game, 25-23, and had a 5 minute break before the next game started.

As I walked up to the last remaining people in our group to give water bottles, which were the Miya twins and Suna, Oikawa came up to us again. Atsumu was about to walk up to me until Oikawa yelled across the court, "Kita! Come over here for a second."

I looked over at Kita who came jogging toward our way, was this some manager thing? Why was he calling Kita over?

Kita smiled as he held my hand again.

"You called?" He said to Oikawa.

"So are you two dating?" He said.

I looked at the floor. "No, we're not."  
But at the same time, Kita had asked, "Why do you care?"

I looked over at Shinsouke, who was staring intently at Oikawa.

Tōru smirked. "So you're not...Y/N, if I win this match, you have to go on a date with me after the game. Would you do that?"

I froze in place. I thought back to when he had told Iwaizumi that he wanted to just use me.

"She doesn't have to do anything she doesn't want to do."

Suna said from the back.

I look behind me, to see the twins and Rintaro looking at the situation play out. Atsumu's hands were in fists.

Then, Atsumu walked up and took Oikawa's jersey by the collar. "Listen here, Kang does not have to do anything she does not want to do. You hear me? Stay. Away. From. Her. Haven't you hurt her enough?"

I went up to Atsumu and tried to pull him back. "Sumu, it's okay. Thank you."

He gave Oikawa the dirtiest look I have never seen the golden-retriever-like Miya give him, and let go.  
He grabbed my arm and dragged us back to where everyone was standing. "If that man comes up to Y/N one more time, take Y/N away from there. She's too nice to want to leave, otherwise."

I bit my lip. This was awkward.

The second game occurred. The boys had lost. Aoba Johsai had won this one. I felt sick to my stomach.  
This time, there was a 10 minute break. I ran to the nearest bathroom outside of the gym. I washed my face in the sink. If Aoba Johsai wins, I might have to go on that date with Oikawa.

Oikawa's name is extremely well known. He's one of the best athletes in all of Japan, one of the most good-looking ones on top of that. He literally has FANPAGES for himself. If word were to get out that someone had rejected a date by Oikawa, they would get bullied horrendously for missing a chance. It had happened to a girl after we had stopped dating. I had felt so bad for her. Anyone Oikawa treats as trash, everyone else treats as trash too. My validation could not handle that.

I heard a knock on the bathroom door, I looked at the door. "Is anyone else in there?" I heard a deep voice say.

"Suna?"

He let himself in, even though I had not answered him, though, no one was in the girls bathroom. Once the door closed, he stood in front of me, hands crossed.

The first thing he said was, "Why couldn't you speak up for yourself?"

"What?"

"I know you're scared of him. I know you want to be liked by everyone, including him. But why do you care? What difference does it make to you as a person?"

I shrugged my shoulders.

"I- I don't know." That's all I could say. Why did I care so much what others thought about me.

"You know what this means right."

I stared at him.

"What does what mean?"

"It means I have to make sure our team wins so you don't have to go fuck Oikawa."

I crossed my arms too. "You really think just by saying you would win, you would."

He nodded. "I don't want to see you flirt with anymore boys that you already do."

I chuckled. "I don't even flirt with MULTIPLE." I said sarcastically.

"Since when did we start lying to each other?"

"Oh shut up." 

He smirked and turned around. "That's the energy you should be giving Oikawa."

He left the bathroom, leaving me in my thoughts.  
By the time the third game started, the points were so close to each other.

There was then a deuce.

Coach had called a timeout, to let the boys strategize.

 **Kita's POV:**  
What history did Y/N and Oikawa have together? They seemed like they knew each other. Anyways, maybe I could tell the team what I've noticed about each of them on the court so far.

 **Atsumu's POV:**  
Thank god that guy didn't touch her. I think I would have lost it. But did Suna follow Y/N outside? No, they are not even friends, I think. Maybe Osamu and I could surprise the team now with our quick attack.

 **Suna's POV:**  
I have to win. For Y/N.

 **Y/N's POV:**  
Finally, the twins used their power together, and we had won. I smiled.

He had lived up to his words.

As the boys were huddling, I looked over and smiled. They had one their match. They ran up to coach and I, and Aran had said, "Y/N, thank you for being here. You definitely helped us and kept us organized."

I scratched the back of my head and blushed. "You guys did all the heavy lifting. My job is to make sure you guys are prepared to, well, lift the weight, I guess." I chewed the inside of my cheek, feeling awkward saying that but trying to still keep my optimistic persona, especially because we had won, so I truly was happy right now.

Oikawa came up to me, in front of the group.  
I looked at Kita, who looked at Oikawa. Atsumu was staring at him too. But Suna was looking at me.  
"Looks like we won't be going on that date of ours, together." He said with a fake pout.

I smiled. "Unfortunately so."

"Well, it was good to see you, Y/N. I can't wait for my team to play against you guys soon. I'll be betting the same thing next time. Hopefully we get a date together soon."

I nodded. "Our team hopes to play against you guys again soon."

As Oikawa turned around, I called back to him. "Hey Tõru?"

"Yes, baby? Oh! I mean Y/N?"

I walked up to him and slapped him. In front of everyone. His team and my own. Everyone on both sides had their jaw wide open.

"Maybe you should bet on something else. Not me. Quiet frankly, I don't think I'm that much of an object."

I turned around, to see Suna smiling at me. Kita, Atsumu, Osamu, Aran, and the rest of the boys continued to look at Oikawa. He was in utter shock, last I saw. I turned around to look at the boys.  
"Guys, we shouldn't let the bus driver keep waiting for us now. I think our team can definitely relax after getting today's win. You all deserve it."

Slowly, the boys started nodding.

As I walked, all the boys followed me from the back. A couple of them started chanting, "Y/N! Y/N! Y/N!"

I put my hands on my temple.

"You guys are embarrassing."

Atsumu walked up to me. "Y/N are you kidding me?" He put his hand around my shoulder. "Since when did you grow up and get balls?"

I looked down at where I would have balls if I were a guy.

"Well, clearly, I don't. Women can be bold too, you know? I was so DONE with the guy thinking he's the shit."

He let go of my shoulder and started walking backwards in front of me. "It's as if someone put a spell on you to make you so honest all of a sudden. I enjoyed watching that happen."

It was not a spell, more than it was weird ways of motivating me.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: SMUT!!!!!!! PLEASE READ AT YOU'RE OWN CAUTION!!!!!!!!!!!!

I waited for everyone to get on the bus first, that way I would not have to count on the bus.

Once I stepped on, everyone started clapping and yelling, "Y/N! WHOOO!"

As if I had accomplished something big? Well for me yes it was but now they were just being overdramatic.

I stepped back off the bus and heard the guys start to laugh more. Once I got back on, I asked everyone playfully, "Are you done?" And laughed.

Kita had saved a seat in the back for me, and I sat next to him.

"I never knew about this side of you, Y/N?"

I turned to look at him. "What side of me?"

"The not so innocent and fragile side of you."

I could not laugh yet if this man thought I was innocent. But appreciated that he thought of me that way, which is what I was going for anyways.

"Well, I had enough of him."

"Did you two know each other?"

I started playing with my hands.

"He was my...ex. Back in high school."

"Oh. Did you guys...you know...have sexual intercourse?"

I laughed. "Kita! Why don't you just call it sex? Fuck could have been better than sexual intercourse."

I could not stop laughing. He did remind me of a child at times like these sometimes. He was blushing so hard, it made it even more noticeable with his snowlike hair.

"Well, I did not want to make you uncomfortable."

I smiled. "Don't worry, it's okay. No. We did not. I'm still a virgin."

"Okay good. Me too. I would like to wait until marriage."

"Really now?" I nodded understandably. There was absolutely nothing wrong with waiting until marriage, I totally respect it.

But I'm not planning on waiting until marriage, maybe until I find the person I can trust. It was not Oikawa for me.

Maybe it will be Kita, if we get married?

Y/N, would you even be able to wait that long.

I complimented his receives during the game and we talked, until I was filling out some paperwork, until he fell asleep, his head on the window.

I thought about Rintaro. He had also blocked some really well made shots. I wondered if he also would wait until marriage to lose his virginity. Maybe he had already lost it. Maybe he was waiting until the right person.

I texted Suna while Kita slept.

_Are you taking the bus today to get home?_

I looked at where he was sitting. He turned around to look at me, then looked back at his phone.

_Maybe, why?_

I texted back,

_Just curious. :)_

When we all got out of the bus, I said bye to everyone and saw Suna already walking towards the bus stop. I jogged up to him.

We walked together in silence.

"You did good there, Kang."

All I said was, "Thanks."

"What? No weird comment? Like, 'Suna! I've never heard you be nice to me! Is everything okay?'"

I laughed as I continued to look at the street ahead of us.

"What we did a couple days ago. I don't want it to be the last time."

He furrowed his eyebrows. "What?"

"I need you, Suna."

"Y/N, what about Kita?"

"I don't know how I feel about him."

"And what do you feel about me?"

"I don't know how I feel about you."

"You're a confusing hoe, you know that don't you?"

I nodded my head. "I felt like being honest today, because I know it'll be long until I can be like this for a long time."

The bus turned the corner. It was. Our usual 8 PM bus.

"We're a complicated pair of people, aren't we?" He said.

I took his hand. "Yup."

He squeezed it, and we got on the bus, going all the way to the back, not letting go of each other. There were only two people sitting in the front. There was one sitting somewhere in the middle rows.

I sat down first, then him next to me. We were both smiling.

He took me by the throat, my head on the window.

"I never paid you back for the favor, did I?"

I shook my head.

"No..." I went closer to his ear. " _Sir"_

He let go of my throat, then sat straight as the bus started.

With his hand that was closer to my thigh, he started making little circles. Not making eye contact with me.

Closer they went to my inner thigh.

I was already starting to get wet by his small motions.

He put his hand over my clothed area in my shorts.

He pushed on it, just a little.

"S- Suna." I whispered.

Then, he put his hands inside my shorts.

The sensation itself made me jump a little.

Slowly, he pulled my underwear lower.

His hand traced my vagina.

I was trying to hold back my whimper.

"You can let it out, you know." He said.

"Not in front of these people!" I whispered.

"That just makes it better."

He put his middle finger up my pussy. He stuck it in at once, not giving it time to get used to his long finger part.

My back arched in the seat.

He started inserting, then exerting his finger. His index finger was on top of my vulva. Then, he put in his index finger too.

My body has not felt this way in so long. I put my head into his shoulder. Letting out a whimper.

I put one of my hands over his clothed crotch.

"What are you doing?"

"I can't be the only one exposing myself, can I?"

I smiled, trying to hold in my moans, but every thrust from his finger made it harder for me to do that.

I put my hand in his shorts, and reached for his dick.

While he took his fingers in and out of me, I started to pump his dick, which was already hard.

"Y/N. You've already done it once."

"Then what should stop me from doing it again?"

Both of us started to use our hands to please each other, both making small sounds only each other could hear.

Once our stop seemed to arrive, we were both sweating.

He took his fingers out of me and licked them. That turned me on so much.

I didn't want it to stop there.

I whispered in his ear, "Can we continue this at my place?" 


	28. C28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: more smut (head)

He nodded his head.

We both got up and walked out of the bus and normally as we could, as if nothing had just happened.

Then we both walked as we talked about what we would think would happen on tomorrow's episode of Attack on Titan, since it would be Sunday.

Once we reached my door, I opened it with the spare key and went inside first. I left the key on the table and when I turned around to look back at the door, Suna grabbed me by the neck, then turned me around so my back was on my door, and kissed me. He kissed me hard.

I opened my mouth, and he bit my lip. I put my hands in his long hair. He grabbed me by the thighs, and broke the kiss to huff out, "Jump."

I jumped and he grabbed me, my legs straddling him and he grabbed my ass.

He squeezed my ass and I could not help but moan at his touch.

"Hold on." He whispered.

I straddled him tighter, and he brought me to my old couch. He laid down on me, and kissed the side of my lips, then my jaw, then started licking circles on my neck.

This feeling, I loved it.

He started sucking on areas around my neck, I was starting to feel breathless.

"Moan for me." He said.

I let out a whimper, trying to hold it in. I could not do what he wanted so quickly.

"Make me." I let out as normally, as I could. I failed as it came out as a moan.

Stupid Suna knowing what he's doing.

Suna sat up. He took off his shirt and threw it to the side. I took off my shorts. Only in my top and my underwear. He went lower.

He kissed my clothed wet area.

He then slid off my underwear with two fingers, then put his pointer finger in, bending it inside.

I shivered. He took it out.

"I like seeing you under me." He said.

I could not say anything.

He then spread my legs by taking each thigh by each hand, and he licked one long part of my clit.

I grabbed his hair as he slowly licked long parts.

My back was arching. I have not felt this good in so long.

Then, he went deeper in. He started to put his tongue wherever he could, perfectly stimulating me in all the right areas.

I could feel him smiling, as he still held my thighs, gripping them hard.

He pushed himself in even harder, trying to lick in every part he could.

He clearly did this before, it feels way too good to be his first time.

I moaned out his name. This was the best feeling I have ever felt.

"If you say my name like that, who knows how I could control myself around you."

I played with his hair as he went back. A couple of minutes later, I felt an orgasm coming.

"R- Rinatro. I'm about to-"

"Do it." He said.

A few seconds later, he swallowed my juice.

He licked around my thighs to make sure he got everything.

"Just so you know. I don't want to fuck you unless you're only mine."

He continued, "Taste yourself."

He came on top of me again, and kissed me.

I felt my cum in his mouth, but the cinnamon taste he naturally had was even stronger.

I played with his hair as we continued to kiss.

I grinded on him.

"Stop doing that you whore."

I didn't stop.

He smiled as he kissed me.

"It makes it harder to want to screw you already."

After kissing for a while longer. I sucked on his neck, leaving a hickey.

He looked from over the top of me.

I ran my hands over his chest. It was so stress-relieving. I then saw on his stomach, the mark he had shown me left by Oikawa. I went down so I could kiss it.

I looked back at him. "Why don't you stay over?" I asked him.

"But I told you, I don't want to fu-"

"Not that stupid. What if by some small chance your internet goes out tomorrow. Then you're going to come here to watch Attack on Titan with me, so just stay with me."

"Where would I sleep?" He asked.

"Well, there's the sofa, and there's my dad's room."

"And what if I want to just sleep with you?" He asked.

I blushed hard.

"Then you can come into my room." I pecked him on the lips.

He sat back up. I got up and picked up my underwear and put it back on, then my shorts. I tossed him his shirt.

"What would Kita think of all of this, Kang?"

"It's not his problem if he doesn't know. Besides, we're not an actual 'thing', so he does not choose who I kiss and don't kiss."

When I sat back down next to Suna, we became silent. I checked the clock ahead of us, it was 11.

We were at it for about 3 hours then.

"Well, do you want to sleep now?" I asked him.

He looked at me and nodded.

I walked into my room first, making sure it was okay for him to walk in. I told him he could come in, and he looked around.

"Cute." He said.

I smiled. My room really was not all that. Just a vanity and a bed, being surrounded by posters of my favorite animes.

"Give me a second, let me go change into a hoodie."

I went into my little closet, and got out a simple blue hoodie. I was about to go out of my room to change, when Suna said,

"You could just change in here you know."

I shook my head. I do not know why I felt awkward, but I did.

I went out and quickly took off my shirt and bra and put on my hoodie.

I threw those two away in a basket in another room.

I walked back in my room, Suna was already lying on my bed. I sat down on the edge of it.

"Does your dad not stay with you?" He asked me as he looked at my empty ceiling.

"Not really. He travels all around Japan and does deliveries. It's always been just me."

"Oh." He said.

I pushed him a little so I could also have space to lay down. My head was on top of his arm. We both stared at the ceiling.

"Have you always been alone?" He asked.

"I guess." I turned to face him. "Have you?"

He did not answer for a while.

He then nodded. "You remember what I look like in high school. No one wanted to be friends with me. Then, my parents focused on my brother."

"I wish you had stayed back then. But, I'm glad you're here now."

We stayed there, taking in each other's words.

I put my arms over him. Hugging him and burying my face in his chest.

"Goodnight, Suna."

He did not say anything.

A while later, he asked.

"Hey Y/N, are you awake?"

I looked up at him.

"What are we?"

I thought about it. We were friends. But I do not know if it would count as friends with benefits, because we saw each other as more than that.

"I have no clue." I responded.

"You know, I'm impatient. Organize your thoughts so I could organize mine."

"And what does that mean?"

He took my head and put it back on his chest.

"Go the hell to sleep, Y/N."

I smiled. This is the first time I had fallen asleep feeling safe and not alone in so long. Someone was next to me. Someone I somehow cared a lot about, no matter how rude he was to me. I knew eventually, he would say something again to hurt me. But for now, being here in each other's arms, I wanted to remember it.

I drifted off to sleep.

~

When I woke up, Suna was not there next to me. 


	29. C29

When I went outside to check where Suna had gone,  
I checked the time to see it was 11:40, 20 minutes before the new episode played.

Where was he?

I checked the kitchen, and he was not there. He was not in the living room either. I went into my bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth. After I did that I went back outside to the kitchen and grabbed an apple to eat. I sat down on the sofa, biting my apple, thinking if I had scared off Suna, or something I did offended him.

Until, I heard my door open. Suna came back inside again.

"Where did you go?" I asked him.

"I took your key and went to my place to change. I was in my volleyball uniform all day yesterday."

I crossed my legs, "You didn't even ask me if it's okay to use my key."

"You're right Y/N, next time I'll let any murderers, kidnappers, or robbers break into your home since it would be unlocked because I failed to ask you for a key."

He rolled his eyes and sat down across from me. We were on opposite ends of the couch, waiting for the new episode to air.

While we waited, I decided I wanted to make popcorn.

Once I got up and made a big bowl of popcorn, I sat back down in my corner of the sofa. I turned to face Suna. "Do you want some?" 

He came a seat closer to me, and took a couple of pieces of popcorn as we waited for the ads before the show to end.

As the episode started, we both started bopping our heads along to the theme song. It was just so good.

A couple of minutes in, and we saw Niccolo.  
"Oh wow, now he's hot."

He took a few pieces of popcorn and threw it at me. "Shut up. I'm trying to watch."

"What, are you upset that I said I found Niccolo attractive? Wait, let me guess, you're more into a guy like Zeke, aren't you."

He shook his head as we continued to watch the episode.

"I'm straight, but I can definitely tell you when I find a guy attractive. In any case, it's Levi Ackerman who gets the sexiest male in Attack On Titan."

"Fair." I agreed the Levi was a good choice. I also liked how even though he was straight, he had no issue in saying a guy was attractive or not. I remembered when I had said something like that to Oikawa, asking him if a certain celebrity was attractive, and he would just say, "No, because one, I'm not gay, and two, I'm clearly the most attractive."

It does not have to with ANYTHING if you're gay or straight, noticing one's beauty, either what's inside or outside, is a GOOD thing.

As the episode went on, we made small comments, and eventually, it was over.

"So what now?" I asked him.

"It's still noon."

"Really Suna? I couldn't even tell. Thank you for informing me it's still noon." I said sarcastically.

"Whatever Y/N. You're annoying."

I looked out of my window. I didn't want to stop hanging out with him.  
Then he said, "Let's go out."

I turned to look on him, "L- Like go out go out?"

He looked at the TV that was playing a rerun of another episode. "I don't know what that means, but I mean go out of your house and to a cafe or something."

I thought to myself, like a date? Or like a hangout? But I did not want to ask because I did not want him to take the offer back.

"Okay." I said. "I'll go change."

"Wait, but let's start the fun already, Y/N." He smirked, as his arms were across the sofa like they always were.

"And what does that mean?"

"I'll pick out what you wear, and you have no option but to wear it."

I tilted my head. "And I would do that because?"  
He got up, pulling his sweatpants up and fixing his shirt, "Because if I'm supposed to go outside with you, I can't have you looking like a piece of trash. I don't want that associated with me."

"Whatever." I said.

He walked into my closet, while I waited outside since the closet only had space for one person, and waited for a couple of minutes.

When Suna came outside again, he laid down the items he chose for me.

It was a red, plaid mini skirt, a black crop top with ruffles on the shoulders but a v-line cut, and fishnet leggings.

"How much did you look in my closet to find fishnet leggings? I didn't even know I had any." I told him.  
He went to my bedroom door and closed it. But he was still inside.

"This time, you're going to change in front of me."

I froze.

"Huh?"

"I said, you're going to change in front of me. Do you want me to repeat that again for your dumb ears that never listen?"

"No."

He crossed his arms.

"It's No, sir, if you don't say it, I guess I'll have to punish you, Y/N."

So his plan was to turn me on as much as he could today, wasn't it.

"Yes, sir." I said.

I walked up to my bed, and realized I was not even wearing a bra, since I had taken it off last night.  
I took off my hoodie, and my breasts faced towards Suna.

Suna bit his lip.

I started to put on the shirt he chose for me. Then, I took off my shorts, seeing that I still had on last night's underwear, I wanted to go get a new pair.

"Don't wear underwear." He commanded.

I looked at him. The blush prominent on my face. "What are you even planning?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "I just like thinking of a bitch like you squirming."

I crossed my legs while standing. I don't even think I could stand straight by hearing him talk like this. 

I immediately took off my underwear, and slide up my skirt.

I then took the fishnet leggings, and slide them up my legs. They both stopped at the middle of my thighs.

I went into my bathroom to look at myself.

I actually looked, really good.

He then followed me into the bathroom.   
"I'll also tell you what makeup you can wear."

I looked at him. "Okay buddy, you already chose my clothes, I think I'll choose my makeup."

He walked up right behind me, taking my neck with his hand and pushing me back, towards his ear.

"You're saying, it's okay for me to punish you later?" He whispered.

"It's 12 in the morning, sir, I'm choosing my makeup."

He let go of me. He turned around. "Then I'm leaving. Go do whatever you want by yourself."

"God damn, just choose my makeup for me then asshole."

He turned around with a smile. "Good. Wear mascara, blush, and eyeliner. That's it."

10 minutes later, I wore what he asked me to, and we headed out of my house.

"So where do you want to go?" I asked him:

"Do you want to go to a cafe?"

I nodded my head. "I don't mind."

"Even if you did, I still would have made you go."

I smiled at that. It was fun having him by my side.  
Once we got on the bus, we headed towards the cafe where we once saw each other, when I was on a date with Kita. His hand was on my thigh the whole time, his thumb brushing my skin, As he stared at his phone in his other hand.

When we got to the cafe, we went to the order table. The kind waitress asked us what we would like to order.

"I'll have one iced hot chocolate."

We both had said that at the same time, and turned to face each other.


	30. C30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: a little sexual (spit kink)

Once we sat down in the back of the cafe, waiting for our drinks, I crossed my legs. I had remembered I was not wearing any underwear. 

Suna was sitting next to me on the sofa, with his hands folded.

A couple of minutes later, two random guys looked at me and were in our earshot. Suna and I looked at them.

"Hey, Noya, check out that chick over there! Let's go say hi to her." Said the guy with a shaved head, wearing a beanie and a jacket that said, "KARASUNO VOLLEYBALL TEAM".

The shorter dude, with brown hair and a little blonde streak in the middle, wearing the same jacket as him, said, "But there's a guy next to her, Tanaka. What if they're dating?"

"Well, it's not like we'll ever see them again, so it doesn't hurt to try, does it?"

Suna grabbed my face, and forced me to look at him. Then, his hand slowly went down to my neck, and pulled me in closer.

I had realized then, that I was so excited whenever he touched me.

He put my head on the sofa rest, while still gripping my neck. "Open your mouth."

I opened a little bit of my mouth, what was he doing?

He chewed the inside of his cheek, not taking his eyes off of me.

He spit in my mouth.

He went closer to me. "Swallow." He whispered.

I closed my mouth and gulped it down. He let go of my throat and got back into his previous sitting position. I used my thumb to wipe off any excess saliva.

What the fuck had just happened?

I looked back at the two boys, and their eyes were wide open. They looked at each other, and without saying anything, just nodded and turned around to leave.

I played with my skirt, while Suna had taken out his phone and turned it sideways and started playing a game on it. A while later, I looked over at his phone and scooted closer to him. He was playing a game where you had to shoot other players.

There were certain levels in this game, I knew about it because of my father. He had just failed the level he was on.

I took the phone from him. "What are you doing?" He asked, trying to grab his phone but I turned my back from him as I pressed _Start Level_.

"I was watching you play, and you sucked. It was really sad, so let me beat this level for you in peace."

He put his head on my shoulder, as he watched me beat the level in under two minutes.

"I'll admit, you're not bad."

I smiled. "That's the nicest thing you've probably ever said to me." Right when I gave him back his phone, our waiter came with the drinks.

I thanked the waiter and she smiled and left.

While we drank our iced hot chocolates in silence, I thought back to what happened not even ten minutes ago.

He had spit in my mouth, and then, we acted like nothing had happened. Does that happen often? Was it okay for two people, who were not even dating, to spit in the other's mouth? Why had he even done that?

We were not even a couple, why did he care if those two guys wanted to talk to me or not?

"Hey." He said.

I looked up at him as I took a long sip of my drink.

"I just had to mark what was mine for the day."

I stopped drinking for a second. Right then, I started lightly choking on my drink, and put my iced hot chocolate down to cover my mouth.

Suna laughed. "It's so easy to fluster you, you know that don't you."

In between my little cough attack, I tried to say. "Shut- Up-"

Then, I saw someone from the corner of my eye.

"Y/N? Suna?" Said Kita, with a much older woman by his side.

My little attack had stopped, and Suna's laugh disappeared.

I got up to go greet the lady next to Kita. Suna stayed seated.

"Y/N, this is my grandma." I shook her hand and introduced myself.

"Hello Ms. Shinsouke! I'm Y/N! I had thought for a second that you two were friends or cousins! You look so young!"

Kita's grandmother covered her mouth and laughed. "You're too kind!" She looked at Suna who was behind us. "And who's that boy?" She asked me.

Kita called out to Suna, and motioned him to come over. Suna got up and walked over to us, standing next to me.

"Nana, this is Suna, he's one of the best middle blockers on our team."

The grandma reached out her hand for Suna to shake, and he took a hand out of his pocket to shake it, but avoided eye contact with her. The man was definitely anti-social.

He let go of our hand and put it back in his pocket.

Kita's grandmother began to talk. "So you must be the girl who my son can't stop talking about! He never fails to smile when he says the name Y/N around the house."

I looked over at Kita who was blushing and looking at his grandma, in disbelief over what she said. I was also in shock. I looked at Suna, who was looking down on his phone.

She continued, saying, "You were also his first kiss. I'm so glad he got it with someone so kind and gorgeous as you! From what I could tell, he really enjoyed it."

I scratched my head. What I was wearing right now was not what I usually wore, but I was glad that his grandma was not the conservative type or anything. At least, she did not say anything about my outfit to my face.

"That's very kind of you, Ms. Shinsouke." I replied with a smile. "And that's very sweet of you, Kita."

"O- Oh! Well, it's not biggie! You know, you're an amazing manager and all, so I was telling my grandma about you and things just slip-"

I laughed. "It's okay, Kita. Like I said before, that's very sweet of you."

Shinsouke then looked at Suna. "How come you two had come here together?"


	31. C31

Suna continued to look down at his phone, with his other hand still in his pocket.

I guess I was supposed to answer. "Suna and I are neighbors! And he had come over to my house because he wanted to watch the new Attack On Titan episode at my place, since my TV was bigger and all."

I felt terrible. But it was not like I was lying. I mean, my TV was bigger than his.

"Well, since you two _lovebirds_ are together, I'm going to head out my way." Suna said, avoiding eye contact with everyone.

I was going to call out his name as he walked away, but thought that would be too weird since Kita and his grandma were right next to me.

I did not want Suna to leave. The fun was just beginning, and I wanted the day to continue with him. But then I looked at Kita. He said some of the most sweetest things anyone has ever said about me, and not even to my face, but to his own grandma. He was definitely what so many girls, guys, and anyone on the planet would call a keeper.

My heart hurt so bad in that moment, because I had no clue what I wanted.

"Kita! Why don't you invite the beautiful girl over to our place?"

"That sounds like a wonderful idea, nana." He smiled and faced towards me. "Miss Kang, would you like to come over to our humble home?" He said as he lightly bowed and put his arms behind his back.

He was such a dork. I smiled. It's not like I had any other plans today anyways, and the ones I did, well, they left.

We took the bus to Kita's grandmother's home, and I had sat behind the two of them on the bus.

I took out my phone to text Suna.

_Sorry our plan didn't go through._

I put my phone to the side, checking it to see if he responded, but he had not.

Once we got out of the bus and walked to Kita's home, his grandmother talking about his childhood the whole time, the three of us sat down on the mats.

It became quiet.

His grandmother, in order to break the silence, asked, "So what do your parents do for a living?"

I scratched my head and crossed my legs. This question was always awkward to answer. "Well, my father is a delivery man, so he travels all around Japan. My mother passed away when I was nine, unfortunately."

His grandmother continued. "Oh, I'm so sorry Y/N dear. How did she die?"

Kita looked at his grandmother. "Nana! You don't have to answer that if you're not comfortable, Y/N." As he said when turned to look at my with his eyebrows furrowed.

Kita did not know about my past either. I did not want to scare him. "Well, she um...she committed suicide."

I avoided eye contact with everyone as the room filled with silence.

"Nana, can you leave the room for a second? I want to talk to Y/N by myself."

"Of course, sweetheart."

His grandmother got up, then came my way and squeezed my hand, then left the room.

Kita stood up, then sat down next to me in this little dining room.

"Are you okay?" He asked me, as we both stared at the wall ahead of us.

"Yeah, I am. It happened ten years ago, so I've been used to answering those questions." I turned to face him and smiled.

He did not face me. "Does it bother you when I talk about my family?" His face looked so sad.

I shook my head. "Kita, I love hearing about your life. It makes me happy. You're a hardworking man, and you deserve so much."

He deserves more than what I could give him, that's for sure. I keep too much from him.

He then looked at my hand, that was next to me on the mat. He took it with his hand, and put it on his legs which were crossed. He then lifted my hand to his lips, and kissed it, then brought it down to his lap.

"How do you manage to always stay smiling and happy all the time?" He stared at me, waiting for my answer.

I took a moment before answering. "I'm not sure." I smiled again. "I don't want to see others down, so I hope that they never want to see me down too." I shrugged my shoulders. I did not think people cared about me whether I was happy or sad, but it was the best answer I could give him.

He put his head on my shoulder. "But they do care about you, Y/N. The people who you don't want to see upset. They care about you. I care about you, Y/N."

My heartbeat stopped for a second.

I blinked as I took in his words.

Some people do care about me in this world. Kita, my father, Atsumu, my mother, at least when she was alive.

But did Suna?

I realized there that I needed to stop worrying about what people thought of me, and only worry about the people who are important to me.

That's what Suna had meant in the bathroom when he had told me that I should be giving "that" energy to Oikawa.

I closed my eyes and put my head on top of his which was still on my shoulder. "Thank you, Kita." I whispered. I grabbed his hand even tighter, and we stayed like that for a while. 

A while later, he got up and took out his hand so I could stand up. We spent the rest of the time cooking with his grandma, and then eating the food we made, while talking about his grandmother when she was young, and it was just a really nice time. I felt as if I was eating with a family. 

I missed that feeling. 

While we were talking, I asked if it was okay to ask what Kita's parents did, and he said that they were farmers, and that one day, he would also like to be a farmer and live in the countryside. I told him I hoped his dream would come true. 

"Thank you for the meal! I really enjoyed it." 

"No, thank you Y/N! Who knew you would be such a good cook!" 

I smiled. "I'll be taking my leave now, but I hope I can see you again soon!" 

When I was making my way out, Kita said, "I'll come with you, to make sure you get to your stop properly." 

I checked my phone to see the time was a bit past 6 in the evening, and checked my messages. Suna had left me on read. 

I looked up and nodded at Kita. 

I hugged his grandmother and we made our way out. 

While walking, Kita took my hand. 

"You know, this outfit really makes your (s/c) skin look beautiful."

I blushed, as he moved his thumb side to side while holding my hand. 

"You are a really sweet person, Kita. Thank you." I smiled again. 

We continued to walk in silence, until we got to my stop. 

"I hope we can do something like this again." He said. Then, he kissed my forehead. 

I just smiled. Even though I had a good time, I worried about if what I was doing was wrong. 

"See you tomorrow, Kita." 

I hugged him, and my bus arrived. I got on and thought back to what happened in the morning, to what happened as the day progressed. 

I was worried about Suna, I did not want him mad at me. I felt worse because I had enjoyed my time with Kita.

I wondered what he had done all day. 


	32. C32

Once the bus came to my stop, I got out. I looked at the way Suna goes, and decided to go see him.

It was only the evening, and I wanted to make sure he was fine.

As I walked over to his house, I thought back to Kita. I was not as comfortable around Shinsouke, as I was around Suna.

When I got to his condo, I knocked on the door.

A minute later, came Suna, opening his door halfway. Once he saw it was me, he opened the door all the way, and leaned against the door with his arms crossed. He was shirtless, but wearing plaid pajama pants.

"Hey." I started off. I did not come here with an actual purpose, and I know a simple hi or hello is all I would need to start a conversation.

"What." He said.

I shrugged my shoulders, "I don't know. I just wanted to see you."

He rolled his eyes. "Pick a goddamn struggle, Y/N."

"What do you mean?"

"What do you mean, what do I mean? You spent more than half your day with him, then you come to see me?"

I played with the skirt he had chosen for me. "I told you, I'm not an actual thing with anyone, what's so wrong about wanting to see you?"

"No, you're right, because two people can casually sleep with each other. Because THAT isn't intimate, considering that they didn't fuck either."

"I don't really want to hear your sarcasm, I just came to see if you were okay."

"Well, now you see that I'm fine, aren't I?"

I nodded. "Yes bu-"

"Y/N, you know what I realized? I regret sleeping with you. I regret doing those things with you."

I crossed my arms and looked to my left and right as I was still outside his condo.

"Are you insane? Didn't you JUST tell me a while ago that you DID NOT regret those things? Were you not the one who fucking SPAT in my mouth without even warning me beforehand? What are you saying all of a sudden?"

**Suna's POV:**

I like you, yet hate you, at the same time Y/N, because you always know how to make me happy, yet do the same for others. It ends up reminding me of our past, when you chose Oikawa.

At least, that's what I want to tell myself.

It's because Kita's a better person for you. He's better at expressing his feelings than I am. He's much more considerate. He knows how to keep you smiling and treats you a hundred times better than I do. He deserves you more than I do.

"I was just playing around with you. Wasn't that what you were doing with me? You didn't feel anything...did you?"

I have to keep being a bitch to you, now more than ever, so you stop talking to me, for good.

**Y/N's POV:**

He responded, "I was just playing around with you. Wasn't that what you were doing with me? You didn't feel anything...did you?"

I felt my chest hurt a little.

"Yeah, I did. I thought you did too."

He looked up, then looked back at me and shook his head.

"Not really."

After a second, all I could say, was, "Oh."

"Are we done here?" He said.

I stared at him. I could not tell if he was lying or not.

I walked up to him, and grabbed his shoulders.

"Suna." My hands went towards his throat and laid there. He looked at me. "You really didn't feel anything?" I asked him.

He didn't answer for a second. He then took his arms, and pushed me back. "You just get attached too quickly to anyone who gives you attention. Why don't you go do that shit with Kita? You were his first kiss, I'm sure he'll be just as attached to the bitch that you really are."

He then turned his back and closed his door.

One second, we'll be friends, the other, he'll pull stunts like this. I turned around, and made my way home. I was shocked, confused, hurt, tired, and most of all, I felt guilty.

When I reached home, it was late in the evening. I sat down on the sofa.

I pulled out my phone, wondering if I should text Suna or not.

Then, I saw a notification pop up from 10 minutes ago.

_Can I come over real quick? I need your help with the assignment from class._

It was Atsumu. There was no reason to say no to him.

_Sure._


	33. C33

I went into the kitchen and made a bowl of ramen for Atsumu since I was already full from eating Tofu Hamburgers at Kita's house. I just chewed on some mint gum while preparing his noodles.

When I heard a knock on the door 10 minutes later, I opened the door and found Miya looking outside. When he turned to look at me, he scanned me from my feet to my head. "I know you don't usually dress like that now, Y/N."

"Just come in. I literally just remembered I'm not wearing any underwear either, so I'm going to go change in my room."

His eyes widened. "And why are you not wearing any underwear?"

I pulled him in and closed the door behind me.

"I'll tell you later. You're ramen is in the microwave, go get it."

He nodded and he went to the kitchen as I went to my room.

I put on underwear and took off my fishnets and changed into white sweatpants. I kept my black top on since I did not really feel like changing it yet since I never really wore it out. Might as well make use of it now. I tied my hair into a messy bun and came outside to the kitchen, to see Atsumu taking out his textbook from his bag, which he put next to the bowl of ramen I made for him.

I brought my chair next to him, and put one leg on the floor, while the other, I brought up the chair and rested my head on my knee.

"Show me the problem you need help with." I told him. He sat closer to me and flipped to a certain page he had highlighted.

As I took the book and got a pen from his bag to write down notes in the corner of his book, he asked me, "So what was that all about? The skirt and the fishnets? I haven't seen you dress like that before. And what was that about not having underwear on."

I blew a bubble with my gum, until it popped, as I continued to write down notes that Atsumu could remember.

"It's a long story."

It was silent for a minute, until Atsumu out his arms on the table, and laid his head on them, looking at me work.

"So are you going to tell me the long story?"

I put his pen down and turned the book to show him what I had written. "I don't think you would be interested."

"Y/N, anything involving you is bound to be interesting one way or another."

I got up to throw away my gum, and sat back down next to him, grabbing his bowl of ramen and taking a bite.

"Well, I spent the morning with Suna, since he had come over to watch the new episode of Attack on Titan with me, and we went to the cafe together, only to run into Kita and his grandma. Suna then left, and I spent the rest of the day with Kita. That was it."

"So...where does you not wearing underwear come in?"

I put his bowl down on the table, and thought of a way to answer. "Let's just say, Suna and I kissed again."

He sat up straight. "KANG! Did he hurt you?"

I shook my head. "No, I'm okay. I just...I don't know what I want."

"You mean, between Suna or Kita."

I nodded my head.

"Suna doesn't have anything planned out for his life, but Kita does. But the thing is, I like the idea of just wanting to keep going with what life throws at me. But Kita's just such a sweet guy, Sumu. He literally is so genuine, and so kind."

Atsumu's POV:

I thought, as she told me about her problem, how much I wished I was in Suna's position. He got to kiss Y/N, I wonder what that would feel like.

Miya. You can't think that way. She's your best friend.

But then, I also wished she had these guy problems with me, but she was happy with those guys.

If she was happy with one of them, then that made me happy.

I nodded as she continued to rant.

Y/N's POV:

"But, I think Suna and I are back to not being friends. So, I don't know."

"Y/N, let me ask you something."

I nodded my head, letting him continue:

"If I were to pull a move on you, right now, how would you react?"

I laughed. "Probably like that. I think I'd just laugh."

"What about if Kita pulled a move on you?

I thought about it. I could not see him pulling something like Suna would. "I think I would be caught off guard, I feel like I'm the one pulling moves with him."

"And what if Suna pulled a move on you?"

"I would freeze, but I would look at him and know that he knows what he's doing."

Atsumu laughed.

I was confused. "What?"

"You hesitated for Kita's answer, but not for Suna's, Y/N."

I pursed my lips.

"What does that mean?"

"It means you're much more comfortable with Suna."

"Well, I knew that already."

"So why don't you ask yourself this, do you want to be someone that takes good care of you and respects you? Or do you want to be with someone that you're comfortable around?"

I thought about what he said.

As he pulled his book to see what I wrote, I put my head on his shoulder.

"Good question."

He smiled and put his head on mine. "Now, did you know we technically kissed since you ate from my bowl of ramen."

I laughed. I brought my head up and took his bowl again and took a big bite.

"And I'd do it again if it means I get more of my ramen."

He took his bowl from me and flicked my head. "Then go make some ramen for your self and stop eating from mine."

"OW! I'll stop. Sorry."

Atsumu looked down at me as he took a bite of the ramen. "That apology was so unnecessary, but I'll take it I guess."

We continued to work on some problems in his textbook until Atsumu got comfortable with it.

Once Atsumu was ready to leave, we both got up, and then Miya brought me into a big hug. He then hugged me tighter.

"What's up?" I asked him.

"You're just growing up so fast."

I hugged him back, then let go.

"Now leave so I could cringe over what you just said in peace."

He laughed and went out, closing the door behind him.

I got the bowl of ramen, then brought it to the kitchen, and then changed into an oversized shirt, and tried to go to sleep.

I would go to sleep, then wake up, then go back to sleep, then wake up. It was so tiring.

When my phone rang for me to get up, I was so tired. My head was spinning from the lack of sleep I had gotten. It was not my first time being unable to sleep, but I felt like I should take the day off and consider it my mental health day.

So I decided to take a break from school today.

I texted the coach, and told him I would not be coming to practice today.

I texted Atsumu, saying

Mental Health Day. Hope you're fine without me.

I put my phone to the side, then fell back asleep. My head was throbbing. So much was going on in my head.

Eventually, I was able to fall asleep for more than an hour.

~

When I woke up, it was 6 in the evening. I felt so unproductive, but knew it was okay to take a day for myself. I remember my mom once telling me that when things felt too stressful, to try to relax for a second before facing the music again.

I had gone to the bathroom to freshen up and wash my face. I went outside to make myself a salad, and grabbed a bag of chips from the pantry, and sat down in the living room and put on the TV.

As I was eating and watching a rerun of an episode of Banana Fish, trying to keep in the tears, I heard a knock on the door an hour later.


	34. C34

I opened the door after wiping my eyes.

"Hey Y/N, I didn't see you at school today, so I asked Atsumu if he knew why, and he said you were taking a mental health day. I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

Said Kita.

I smiled. "I'm fine, thank you for coming to check on me. Why don't you come inside?"

He came inside, and I pointed over at my sofa for him to sit on.

"Do you want anything to eat?" I asked him.

He shook his head. "No, thank you." He put his hands over his knees. "I'll be leaving soon anyways."

I nodded my head. I sat down next to him and started to fidget with my hands as the silence continued.

"So, why did you feel the need to take a break today?"

"Oh, well, I was already ahead of my classes, and I figured the team could be fine without me for a day."

He laughed. "You would think we could survive a day, but without you, the twins got into a fight over an attack they were doing. If you were there, you would have stopped it so quickly."

I chuckled. "Don't worry, I'll be back tomorrow."

"Y/N, you've made me a happier person recently. Just thinking about you gets me smiling. I'm glad that I met you."

The guilt. It was back. I could not take it anymore. I played with my shirt.

"Kita. I'm glad that I met you too. Bu-"

"Wait. Let me finish, if you don't mind, please." He covered my mouth then let go once I nodded.

"I think we should date, if you would like to. I'd like to show you off to everyone I know as the person who makes any room brighter."

I froze.

"Kita. I'd love to. I really would. But trust me, I don't deserve you."

"Why do you think that?" He asked, as he took my hands into his lap.

"I...I just...I know."

"Y/N...if anything, I don't deserve you. But here I am, still telling you how I feel. What do you feel about me?"

"I-"

And then, there was another knock on the door.

We both looked at the door.

"There's someone else, isn't there." He said with a sad smile.

"I'm just really confused." I whispered to him. "I'm so sorry. I wanted to tell you sooner."

He shook his head, still smiling. "I just like seeing you happy, Y/N. It makes me happy too. If that means it's with another person, I'll support you. If that means it still might be me, I'll wait for you. But, I won't wait long."

I looked at him holding my hands. I looked back up to him, he really did deserve someone better than me.

I got up and fixed my shirt, and opened the door halfway, while Kita sat on the sofa.

Outside, stood Suna.

My eyes widened, and I quickly slipped through the door, so Kita would not see who it was.

He may be understanding, but maybe not unless he knows that the other guy I may or may not like was his own teammate.

"Is someone else inside?" Suna asked me.

I nodded my head, and crossed my arms and rested my back on the door.

"Why are you here? I thought I was a bitch who gets attached too quickly, was I not?"

Standing in his volleyball windbreaker and sweats, he responded, "I just wanted to see you."

"Oh, so first you say we were using each other, and now YOU wanted to see me." I scoffed. "You are one of the most bipolar people I have ever met in my life."

He nodded, agreeing with me. "I know, but you put up with it, don't you."

I tilted my head, "I try, I guess. But what you said yesterday hurt, so what makes you think I'm going to for-"

He grabbed my throat, straightening my neck, and kissed me.

He let go after a couple of seconds.

He talked, centimeters away from my lips. "I'm not one to ask for forgiveness, you know that already. So this is hard enough for me. But I can't stay away from you for too long." He kissed me again. "And that's why I need to learn how to from now on."

He let go and walked away, not looking back.

What the fuck just happened.

I walked back into my apartment, confused again.

Did he kiss me, then said he would not see me anymore?

Kita looked at me. "That was him, wasn't it?"

I looked at him. I put my hands behind my back and nodded.

"He can be a real bitch."

He stood up and came closer to me.

He used his hand to caress my face, "Well, I think you deserve someone who knows how to treat you like the angel you are."

That word again. Angel.

He pulled me into a hug, and said, "I'll see you at practice tomorrow, manager Y/N."

We were still going to work together, professionally.

"I'll see you too." He let go of the hug.

"Oh, by the way, did you hear about the banquet Shiratorizawa will be hosting the day before our match against Karasuno?"

I shook my head.

"It's supposed to be a formal type thing for volleyball team members and staff, so we can all get to know each other or something. It sounds really fun! Will you be going?"

I scratched my head. "I'll think about it. Are you?"

He shook his head. "I'm gonna go to my older sister's high school graduation. I would invite you, but it's family only."

I smiled, "I hope you and your family have fun, Kita. I'm proud of your sister! Please give her my congratulations."

He nodded and smiled. "Goodbye, for now, Y/N."

"Goodbye, Kita."

He left and I sat back down on sofa.

I touched my lips, remembering the quick kiss outside.

I knew today that my feelings were for Suna.

The kiss, which he had taken as a sign for leaving me, was my confirmation that I liked him, and only him.


	35. C35

The next day, I had gone to school at my normal time, hopefully I would see Suna and talk to him.

But that day, he had not come to school. After practice was over, I went on the bus. Once I got off, I went towards Suna’s house. I knocked on his door twice. 

No answer. 

_ Are you home?  _

I texted him. I knocked again. No answer. The lights seemed off, maybe he was asleep already. When I got home, I checked my messages again.    
He had left me on read.

The next day would be the last practice, as the Coach wanted to give the boys a 2 day break, so they have time to prepare for the dance. He would not miss practice tomorrow. I know he cares about it too much. 

The next morning, I woke up even earlier, to go to the bus that he goes on. 

I grabbed my bags and left my house. 

When I arrived at the bus stop, he was not there. 

I got to school and went straight to the gym. 

No one was there. 

After school, came practice.

I quickly changed, and went to the gym again. All the boys were there, including Suna. 

“Y/N!” The coach yelled as I walked over to the boys, who were all sitting in a circle. They had all been practicing before practice had even begun. 

He continued. “I was just telling the boys about the dance. It’s mandatory for Inarizaki to show up, so we could show how prestigious the people from our university are.” 

I nodded. “So I’ve heard.” I faced towards Kita, “Wait, does that mean you’re going?” 

He smiled as he shook his head. “I’m not sure yet. I had already told Coach about my sister’s graduation earlier.” 

The coach nodded. “Kita is the only exception, but the rest of you did not give me a reason beforehand, so I should see all of you there, understand?” 

“YES SIR!” The boys all agreed that they’ll all be attending. The only boy that was silent, was Suna. 

I could not see him wanting to attend any of these events, but for this team, the man would do anything. 

After practice, I was ready to take the bus home, hoping he would be there. The bus was already at the stop, early. I hopped on and went to the back. He was not there. 

Then, I got a ring on my phone and checked immediately. 

_ Have you figured out your feelings yet?  _

It was Atsumu. 

_ Why do you ask.  _

I texted him. 

_ Suna’s asking me for a ride because he feels ‘sick of the bus’.  _

I held my phone tightly. 

If he thinks that he could get away from me, by avoiding the bus, how mature of a decision is he really making? 

I texted Suna. 

_ Stop running away from your problems.  _

Because it’s not like he could avoid the bus forever. Sure, eventually he might stop taking it if he gets his own car, but now? The way he’s acting now, is pure childish, and I knew that. 

But if he wants to act immature, two can play at that game. 

The next day, I took the bus at my own time. In the library, I found the person I was looking for. 

“Miya.” 

He looked up from his textbook, as he was sitting alone. “Hm?” 

_ “ _ Ask me out to the banquet.” I told him. 

He furrowed his eyebrows. “Y/N, what?” 

I sat down across from him. “You don’t actually have to take care of me or anything, just tell Suna that you’re taking me. Just as friends or something.” 

He closed his book and rested his chin against his hand. 

“So it’s him, isn’t it.” 

I stayed silent for a second. 

“He’s ignoring me, and I don’t like it.” 

He smiled. But the smile didn’t seem like his usual egotistical or puppy-like smile. For a second, it reminded me of Kita’s when I told him that there was someone else. 

“The things I do for you, Y/N.” 

“So does that mean you’ll do it?” I held my hands together and put them up to my chin in excitement. He really was the best best friend a girl could ask for. 

“You know it’s an act to make him jealous, do you even know if it will work?” 

I shook my head. 

He opened his textbook again and looked down, he nodded. 

“THANK YOU!” I whispered loudly. I ran around the table to hug him. The bell had rung, meaning it was time for us to go. “Since you’re doing this for me, I’ll cook you whatever you want at my place. Want to come over afterschool?” 

“Make me your fried rice. It’s always good.” He ruffled my hair, and we walked to class together. 

~

After school, Atsumu and I went to my place in his car and he watched my TV as I made the fried rice for the both of us. When the rice was boiling, I sat outside with him. I was still in my uniform, as was he. 

He was sitting in the middle seat, while I sat on one of the edges, using one of the arm rests to relax my head. 

“Y/N, can I ask you something?”

I sat up and turned towards Atsumu. 

“What’s up?”

Slowly, he reached his hand and put it on my cheek, making me face him. 

“How did Suna kiss you?” 

“What?” I asked him. 

He came closer to me. I knew Atsumu was always clingy, but this felt different. 

He slowly held my chin. 

“How was he able to kiss you? Was it slow? Was it quick?” 

“Why are you asking me this Miya?” 

“Because I want to see something for myself, before I give you away.” 

“Give me away wha-” 

He pecked my lips, as I was about to continue. 

“Was it a quick kiss, like that?” 

“Atsumu what are yo-” 

He held my face and brought me closer.

I could feel his cool breaths as I looked up at him. 

“Or was it like this?” 

“Miya what is-” 

As my mouth was open as I was talking, Miya bit my lower lip, and brought his tongue into my mouth. I felt his cold tongue piercing in my mouth. 

How the hell was I supposed to pull away from this? Pull away without knowing what the hell was going on?

Would I lose someone else, just like I did Kita? 

Would I lose everyone? 


	36. C36

I moaned into his mouth when the piercing touched my tongue. My hands were on either side of the sofa. 

He knew I liked when people were this close to me. But I don’t want it to be him. He’s my best friend, that’s all he’s ever been. 

It felt like I was kissing a brother. 

I took my hands and pushed him away. 

“WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?” I asked him. 

He grinned. 

“I’ve decided that from now on, if you ever feel the need to kiss me to check if you, you know, are good or not, I would not mind.” 

I looked at him, I was so confused. 

I smacked his head. 

“Did you even ASK me if I wanted to kiss you? Last time, we were asking for permission and then you said, ‘no Y/N I would never want to kiss you’, but then what was THAT?”

He rebutted, “Well, that moan didn’t sound like you hated it.” He fell back on my sofa, closing his eyes and crossing his arms. 

I got up, got a pillow that was on the other end of the sofa, and kept hitting him with it.

“Don’t- ever- pull- something- like- that- ever- again-” I said every time I hit him. 

I put the pillow to the side next to him, and sat back down. 

“Atsumu, what was that for?” 

“I just wanted to check something.” 

He put his finger on my lip. 

**Atsumu’s POV:**

I wanted to check what you tasted like, is what the truth was. 

But also, it was because I know I would never do this anytime again, because I knew, soon, you would be with the person you really can be yourself around. 

I knew you acted comfortable, yet kept so much from me. 

But I respect that. Seeing you smile is all I need, Y/N. You've already been through enough. 

**Y/N’s POV:**

“Check what?” I said as his finger stayed there. 

He then took it away and flicked my forehead. 

“I don’t approve of Suna for you. But he makes you happy.” 

I crossed my arms. “Your opinion matters a lot to me, and you know that. But this...this is a decision I can handle myself. You’re right. He does make me happy. But I hope you do come around to approving him.” 

I got up to go to the kitchen and finish the fried rice. Once it was finally ready to eat, I bought two bowls and put them on the table. I called him to come to the kitchen, and he came. 

While we were eating, it was silent. 

He broke the silence after a while, first. “So...what are you wearing to the banquet?” 

I took a bite of my food. I was always confident with my cooking.    
“I’m not sure yet. I haven’t thought about it...You?” 

“The boys are all planning on wearing tuxes.” He said. 

Suna in a tuxedo, was all I could imagine. 

“Hmmm, not a bad combination. Seeing a bunch of guys wearing tuxedos for multiple hours. I think I could get used to that.” I smiled at the thought. 

Atsumu shook his head. “Y/N, Y/N, Y/N...when will you learn that the hottest of them all is the one sitting right in front of you?” 

I took the last bite of my fried rice and stood up taking my bowl and his with me, his was not entirely finished yet. 

“Y/N? Come on that joke was so good!” He pouted as I ignored him. 

“Please leave my house if you’re going to continue that.” 

He laughed. “I’ll leave, but after I help you pick out what to wear, because then you’ll become all indecisive, just like how you can’t pick a guy.” 

I rolled my eyes. “Whatever.” I placed both of our bowls onto the table with the sink. And leaned my hands against the counter. 

He followed me and took his bowl, finishing up the last bites. 

After he finished in half a minute, he burped. “That was good, since I don’t expect less from Miss Kang.” He pulled on my arm, “Now time to go pick out your dress.” 

He pulled me into my room, and pushed me into my closest and held the doorknob. “Now pick out a dress and put it on. I have to make sure our manager looks good.” 

He closed the door and waited outside. 

I turned around to look at my clothes. 

I followed whatever was, “trending”, but for a banquet, I needed to impress the team. 

Impress him. 

Then suddenly, it came to my mind. 

I looked up at the shelf in my tiny closet. There, layed a box which I haven’t opened in years. It was a memory box my father had kept of my mom. 

I didn’t even think about it until now. 

I reached up for it, having to jump to get it, and down slid the box. I fell on my butt while catching it safely.

“Everything okay there?” Atsumu asked from outside the door.

“Yeah!” I yelled back. 

I opened the box, and saw the polaroids my mom had taken from when we were younger. I smiled at them. 

I dug in a little deeper, to find what I was looking for. 

Once I wore it, I came outside to show Atsumu. 

When his eyes landed on me, his jaw dropped. He looked me down, then up, then down again. 

“It’s perfect, Y/N.” 

I smiled. 

~

After school the next day, with no contact with Suna, or any of the boys except Atsumu whatsoever, came the day of the Volleyball Formal at Shiratorizawa. 


	37. C37

It was time to get ready. 

After school, I took the bus straight home, and ran into my room, ready to get ready since Atsumu would be picking me up in an hour. 

I took a shower, playing my favorite playlist. I was never one to be excited about getting ready, but for some reason, this excited me so much. 

After the shower, I dried my hair with a blowdryer, and straightened it, letting small curls form at the end. The colors of my hair were going to look so good with her dress, my mom’s dress, I thought. 

I put my hair into a light ponytail, as I got ready to do my makeup. I wore a concealer, blush, a little bit of highlight, eyeliner, and mascara. I then put on some lipgloss and smacked my lips. 

You look nice, Y/N. 

I went to my closet, where hung my dress. 

It was a long, silky emerald green dress, it had one full sleeve, with the other side being sleeveless, and it picked all the right parts of my body to curve. It had a slit that started from my midthigh. It would match perfectly with the black high heels my dad had bought me last year for my birthday. 

I remember my mother had worn it the day my father had asked for her hand in marriage, she must have looked so good. I smiled thinking about her. 

Recently, I was able to think about her without crying. Not that there was anything bad about crying, it was just that I realized how much I’ve grown since back then. I was able to stand up for myself, I was able to laugh, actually laugh, and open myself a little bit. 

It was all thanks to Rintarou. 

By the time I had finished getting ready, I heard Atsumu knock on the door. As I opened the door, I let my hair down. 

“So, how do I look?” I asked him. 

He looked at me, from down to up, and showed me a sweet smile. 

“You look gorgeous, Y/N.” 

I grinned. I then looked at Atsumu, with his hair slicked back, and the tuxedo that fitted him very well. “You look great too, Miya.” 

He rolled up his cuffs, and chuckled. “So, are you ready to go?” 

I nodded. As I was about to step outside, I felt that I had forgotten something. 

“WAIT! My clutch, it has my phone in it.” I grabbed it from the kitchen table, and went back out. 

Atsumu took his arm out for me to link with, and I laughed as I took it. 

“You’re going to take this whole fake date thing seriously, aren’t you?” 

He nodded with a proud smile. “I have you just for a little of the night, so might as well make it worthwhile and fun for me.” 

When we got to his car, I was about to open the passenger seat, when Atsumu put his hand up to stop me. 

“No no no, I’ll do it Miss Kang.” 

“PFFFTTT.” I could not help but scoff. He was being so respectful for this date, it was like seeing a whole different side of him. One day, he would surely make a girl happy. 

He opened the door for me as I got in. Before he closed the door, he looked me up and down again. “You really know how to pull yourself together, don’t you.” He gave me a smile. 

I smiled back. He closed the door and got in from the other side. 

When he started driving, I looked at his side profile. He was wearing a diamond stud on his ear. “The girls are going to fall for you, you know.” 

“Even the guys will.” He winked. 

“Even the guys, Atsumu.” 

**Atsumu’s POV:**

Y/N looked absolutely stunning. 

When she sat in the car, it was the moment I realized. 

I was in love with her. 

I was in love with her, but she was in love with someone else. 

I was so jealous of the man who had her heart. But if I were to do anything to stop it, she would not be happy. 

I’ll have as much time as I can spend with her tonight on this date. 

The whole car ride, we listened to hype music, and talked about the food we would think would be there. 

**Y/N’s POV:**

It had taken us 25 minutes to reach Shiratorizawa University, and Atsumu told me to stay in the car as he came around to get me. 

“Such a kind gentleman.” I remarked sarcastically. 

He linked with my arm, and we walked inside of Shiratorizawa. It was grand. We found a map to show us where the banquet room was. We were on the second of 4 floors, with a roof on top. 

That’s right, Shiratorizawa had its own room for formals. 

While we walked to the hall, Atsumu said, “You know, I definitely would have made it onto Shiratorizawa’s team if I tried.” 

I rolled my eyes. “You know, Oikawa had gotten a scholarship here, but he denied it senior year.” 

Atsumu stopped smiling. He linked his arm with me tighter. 

“He might be here tonight.” 

I slowly nodded my head as I looked straight ahead. 

“I figured.” 

“You’ll be fine, won’t you?” 

I turned to face him again. 

“Yup.” I smiled. 

Once we found the door for the room, Atsumu opened it for us. 

The huge door, laid ahead of us a huge chandelier, with a purple velvet staircase right in front of us. Linking my arm again, Atsumu asked, “You ready?” 

I nodded, and we started walking down the staircase. I stood for a moment. I looked around, taking in everything around me. There were waiters, actual waiters. They were probably students, but this school was fancy and rich as hell. 

I looked in the middle of the room, to see a circle of Shiratorizawa’s team members in the middle of the huge wooden dance floor. They were all talking. 

To the corner, I saw Aoba Johsai’s team, also standing in the corner of the floor, Oikawa was wearing a rolled up white collared long-sleeve T-shirt, with a vest. He was facing his back to us. 

I saw Karasuno’s team, and saw a boy I knew as Tobio Kageyama. He used to go to my old high school. I smiled as I thought back to the little boy who was known for his obsession with volleyball, and with his hair looking neatly done with a middle part and a tuxedo which he was probably forced to wear by his team. I wish he would find his smile soon. I saw their manager, with her hair rolled into a bun, with strands hanging out. She was wearing a long navy blue dress, then went down to the floor, with two thin straps holding it up. She was absolutely gorgeous. 

Then, I saw our team. They were on the opposite end of AJ University’s team, but I could see them all, as they were in a semi-circle. 

My eyes landed on him. 

His hair was better done than usual, with his middle part tame, and shiny. The tuxedo fit him in all the right parts. His arms looked so big, and I saw him fix his bow. As we continued walking down, he looked up at us when Aran nudged his shoulder. He looked at Atsumu, then at me. 

I gave him a light smile. He saw our arms linked, and he went back to fixing his bow. Not giving me any sign he saw me. 

**Suna’s POV:**

Y/N walked in with Atsumu. 

She looked so goddamn beautiful. 

I looked back down, otherwise, I would have smiled back at her. 

When she came down and headed this way, I left the circle, looking for a place to get water in the hall. 

I had to stay as far away as possible from her tonight. 

**Y/N’s POV:**

I saw Suna walk away as we got closer. Aran said, “Y/N, you look stunning.” 

I smiled. “Thank you Aran, you look great in that suit as well.” He had worn a navy blue blazer with matching pants and a white shirt underneath. 

I looked at my side, to look for Suna. 

He was at a tiny table where lemonade was being served, I was about to go his way, when Atsumu pulled my arm with the one that was linking me. 

“Stay here, for a little, Y/N.” He whispered to me so no one would hear around us. 

“But Atsumu-” 

“Until I can let you go.” 

That moment. I figured it out. 

Atsumu was just too scared to see me leave him. 

**Atsumu’s POV:**

Her eyes had lit up when they went onto Suna’s. More than they ever had versus when she was with me, or even Oikawa. 

I just wanted her a while more before she left. I hope it was not too much to ask of her. 

The floor was starting to have pairs start slow dancing, as the teams started to go on other sides of the hall so people could dance. 

I asked her, “Dance with me?” 

She looked back at Suna, then at me. “Sure, Miya.” She gave her pretty smile. 

I took her hand, and we went to a spot on the floor on the side, and she put her arms on my shoulders as I put mine on her waist. 

Y/N was a terrible dancer, but she was still so cute, and I led the way as we danced for a couple of minutes. Her hair flowed perfectly to the rhythm we moved in. I made a couple of jokes, just to hear her laugh, which was usually sarcastic because she never found my jokes funny. Slowly, we made our way closer, but not entirely to the center of the dance floor. 

**Y/N’s POV:**

As we were dancing, Atsumu’s hands went lower from my waist. They went to my hips, then when they were about to go lower, I looked down. Right when I did that, someone tapped on Atsumu’s shoulder. 

We stopped as Atsumu let go and turned around to face Osamu. His twin told him that the coach wanted them to talk to someone. He turned around and told me that he would be back and walked away. As I was also about to walk the other direction, 

Someone from behind tapped on my shoulder. 

“May I have this dance with you if you’re not taken then?”

I freezed. 

I wished in that moment, that Atsumu didn’t have to leave me.


	38. C38

“Well, Y/N? Come on, a simple dance won’t hurt, won’t it?”

I turned back to look at Oikawa. As I was about to step back, he walked closer to me, and grabbed my waist with force, pulling me to himself. He took my arm, and put it on his shoulder, holding onto it. I looked anywhere to look for Atsumu, but he was not there anymore.    
  


To make things look not awkward, he took his hand off my waist and held both of my arms on his shoulders and kept them there, dancing us towards the middle of the floor. He knew I would not make a ruckus in front of everyone. 

“Please, let me go.” I told him. 

“Relax, Y/N, I’m not going to be able to do anything here. Besides, it’s just for old time sakes.” 

I pursed my lips. 

Oikawa looked at me with a look I could only call selfish. He knew he was good-looking, he knew he could get anything he wanted. 

“I screwed up, Y/N.” 

I looked up at him. “What?” 

“I manipulated you. I have to admit, I messed up. But I genuinely miss you. I think about you every day. No one was able to make me as happy as you.” 

He squeezed my hands that were on his shoulders, tighter. He then brought his arms down to my waist as we danced. 

“Oikawa, I don’t know what you want me to say.” 

“Give me another chance, please. We can’t just throw away the years of memories we made together.” 

I bit my lip. “I’m sorry, but-” 

“But she’s currently mine to dance with.” 

Suddenly, he took my arm from his shoulder, causing Oikawa to let go, and put my hands on his shoulders. 

Rintarou then put his hands on my waist, looking at Oikawa. 

Tōru furrowed his eyebrows, then after 2 seconds, he laughed. “Is that really you? I could never forget your eyes even if I wanted to.” Oikawa crossed his arms. Suna looked at me, and grabbed onto my waist tighter as we swayed to the song. 

“Really Y/N. Him now? How many different guys have you flirted with in the span of a month? You really are a hoe, aren’t you?”

Suna was about to let go of my waist. 

I shook my head as I looked at him, and smiled. 

I turned to face him. “The thing is, you’re calling me a hoe, but I’m pretty sure you called me really hot a while ago, so okay, maybe I am a hoe, but not yours. And at least I’m hot, according to you. Now, would you mind getting out of the way so I could dance with Suna, please?” 

I looked back at Suna, to see him smiling. As we danced, I made sure to step on Oikawa’s foot. “Oops, I’m sorry, you know me, I’m such a terrible dancer and all.” 

He looked at the both of us, then walked away. 

We both smiled at each other. Suna said, “Look who’s finally learning how to defend herself. Although, your comebacks could be a little better, but you did good, Kang.” 

I put my arms around his neck as we danced. “I was inspired by someone and all.” 

We danced in silence for a couple minutes as the slow song continued. 

“I ended it with Kita.” I told him. 

He made eye contact with me. “What?” 

“You heard me the first time.” 

He brought his hands from my waist down, caressing my figure, then back up. 

“And why did you do that?” He asked me. 

When I was about to answer, a man with a dashing blazer, who introduced himself as the captain of Shiratorizawa’s team. Wakatoshi Ushijima started talking to everyone from a stage, talking about why the banquet was so important and all. Everyone had stopped dancing, and looked up as Ushijima talked about a session that was about to happen with a bunch of scouts for volleyball teams that would automatically play at national level, if people were interested in playing volleyball as their career. 

After his speech, people dispersed into different areas, some starting to dance again. 

“Are you going to go to the session?” I asked Suna who was standing next to me. 

He shook his head. He looked around, then behind at the staircase again. I followed his vision. 

“Do you want to ditch this?” I asked him. 

We really had nothing else to do here, and the only person I really wanted to talk to was him. 

He looked back at me. “Y/N, I told you already-” 

“Oh shut it with your ‘you have to leave me’ because it’s better for you. We both can’t stay away from each other without coming back.” I told him. 

He smiled. “Where do you want to go then?” 

I thought about it. “I heard they have a roof here, why not go there?” 

I took his hand, and we started to walk up the staircase together. 

When we were about to continue walking, I heard someone call my name. 

“Y/N?” 

We both turned, to see Kita with his hair slicked back, also in a suit. 

“Kita? I thought you were supposed to be at your sister’s graduation?” 

Kita smiled. “It had finished earlier, and I was already wearing a suit, so I figured I should just come...Where are you two heading?” 

Suna and I looked at each other, then back to Kita. 

“Kita, Suna is…” 

I paused from talking. This hurt me so bad. 

Kita looked down to us holding hands. 

“Oh.” He looked down. He looked back up and smiled. “Well, like I said Y/N, if you’re happy, then that’s what matters.” 

I did not know what to say back. We let go of our hands. 

“Kita, I hope you know-” Suna started. 

“Suna it’s fine! I’m happy for the both of you. I mean, you two were finally able to get along really well! You were not able to do that when you had first met, so this is progress for you.”

He was being too positive. 

Kita continued, “Well, I’m going to head into the hall now, the food looks really good.” 

We nodded our heads, and walked away. 

I fidgeted with my hands as we found a staircase to go upstairs. Suna was ahead of me and look back at me. "Hurry up slowpoke." He said to me. I looked up and smiled at him. I took a part of my dress into my hands and walked up the stair case. 

But then I remembered, it’s better to know what you want to do, instead of toying around the bush, and leading others on. 

**Kita’s POV:**

After the two left, I headed for the bathroom. 

I got a paper towel from the dispenser, and wiped a door stall. Cleaning always calmed me. 

Suddenly, my hand turned into a fist and punched the door. 

She was gone from me as fast as I thought I had gotten her. 


	39. C39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: consensual sex, *giving/recieving* head  
> Suna said a line at the end of this chapter, from a poem in the book, "Pillow Thoughts", by Courtney Peppermell. It was reworded just a little, but credit goes to her poem!

**Y/N’s POV:**

Once we got onto the roof, I walked to the edge of it. When I looked up, I saw a bunch of stars. “Wow.” I said out loud. It was beautiful. 

Suna walked up next to me, keeping his hands in the pockets of his pants. It was freezing outside, but just being next to him, I did not even think twice about the temperature. We could hear the music from the hall all the way from the roof. 

“You’re a bad dancer and all, but since there’s no one else around me to ask, do you want to dance?” 

I looked at Suna and smiled. “I mean, since there’s no one else, I GUESS I could volunteer and dance with you.” 

He chuckled as he grabbed me by the waist, as I put my arms around his neck. We swayed to the rhythm of the song, a while into dancing, I stepped on his foot a couple of times, muttering “Sorry” whenever I did. He had then told me to put my feet on his shoes, as he led the way. 

I decided to break the comfortable silence. “It was you. I wanted to end things with Kita, because I wanted to be with you. I like you, Rintarou.” 

He stared into my eyes. 

“Y/N, you know I don’t have to say it for you to know.” 

“Say what?” I asked him, even though I knew. 

He smiled. He stopped dancing, letting my feet get off of his shoes, and he kept one hand on my waist, and with the other, he held my face. 

Slowly, our faces came closer to each other, and our lips connected. That kiss, was all I needed to know, that he had liked me, too. 

I ran my hands through his hair, as he tilted his head, tilting my own the other way. 

When we broke apart to catch for breath, he put his forehead on mine. 

“Thank you, for coming back into my life, Y/N.” 

I smiled. I kissed his lips again. “I should be the one thanking you.” 

I had let go, and we both walked back to the edge of the roof, looking at the skyline of Japan. It was a beautiful view. 

“Isn’t it beautiful?” I asked him. 

**Suna’s POV:**

Y/N had asked me if the view she was looking at was beautiful. 

I nodded, looking at her the whole time. She was better than the view she was talking about. She had also looked a lot like her mom, who she looked up to so much. 

She looked at me, and pouted. “You’re not even looking at it.” 

“I’m looking at something even better.” 

**Y/N’s POV:**

I blushed. Suna was never one to say what he felt, or say something as embarrassing, or sweet as what he had just said. 

I looked back at the view, and put my head on his shoulder. 

“Hey, Kang.”

“Hm?” 

“You know, your mom would have been so proud of the person you became, right?” 

Those words there. I have never heard someone say them. 

I took his hand. I did not have any words to say back. 

He had kept managing to make me fall harder for him. 

“No one’s said that to me before.” 

He squeezed my hand. “I’m here to say that now.” 

We watched the view of the city, as we heard the music in the background. 

After a while, Suna asked if he wanted to go back to his place. 

I nodded. 

As we went back down, we never let go of each other's hands. His large hand fit perfectly with mine. 

He had come taking Aran’s car, so he texted Aran, telling him to get a ride by someone else and that he would return the car the next day, as Suna and Aran did this often. 

Aran told him it was okay, and we got into his red car. 

~

Once we got to his house, I sat down on his sofa. He sat next to me. 

Then, Suna asked me, "You're spending the night here aren't you?"

"Well I don't know because I-"

What happened next was so quick.

Suna turned and pinned me down on his sofa,

"Aren't you?" He repeated. He looked so good with his suit, and the cologne smell was so intoxicating. 

I got flustered, "I mean, I don’t see why I can’t."

He took his right hand and grabbed my neck.

"Sure. But remember."

He got close to me. In my ear, he whispered, "My house. My rules."

I smirked. I tilted my head so I could whisper back in his ear, "Two can play at that game."

While still holding my neck, Suna first, lightly began to kiss my lips, then started becoming aggressive, I could taste the mint gum in his mouth, then I stole it and now it was in my mouth. We were both smiling but now it started to become a competition. I started to turn so I could be on top of him.

While kissing, he caressed my curves. He huffed out, "Not. So. Fast."

I opened my eyes and realized that we were still in the living room, where the windows were open and the lights were on.

I stopped kissing him and said, "Can we take this in your room?"

He turned around and said, "Why? Are you afraid someone will see us?" He smirked.

I nodded my head, because truthfully yes, I was scared. I don't know where we were heading with all of this but as of now, I'm a virgin still.

He said, "Well, if we do go into my room I have one condition. I'm in charge."

"We'll see about that." I winked.

In bridal style, he carried me into his room, where the lights were already off, and threw me onto his bed.

"Turn around." He ordered.

I turned around, sitting on top of his bed. He unzipped the back of my emerald dress, helping me carefully take it off. I was only in underwear now. I covered my arms, to hide my breasts, feeling vulnerable. He turned me back around, and laid me down on his bed softly. 

He took off his blazar, and threw it in a corner of his room. 

He climbed on top of me and began to kiss me again, this time roughly, and held onto my neck again. With his other arm, he started to cup my breast, and then move it down onto my thighs. He started pulling and playing with my underwear. Pulling it, then letting it go, then pulling it again.

My hands were all up in his long hair, enjoying every second of this. I don't know what this was, but I liked it. I liked how close we were and how even though it was cold outside, I'm feeling hot here.

His lips left mine, I already missed them, as he started to unbutton his shirt. I helped him take off his shirt, and it landed on top of where his blazar was. 

He started sucking on the left side on my neck, then went lower, closer to my collar bone. I couldn't help but moan, this, this all felt so good.

He stopped playing with my underwear. 

"Do you regret this?" He asked while kissing.

Unable to say anything, I shook my head. I was loving this.

"D- Do you?" was all I could say.

He stopped kissing me and in the dim light looked straight into my eyes. Both of us millimeters away from each other.

"Your eyelashes are so long. Are you wearing mascara?"

I nodded my head. "A little."

"Good. I don't regret this. But, do you want to do this? Like really want to do this."

Still breathless, I looked at him in the dark and caressed his face.

"I trust you." I whispered.

He kissed me, then kissed my forehead. He smirked. "I want to see that mascara run."

My hand went down towards the tent that I saw in his pants. Suna was already hard. 

He got on his knees, to unbutton his pants, and I helped tug them down. 

"You go first. If you're good, I'll give you a good time too. You got that?" He said.

I nodded. I want this. I wanted this so much.

He took off his boxers and out came his springing member. It was long. But I could take it.

My hair was a mess, but Suna took it all with one hand and pushed me down.

I made sure to open wide because I knew Suna wouldn't wait for me, and I started teasing him first.

I licked around the tip, and started hearing him groan. He pushed me down more and I continued to try and please him.

As I took him all in, I used my tongue to lick whatever I could, teasing him was something I still couldn't stop doing.

He grunted, "Y/- Y/N"

He pulled my head back and then I bobbed my head back and forth on his cock. The room filled with the sound of his uneven breathing. 

“I’m about to-” 

“Do it.” I told him. 

I went under and swallowed his ejaculation. He smiled at me. He didn't think I would do it again, but I have my own surprises.

"That was hot you slut." He said.

Now that turned me on even more. He slid my underwear down with ease, and first put in his long middle finger, in and out, in and out.

He played with the sides of my insides, and made circles every now and then while I continued to pump his dick.

He then put in two fingers. Then three. In and out they went.

"FUCK SUNA". I was yelling. It hurt but it felt so damn good.

"Say it again. Say my name again."

I could not stop moaning. "Make me."

"Oh, I'll make you alright."

He stopped all together and put both of his arms to my left and right.

"Do you want me to stop bitch?"

I looked at him again, his eyes, they had some fire in them.

"No, please. I want more."

"Say it. Who do you belong to?" 

He put his fingers inside of my hole without thinking twice. My back arched at the sudden movement. 

"You. Fuck. You, Suna." I said breathlessly but with no hesitation.

"Good girl."

He went down and spread my legs then started licking my area, at first slowly with small flicks of his tongue, but then licking with long strokes at my clit.

"SUNA." I grabbed his hair, this feeling was new to me, even though it was not my first time, it surely felt like it. He continued to suck on spots inside of me. 

"I'm about to c-"

"You can't yet. Wait." He said.

He stopped and I felt nothing once again. But I saw what he was doing. He grabbed me with my hips and put me on top of his dick, not in me, yet. I put my arms around his neck.

He commanded, "Grind on me."

I immediately started grinding on his cock, letting my liquid make his dick wet so it would be easier for him to insert. He felt so good, this close to me, already.

He took one of his hands and grabbed my face and kissed me, hard.

"Do you want to do this Y/N?" He said seriously.

"I'm ready Suna."

"Hey, listen to me, very clearly, I'm gonna make a safe word. If you don't use it, I won't go easy on you, but I want you to enjoy this just as much as me. It’ll be, ‘locker’."

"G- go, slow first please."

He nodded and slowly, laid me back down on the bed. He aligned his 7 inches, and slowly inserted himself into me. Both of his hands on the headboard, on top of me.

My eyes started to tear up, everything was so blurry. My hair was covering my face, I couldn't move my arms. I slowly breathed in then out. With his left arm, Suna moved the hair covering my face and said,

"The masacara's already running, but, I want to see more."

And put his arm back on the headboard.

At a slow pace, he started moving in, then out, the tears were prominent on my face now, but I didn't want it to stop.

Once he was fully in. He didn't go out. Instead, he took my hand then put it over my stomach. "You feel that?" 

I felt something long and hard in my stomach. Knowing exactly what it was, I smiled. Suna was happy right now, and that meant the world to me.

Then, he began to POUND into me.

So much for going slow. I was screaming at first, trying to hold it in by biting into Suna's right shoulder, but that turned Suna on even more. Eventually, it didn't hurt, and we were back to kissing each other while he continued to thrust inside of me, but we both began to feel our finish.

He took in my face. "Y/N. Let me finish first. Fuck. You're so tight. You whore."

I nodded my head, "But, I'm your whore."

He smiled and began to suck on my breast. My hands were in his hair again. I moaned whenever he would thrust himself into me with such force. He grunted whenever my walls would get tight around his cock. 

He released himself and cummed all over his bed. Some of it landed on my stomach. I made the bed wet, next, as my cum came out right after. He put a finger in me slowly, and then licked his finger.

He then laid next to me. We were both so out of breath.

"Have you done any of that before?" He asked me.

"No. It was my first time."

"Y/N...that was really. really. good." 

I knew it probably wasn't his first time, but I didn't really care. 

We both panted for air. 

A couple of minutes later, I sat up using my shoulders, I saw a shelf next to where I was. I got up and walked to it, not caring that I was completely naked. I saw Suna watch me as I went to it. I saw a black book that had caught my eye next to his yearbook. It had said, ‘SKETCH’ in a bright white font on the spine of it. 

I sat back down on the bed, with Suna looking at the book. I opened the book, to see pages of drawings Rintarou had sketched. They were actually, really, good. I had seen a view that he had drew from his window, then of the Miya twins, then of the bus we took. 

“Wait, Y/N, give that back.” He said, as he got up and crawled to my side. I kept the book, “I want to see these! They’re amazing, Suna.” 

Then, I quickly flipped all the pages with one movement, but I saw a picture that caught my eye. I flipped back and stopped, thinking that my eyes had deceived me. 

Suna had drawn me. 

He had drawn me from when we had hung out at the cafe when it was just us. 

I was smiling in the picture, holding my iced hot chocolate, wearing the clothes he had picked out for me. He had drawn it from his own point of view. 

I turned to look at him. 

His face was buried in the pillow. “Don’t look at me.” He mumbled. 

The date in the corner of the drawing, was when we had gone. This was what he had done all day, after I had left with Kita. 

My eyes started to tear up. He thought about me, even when I didn’t know. Even when he was the absolute worst at expressing his feelings. 

I closed the book, then put it on the table next to me, laying down next to him. 

I stroked his hair, as he turned to look at me. 

I kissed his lips, as a tear fell down my face. I smiled at him. 

“You make it harder everyday for me, to not fall in love with you, Suna Rintarou.” 

He blinked. “Did you just say, that you ‘loved’ me? Y/N?” 

I nodded. 

He took my face with his hand, and caressed it. 

“I thought about kissing you today, and yesterday, and the day before that. I know I’ll think about kissing you again, tomorrow.” He kissed me. “And the day after that.” He kissed me again. “And the days after that.” He rubbed his thumb along my cheek. 

“I think about kissing your dimple.” He kissed my dimple. 

“Your nose.” He kissed my nose. 

“Your lips.” He kissed my lips again. 

“Your everything.” He kissed right above my breast. 

He got up to get us a blanket that we threw in the middle of everything that just happened and covered me with it. He then went outside again to get me some water.

When he came back, he got inside of the blanket too. As we did not wear anything, we laid there, both exhausted. 

Facing towards each other, he brought me closer to him and rubbed away my mascara.

"I'm glad you're mine. Only mine."

I smiled. "Only yours." I kissed his nose and then his lips and nuzzled into his chest.

"Good night, Suna."

He held me tighter. 


	40. C40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Shower Sex

The next day, I woke up early enough to see that the sun was just only starting to rise. Suna was still sleeping, and I was still in his arms. 

At this moment, he seemed so at peace. I loved it. 

I kissed his forehead. Turns out, he was easy to wake up. He hugged me even tighter. 

“Suna.” I whispered. 

He groaned, his voice deeper in the morning then his already deep voice was. I did not even know that was possible. 

“We have to get up, there’s a tournament today.” 

“Just a little bit longer, Y/N.” 

His head landed on my bare breasts. I played with his hair for a couple of minutes. 

“Hey Suna?” 

“Yeah?” He said into my chest. 

“What are we now?” 

He stayed silent for a second, before taking his head up to look back at me. “You’re mine, Y/N.” 

I got up and crossed my arms with a sarcastic smile across my face. “Is this your way of asking to date now? I don’t want to be in any more confusing relationships with anyone.” 

He got up, using his elbows for support, as he lay shirtless on his bed. “Whatever.” He said. 

I took it as a confirmation, that we were officially a couple. 

I hugged him, making him fall back on his bed. He hesitated before hugging me back. 

**Suna’s POV:**

As she hugged me, I felt that she actually, genuinely loved me. 

I had never felt this from anyone, except from Y/N back then, too.

She was the only one who could make me genuinely happy in this world. The only reason I continued to keep living everyday. 

“Hey Y/N.” I continued. “I might major in art now.”

Maybe I could influence others the way she influenced me to be a better person. 

**Y/N’s POV:**

I smiled as he told me he might major in art. It was something he was truly good at. 

“You’ll do great things with art.” 

I got up from his arms, and used the blanket to cover my body. 

“Can you take me home so I could get my clothes for the tournament?” 

He looked at me and laughed. “Why are you covering yourself? I’ve already seen everything.” 

I pulled the blanket over me a little bit more. “Let me do what I want to do.” I couldn't help but get flustered. I don’t know why I wanted to cover myself all of a sudden but I did. 

“I need to take a shower at my apartment too.” I grabbed my dress, folding it neatly before I took it back home. 

“Why don’t you just take one with me here?” I turned to face Suna. 

“You’re kidding, right?” 

He got up completely, sitting crossed-legged on the bed. He shook his head with a serious face. 

Once I finished folding the dress, I put it up on the bed next to Suna. 

“Then, okay.” I told him.

He smirked. 

I let go of the comforter as we walked over to his bathroom. It was small, but it’s not like we wanted space from each other anyways. 

I stepped into the shower first, then he did. 

He reached over me to turn on the shower. 

The hot water helped soothe my sore body from last night. Suna put his hands over my shoulder, and his cold touch with the hot water made me let out a small sound. 

I turned to look at him. The shower making his hair wet was so attractive. 

“You’re so attractive.” I told him. 

He grabbed me by the waist, and pulled me closer to him, his dick brushing past my vulva. 

“Oh yeah?” He said.

My breasts touched his chest. Oh the butterflies I had felt just then. 

His hands moved down to my ass, and he smacked my bottom cheeks, letting me know to hop on and straddle him. 

I put my arms around his neck and locked my ankles around his waist. He glued his lips to mine. 

I felt my back press against a cold wall, which made me feel goosebumps and I hitched my breath. “Wait, you have a tournament today.” 

“I’m not going to be the one not able to walk, you will you whore.” 

He kissed my lips, moving his mouth to a spot on my neck.

He sucked on it as I felt my body start to crumble. The things this man did to me. 

He grabbed one of my legs, and put it over his shoulder, the other leg now on a side of the shower. 

This time, he started to bite on my bud, which caused me to grab onto his hair. 

“ _ Suna _ .” 

He hummed. “I love it when you say my name like that.” He continued to move his tongue in small, then big circles. Then, he stuck a finger in as he continued to eat me out. 

He stuck in another finger after, causing me to gasp. 

He then sucked, and kissed, whatever he could. 

“Cum for me, baby.” 

He kept thrusting his fingers in and out, and I felt an orgasm start to build. I let out a moan as I came. 

He licked every crevice, making sure he got everything. He used his arm to rub anything that was on his mouth. “Your pussy was great for breakfast.” 

He grabbed me by the ass again, as I had never let go of his neck. 

This time, he turned around so his back would be on the wall. 

“Ride me.” 

I smirked and nodded. 

I saw his dick, it was throbbing. 

He held onto my ass, as I put my pussy onto his dick, and started bouncing on his dick. His hands helped me balance, and I felt my breasts bounce up and down, I shoved my head into his shoulder, as it pained me at first. 

“Look at me, bitch.” He groaned. 

He took one of his arms so he could pick up my face by my chin, and make eye contact with him as I continued tightening my walls around him. 

I bit my lip, trying not to yell. 

He put his arm back onto my ass, and gripped it as I continued to go up and down on his cock. 

“Suna…” I moaned as my head rolled back. I said his name again. 

I felt his dick twitch inside of me. 

“ _ Shit _ .” He said. 

I looked at him again. “Do it.” I said. “I’m on birth control.” 

He smirked, grabbing onto my waist. He shoved his dick harder into my body. 

I felt him squirt inside of me. 

I followed him. 

I hugged him as his cock stayed inside me. He hugged me back.

“You’re good.” He told me. 

We stayed there like that for a while, me being held by him like that, catching our breaths. 

I eventually patted on his shoulder, to let him know he could take himself out of me, and slowly, he took his length out of me. 

I jumped off of him, and we continued to shower for the next 10 minutes, playing around. 

Suna got out first, telling me to wait inside so he could get me a quick shirt and sweats to wear so we could quickly go to my house. He came back and gave me a plain white shirt with black sweats. He wore his jersey with his shorts, ready for the tournament. 

We had taken Aran’s car to my house, and I quickly changed into shorts and a tank, wearing the Inarizaki windbreak on top. 

I came back out within 5 minutes, wearing my clothes, and holding onto my gym bag which also had Suna’s clothes that he had just given me in them. 

As we drove to Inarizaki to take the bus to Karasuno, Suna kept his hand on my thigh the whole time. We talked about the new episode that would come out tomorrow, as well as how he would apply to the Arts program at Inarizaki. 

“You know, Y/N” he started, “You could go into a teaching career. I mean, you study all the time, and you always have this caring side of you. You would be great for teaching people. You taught me a lot, anyways. And, you don’t give bad advice to the team either.” I looked at the road while he rubbed my thigh as he continued to drive. I have never thought about being a teacher before. 

“I guess I’ll look into it.” I told him. We reached our university, and immediately got on the bus. As Suna was about to sit next to me, Atsumu ran up to us on the bus. 

“Not so fast fucker.” He said in a loud voice. 


	41. C41

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: *giving head*

I looked at Atsumu who had just called Suna a fucker. Suna crossed his arms. “What do you want Miya?” 

He smiled. “Is she yours now?” Atsumu asked. 

Had he come just to gossip with us? 

Suna looked at me, then back at Atsumu. “Yeah, she is. So what do you need?” 

Atsumu put his hand on Suna’s shoulder. “Your permission.” 

I furrowed my eyebrows, confused by what was going on. 

“Huh?” I said. 

Atsumu responded, “Let me sit next to her so she can tell me all the details. She made me go on a fake date just to impress you, so give me 15 minutes with her and she’ll be all yours again.” He grinned. 

Suna looked at me. I smiled at him, mouthing that it was okay. 

“You touch my girl, and I’ll beat you until Osamu isn’t a twin but a single son.” 

I bit my lip, trying to keep in a laugh at Suna’s remark. 

He sat right behind us, and put headphones in his ears. Closing his eyes and resting his head on the headrest of the bus. 

Atsumu sat next to me. “So, are you two officially...you know….official?”

I grinned and nodded my head. “After the banquet last night, we talked a lot at his house.” 

He shook his head. “Do you mean talk or,  _ talk.”  _

I rolled my eyes. “However you want to put it.” 

He whispered into my ear. “You know, I saw the way you walked onto the bus Kang. You couldn’t walk straight.” 

I was shocked by his words and slapped his head. “That’s not true.” 

He nodded his head and laughed. “It so is. It’s okay Y/N, your secret is safe with me.” 

He put his arm around me. “My little Y/N is all grown up now, isn’t she.” 

Suna, from the middle of our seats, slapped Atsumu’s arm, then laid back into his seat. “OW!” Atsumu yelped. 

“I told you, no touching her.” He said with his eyes closed. 

I smiled at Suna who was sitting behind us. 

“How was the banquet after we left?” 

“It was good. I got the number of this really cute girl from Karasuno. I hope I see her there today since she’s their manager.” 

I turned my body to face him. “Really? That’s so exciting! It’s about time you found a girl for yourself, you idiot.” 

He smiled. “It is, isn’t it Y/N.” 

I nodded. 

I looked back out the window. 

A couple of minutes later, Suna tapped my shoulder. 

“Are you two done talking?” He asked. 

Atsumu and I looked at each other as I nodded. 

Atsumu turned to face Suna. “I still don’t approve of you dating Y/N. But, I know you make her happy.” He crossed his arms and looked up with his eyes closed, as if he was some king. “So I’ll continue letting you two date, but if you break her heart, then I will do my best to ruin your life.” 

Suna looked at Atsumu, squinting his eyes. “Thanks, dad.” He said. 

Atsumu got back down to Earth, telling Suna, “DAD? I am most definitely not your dad. Don’t ever say something like that again.” He scoffed. 

“Sorry,  _ dad.”  _ Suna said to get Atsumu’s gears running. I laughed at the little conversation. Here was my best friend, and now my boyfriend, having a little playful argument about me. 

Rintarou then looked at me, as he said something to Atsumu which made me wish I was just anywhere but on the bus. 

With a cunning smirk, he said, “You said if I broke her heart, you would ruin my life, but is it okay if I break her back?” 

The redness of my face was immense. I crouched into the corner of my seat and put the gym bag over my face. I looked back up at Atsumu also blushing heavily, and looking at Suna with such an intense stare.

Suna was laughing, while Atsumu and I were speechless. 

Then the bus hit a break. 

Suna stood up as I stay in my little position as if I wasn’t even here, and Atsumu still was in shock like me over my boyfriend’s remark. 

“What Y/N? I have to be honest with him obviously.” 

Atsumu looked back at me and said, “Now I see why you’re with this man. Damn if I was a girl, I would’ve fallen for you just now Suna.” He shivered and got up, telling us we would see him later. 

We both got off the bus, me being super conscientious of how I walk, and I got a head count of everyone. Everyone was there, and ready to play. 

As we all walked into Karasuno’s College, their gym was old-fashioned, and their players were all running around the court. 

Two of the boys who were running in unison together, paused when they saw me. 

“TANAKA!” Noya yelled.

He looked at me, then at Nishinoya. “What’s wrong?” 

Noya said, “Wasn’t that the girl with the guy who you know...sp-” 

I ran up to them, before the rest of the team could hear him finish his sentence. 

“Spilled his drink all over me? Yeah, but don’t worry, my top was black so no one noticed.” I tilted my head and grinned at them. They looked at each other than back at me. 

The shorter one with a blond streak continued, “Ohhhh, we get it mamacita, don’t worry, we got your back.” He winked at me and raised his hand for me to high five. 

I high-fived him and they continued to run. I turned to look at all the boys, who were confused except for Suna, who looked like he was holding in a laughter. 

I ordered all the boys. “Okay team, your job right now is to run with the other team and stretch your body out, so get running.” The boys nodded at me and started to jog. Suna followed from behind them, stopping by me first. 

“I better not have heard that short guy call you mamacita.” 

“And what if he did?” I told him, looking down at my clipboard. 

He let out a small laugh. “You’re such a damn flirt.” 

As he was about to jog, he smacked my ass and continued to run. 

I looked around to see that no one had seen that, which was such a risky call, but Suna obviously didn’t care if anyone saw. In fact, I think he wanted someone to see that. 

~

The game was over, and Inarizaki had lost, winning the first match, but not the last two. It was only by a point, that they lost the other two games. 

I walked up to the boys, who were upset and frustrated. 

“Hey now. You all are twenty year old men. Let’s not be upset over one loss! We literally have so many more games to play, and now we have to be even more excited for the next time we play against Karasuno, because we’ll be even stronger than them.” 

Kita smiled, and said, “You always know what to say, don’t you.” 

Suna came to my side, and held my hand. “She does.” 

I smiled up at Rintarou. 

I looked at all the boys nodding their heads at my words. 

Kita’s smile seemed sad. 

I looked back at the floor, biting the corner of my cheek. I hope this awkward feeling between Kita and I would go away, but who knows if that would happen anytime soon. 

I held Suna’s hand tighter. “Should we go now?” 

He nodded his head, and we led the way out. 

When everyone got on the bus, Suna sat next to me, and put his head on my shoulder. He was tired, and upset from the loss. 

~

Suna and I had taken the bus home, and we went to my house together. He would be staying over so we could watch the new episode of our favorite show together the next day. 

When we got to my house, we sat on my sofa after taking off our shoes, his head resting on my lap. I played with his hair, as he was more silent, and did not make any sarcastic remarks towards me. He loved playing volleyball, and losing sucked for him. It hurt his ego, I could tell. 

“You know, whenever it’s hard to express what I’m feeling, I just write it down, and either keep it so I could look back at it to see how I’ve improved from that, or just to remember it, or throw it away if it’s a feeling I hate. Maybe you should try that.” 

He turned his face in my lap to look up at me. 

“Just because I told you that you should go into the teaching profession, does not mean you should become a school guidance counselor or something.” 

I laughed as I continued to scratch his head. 

“I’m serious! I used to do it a lot when I was younger, although I would throw away the sheets of paper, so I don’t remember much of what I wrote.” 

He continued to stare at me. 

“You must have been so lonely, even when so many people were around you.” 

He had not said that sarcastically. I looked at his soft hair and twirled it with my finger. 

“I’m grateful for where I am now after all of it.” 

Suna touched my face, and brought it down so he could kiss my forehead. 

“You’re not alone anymore. Neither am I.” He said. 

I proceeded to play with his hair. “Why don’t I give you a little something for playing so well today?” 

He sat up immediately. “And what do you have in mind?” 

I got up, and sat on top of him. I kissed his lips, holding his face with both of my hands. I then licked his top lip, getting an entry into his mouth. The cinnamon taste I loved was back. 

He made a deep sound in my mouth, and I felt something from where I was sitting. 

I got off of him, and pulled his shorts down, taking off my windbreaker. 

He pulled his boxers down, and I slowly started to pump him with my hand. 

“Is it this easy to make you hard?” 

His hands were on either side of the sofa, with his head looking down at me. 

“Shut up.” 

I smirked as I started to lick his tip. Hearing him groan from my touch. 

All at once, knowing what he liked, I built the spit up in my mouth, and put his cock deep into my mouth, as it touched the back of my throat. I felt little tears form at the corner of my eyes, but Suna took one hand and used it to hold my hair, as I moved my hand up and down in circular motions while moving my mouth in the same motion. I continued to bob up and down, wanting this moment to be something just for Suna. 

In a deep and low voice, he said, “ _ Y/N- Fuck- _ ” 

His breathing pattern shifted into quick and heavy breathing. 

Then, I felt his semen come squirt into my mouth. 

I swallowed it, opening my mouth to show him before he would ask me, and he smiled. 

He pulled his boxers back up, and I tossed him his shorts. Still sitting on the floor. 

“Let’s eat then sleep.” I told him 

He got up, and took my hand as I was still sitting on the floor. 

We went to my kitchen as Suna threw me a bottle of water, and I drank half of it. 

He then went through my fridge and pantry, and told me to sit on the kitchen table as he made something. I nodded and went to the table. 

I took out my phone, and checked the time, it was half till’ midnight. 

I saw my dad had texted me to check up on me, and I called him, letting him know I was safe and sound, he told me he was going on another trip which would take a month more, which did not surprise me at all. We said, “I love you” to each other, and the call ended. 

When the phone call had ended, Suna had come out with two plates. 

“Who else do you love?” He asked, referring to who I was with on the phone. 

I put my hand on my face and looked at him. “My dad. He told me he was going on another trip, so I wouldn’t see him soon.” 

I looked down at the plates, to see that Suna had made pancakes. 

“Pancakes for dinner?” I looked back at him with a questioning look. 

“Trust me, it’s great after a game.” He had already taken a fork and a big bite of the food he made for us. 

I followed him and took a bite. The pancake was fluffy and sweet. It was really good. 

We quickly ate our food, and I put our plates in the dishwasher and we walked into my room. 

I gave him his hoodie he could wear which I still had, and changed into an oversized shirt myself. I didn’t feel like wearing any pants since the shirt fit me like a dress.

We got into the bed, and instead of sleeping, we stayed up for two more hours, just talking about anything, to everything, learning more about each other. Our favorite colors, our favorite movies, our favorite family members, embarrassing moments, and more. 

I opened up to this man, more than anyone in my life. I could never stop thanking him for making me feel so relieved. 

Eventually, Suna had fallen asleep while I was talking about a funny incident that had happened in chemistry last year. He was nodding and listening, but he had dozed off when I was not looking. He was already so tired anyways. 

I kissed his forehead, and turned my face away from him, also trying to fall asleep. A couple minutes later, Suna pulled me closer to him, and in a raspy voice, whispered, “Tell me more.” 

I still did not face him, as I told him, “Good night, Rintarou.” 

He put his face in the crook of my shoulder, and fell asleep. I whispered the next part to myself.  _ “I love you.”  _

**Suna’s POV:**

I had heard her whisper the three words, as I was not completely asleep yet. 

I loved her more, than she could ever love me. 

But I never would know how to tell her that. But she knew, without me having to say it.

She wouldn’t know, though, that I would write down every single time I thought about her, after she had given me the idea. Maybe, one day, I would show her. She thought this whole time she was alone, but I would always be by her side.

Because everyone in this world has one person, even when they feel like there’s no one, that will support them. I was Y/N’s one person. 

I love you, Y/N. I always have. 

You’re mine. 

~ 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: The story has officially come to an end! As the reader, you can imagine whatever your heart desires, to its fullest. I really hope that all of you that follow me, still stay following me as I continue to create more stories for you all. I appreciate each one of you SO much! 
> 
> ~
> 
> If there was a time-skip, it would be that in 4 years after this, Suna would be an aspiring artist, getting his artwork selected for a few galleries, and Y/N would be getting a teaching degree for teaching kids with IDDs (Intellectual and Development Disabilities), as she wanted to help kids and families who had been through tough times, as well.


End file.
